


Of Truths and Starlight

by runaway_fancies



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Action/Adventure, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Not Compliant with Avatar Comics, Post-Canon, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:42:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 65,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27081385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/runaway_fancies/pseuds/runaway_fancies
Summary: "Zuko isn’t a good speaker. Except when he is. When he actually convinced them to let him join their group. When he stood before the people of all the nations and promised an era of peace and love. When he found the correct words about her mother. And now, as they lie on the grass and he tells the story of Agni scattering stars like jewels loose from his hair so Tui would not be alone in the night sky."The end of the war brings with it the rest of their lives. Lives they had not dared to imagine before. And Zuko and Katara learn each other. In the future, people will say it was inevitable, it was fated, it was destined to be. Katara simply knows she would not have made any choice differently, not the simple ones, not the hard ones.
Relationships: Katara/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 238
Kudos: 206





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello to anyone who clicked on this. I've loitered around the tags for quite a while but this is the first story I have written in many years. It grabbed my imagination and demanded to be written and would not let go. So, here I am! It's not completed but I do have an outline and I do know where it is going. I hope you enjoy it.

Endings are simply beginnings in disguise. 

Katara had realised that only as she stood beside Zuko, looking down at a girl she had long considered her enemy break down before her eyes. Ending the war was only the first part. Because what came next? What were they to do now?

Zuko’s weight had sunk down against her shoulder as he tried to hold himself steady. It was a burden that she had been happy to bear, then.

It’s a burden that sits like a stone inside her chest now.

The stillness of Lady Ursa’s old garden is a breath of fresh air amongst the chaos of the last few weeks. With the delegates flocking in from every corner of the world, with reunions with old friends all around, with the coronation to plan and so many, many stories to tell, she cannot remember the last time she has been able to sit still and take in her surroundings. The whisper of the leaves, the silver ripples of the water, the slight brush of wind on humid skin. And Zuko. Sprawled under the tree, eyes fixed on the surface of the pond, in his dark robes and loose hair, he looks like a painting drawn entirely in blacks and whites.

Until he hears her step down from the covered walkway and turns his head. Even Yue’s light cannot disguise the shades of his eyes.

Zuko’s mouth tips up at both corners, sunshine stealing into long forgotten rooms. It’s as close to laughter as Katara has ever seen from him.

Did you once laugh in this very garden, she wonders. Did they steal that from you too?

“I thought firebenders dropped off to sleep with the sun.” She settles onto the grass beside him. “You were usually out even before we finished eating.”

“The nights are the only moments I get to myself now. I’m beginning to realise sleep might just be a myth for the Fire Lord.” He rubs his chest absently. He does that often now. Katara has noticed his moments of distraction, when he is not being the Fire Lord, when his hand slips up to his sternum. It makes her own heart ache.

“Zuko, you should rest.” Her voice is too soft, too intimate. She doesn’t know what to do with this feeling, with this boy who placed himself between her and a streak of lightning without a thought. It had been the easiest decision of his life, he’d told her. In a life full of hard choices, it was a decision that he hadn’t even needed to ponder on. And what is she to do with this knowledge?

“I am resting,” he insists, stubborn as always. “I’m resting my mind. This is the only place, the only time I can hear myself think. I’m fine, Katara. But what about you? What are you doing here in the middle of the night?”

“I needed to think. Dad spoke to Sokka and I. You know most of the warriors have gone back home. And Dad means to leave as soon as the peace talks are over. And I do miss home and Gran-gran and the Tribe. But I don’t want to just leave. I can’t just leave Aang and Toph and Suki. And you.”

He is quiet for a moment, his eyes intent on her. But he turns back to the water as he speaks. “I understand. It’s hard for me too, to think of your leaving. All of you, you’ll go home soon. And I’ll be here. But Katara, it’s not like we’re separating forever. I’ll always be there, even when I’m not actually there...physically...you know...”

And Katara has to laugh as he trails off awkwardly. She watches him as he glances at her shyly out of the corner of his eyes. “I can write you. If you want. And you can reply. But you don’t have to.” A deep sigh and he seems to gather himself up, “I just mean, I’m here Katara.”

“I’m here too,” she whispers back and tilts her head up to look at the sky. The stars are different here. Not unrecognisable. But the constellations are positioned differently. It takes her a moment to distinguish the Tiger-shark’s fin, to pick out Asiaq’s Torch at the prow of the Canoe. These are the stars of her homeland, and underneath them her people are waiting. Gran-gran is waiting.

She waves her hands and summons a ribbon of water from the pond. The motions that, a year ago, were a strain are almost therapeutic in their smoothness, their flowing nature, as she makes the water quiver and dance around her head. Zuko watches her for a while before he makes a sharp movement of his wrist and a narrow ribbon of fire rushes forward to chase her water. 

Katara grins and leads him a merry chase around the tree and the pond and about their bodies before weaving the stream of water in front of them, in long, whirling loops. Zuko’s brow creases in concentration as he slots his flaming ribbon around the gaps of hers. Together they watch the two strands circle each other, ever faster and faster, until they are a blur of bright warm orange interspersed with the cool darkness of the water. A quick movement from Zuko and the flames shudder like a living thing before twining around her water ribbon. There’s a sharp hiss of steam as both dissolve. 

Then silence again.

“Are you scared?” Her voice barely stirs the air around them.

“Yes.”

“Do you think we can build a good world together?”

“We must. We will,” his voice is determined. Katara thinks of his motto, the knife he had once shown her and the characters etched on it, the persistence that they share. This is something they have both decided upon. How can they fail? “And this week’s peace summit is the first step. We should rest.”

“Will you be here tomorrow?”

“Will you provide better conversation than my advisors?” His smile is wry.

“I’ll pay you in stories for your company,” she smiles back in his direction.

***

It is this hope that gets her through the rest of the next day. And the day after that. And the day after that. As diplomats squabble over reparations and peace treaties, as Zuko glares down the more recalcitrant of his ministers before they can insult any of his guests, as the Earth Kingdom and the Fire Nation officials circle round and round the issue of the colonies. Half the days find Aang gazing longingly out of the window at the sky beyond. Toph stops attending after the first morning. Katara has to bite down on her tongue every time her suggestions are brushed off as ‘childish’. Are they not children, after all? Children who fought a war but have still so much to learn of a world at peace. 

The days are filled with negotiations.

But the nights are theirs. They meet in the gardens as the rest of the palace drops off to sleep. They shed the mantles of Fire Lord and the last waterbender of the Southern Water Tribe and trade secrets. They leave behind the quarrels and arguments of the council chambers and become Zuko and Katara, tracing clusters of stars into the constellations of their people, exchanging the stories of their childhood, dreaming up different worlds which don’t hold the complications of their lives.

Zuko isn’t a good speaker. Except when he is. When he actually convinced them to let him join their group. When he stood before the people of all the nations and promised an era of peace and love. When he found the correct words about her mother. And now, as they lie on the grass and he tells the story of Agni scattering stars like jewels loose from his hair so Tui would not be alone in the night sky.

It is so difficult to reconcile this boy with the arrogant prince she met less than a year ago, this boy with his fleeting smiles, with his named-after-desserts turtleducklings, with his Fire Lord crown and burdens and scars. How many people know you, she wonders. How many do you allow close enough? And she thinks also, thank you. Thank you for letting me know you. 

***

His hand lies on the grass between them. He put it there, close enough to her own fingers that she can feel the constant warmth that radiates from him. But he has not touched her and she cannot either. The last time they held hands was when she fell asleep while healing him and woke to her hands cradled within his on his chest. It meant nothing. She is leaving, leaving, at the end of the talks in three days.

And they are only friends anyway.

“Katara?”

“Hmmm?”

“Do you...do you think we’ll remain friends a year from now?”

She sits up abruptly to look down at him. “Zuko, you have promised to write me every week. If I do not get a letter, I will waterbend myself halfway across the world and come kick your ass. And then I’ll make Toph do it too.”

His smile is shadow-quick. “I’m glad she’s staying here. And uncle too. I didn’t want to be left behind.”

Some things are more important than her own confused feelings. She throws herself into his arms, as she had done once before. It’s an awkward position as he is once again half-sprawled under the tree. But as his arms come up to enfold her and his head bows to rest in the crook of her neck, it also feels right. It feels perfect.

“No one would leave you behind. No one who really knew you even could. I’ll be with you, Zuko, even when I’m not here...physically.”

He huffs into her neck before drawing away. A laugh, for him. “Your jokes are worse the Sokka’s.” And then, softer, “I’ll write you every week. It probably won’t be very interesting. Financial proposals and petitions. But I’ll write.”

“Alright. I’ll be your long-distance advisor. I’ll call out your ministers when they are being stupid and put my stamp of approval on all your good plans.”

“My best advisor, then? And I’ll want to hear all about what you are doing. Every wall you build, every new form you perfect, every new policy you frame.”

For all the power of his roaring flames, Zuko is softness and silence in his most private moments, from the gentle warmth in his golden eyes to the soft rasp of his voice, like smoke unfurling in the dark, and the deliberate and unobtrusive way he walks when he is not being watched, flitting from shadow to shadow.

Katara looks at him and although she is sitting in front of him, she suddenly misses him with a ferocity. The future opens up like a chasm in between them, filled with brief yearly meetings. And they have both always done their duty, she knows. They always will. The needs of their people take first place. 

But for now, she wants to hold on to this moment and live in it forever.


	2. Chapter 2

Zuko cannot ever remember such indignity at the breakfast table in his father’s or grandfather’s time. But it lifts his heart to the point that he forgets to dread his upcoming visit for a brief moment. Food flies from Sokka’s mouth in every direction as he speaks and Toph threatens to wrap the metal from the doors around his neck if he doesn’t shut up. Aang attempts to calm a grumpy Toph down while Suki looks unconcerned as she chats with Chief Hakoda and Uncle. The server who had brought him his tea looks alarmed at the noise levels and Zuko can barely hear his uncle’s voice even though the man is seated right next to him. And it is perfect.

He looks up across the table in time to catch Katara’s smile. She is beginning to look tired from their long nights and he knows that his strength is flagging as well. Still, he cannot bear to give up on those moments for even a single night. The peace talks end soon and the last ship of the Southern Water Tribe will sail home with its Chief and his children. Their time is limited, each minute of camaraderie snatched up against all odds.

Zuko finishes his cup of ginseng just as Sokka flings his arm expansively while narrating a story. The half-full plate of rice cakes overturns into Toph’s lap and Momo scuttles under the low table to grab the spoils. Zuko decides the time has come for a quick retreat as the floor of the dining room shakes. 

His father’s lip would have curled in disgust. Azula would have made a biting comment. Zuko, ever the disappointment, finds himself overflowing with fondness.

***

It is a mood that lasts about as long as it takes him to walk to the quiet hospital, some distance away from the palace.

His sister is seated before the window, clad in the plain robes the care workers have put on her, a small table with a full tea service at her elbow. He stares at her listless posture, at the jagged strands of dark hair and has to steel himself to face her.

Her eyes lift to his face only as he comes to stand in front of her and her voice holds no inflection as she murmurs, “Zuzu”. 

“Azula. How are you?” He waits for an answer, does not receive anything but that blank stare. “I came to tell you that Father is to be executed. The nations have decided. He is to die tomorrow. I thought...I thought you should know from me first.”

“Is Father angry with me?”

“Azula...”

“He did not come for my firebending practice. I perfected my forms today. But he didn’t come.”

Zuko frowns. “You did not have firebending practice today. You’re in the hospital...”

“Can you ask Mother to leave? She’s trying to make me drink tea. I don’t want tea.”

“Azula, Mother isn’t here.”

“I don’t want tea!”

“Then don’t drink the tea! Mother’s not here!” He takes a deep breath. When he thinks of Azula, he thinks of the girl with perfectly coifed hair chasing him on Father’s orders. He thinks of the little sister running behind him on the sand, wait for me Zuzu, Zuzu wait! His tormentor. His baby sister. Her two faces.

And the girl in front of him is neither. He doesn’t know this girl. He’s not sure he wants to. He’s not sure if he can do it anymore, this constant push-and-pull with Azula.

“Is there anything you do want?”

“Will Father come to see me practice tomorrow?”

Zuko wants to sob. He wants to laugh and never stop. “No, little sister.”

Something in her eyes flicker. She raises her hand and looks at it, the self-wrought destruction of it. Nails torn and broken, skin cracking around the palms. She looks at the cushion on which she is seated and the low wooden table with the tea service. She puts her hand on it, face down and the wood begins to smoke. “Tell Mother to go away.”

An attendant hurries forward from the doorway where she had been standing silently. A healer beckons Zuko away. He goes.

Healer Seiyo looks apologetic but he waves her away. She had warned him and his sister’s state of mind is not the healer’s fault. Still, his walk to the palace is slower than the reluctant step that brought him to the hospital.

***

In the entrance hall, he comes face to face with Aang and Katara, fresh from a sparring session, flushed and sweating. He can tell they were laughing together but stopped at the sight of him.

“Zuko, what’s wrong?” Aang looks concerned. Zuko must look worse than he thought. It is difficult to remember to put his mask on in front of his friends, the few people he trusts in the world. 

“I’d gone to see Azula. I thought she should know about tomorrow directly from me and not...not rumours. Or anybody else.”

Aang’s eyes skitter away and Zuko knows he feels guilty. Aang, more than anyone, had protested the verdict. But the Earth Kingdom and the Water Tribes had decided that Ozai’s crimes warranted a death sentence. And a small part of Zuko feels bad for agreeing, for being relieved, for feeling less about it than Aang. Father, that tiny voice whispers. Monster, the rest of him hisses back.

Aang murmurs that he needs to visit Appa and disappears. But Katara follows Zuko as he makes his way towards a small courtyard. Not his mother’s garden where they share their night time meetings but a tiny stone courtyard with a gently gurgling fountain, shaded by a large mango tree. They sit on a bench in silence, side by side.

Aang would have filled the quiet with nervous chatter, Toph would have punched his arm, Sokka would have uncomfortably offered to listen or cracked a joke. Katara simply sits beside him, close enough that her curls tickle his face, close enough that he could slump against her shoulder if he needed to. But he’s done that already, hasn’t he? And he can’t, he won’t add to Katara’s burdens.

Zuko turns his head towards her and blinks. There are twigs and leaves and even little clumps of dirt caught up in her loose hair. Katara’s spars with Aang don’t usually end in this kind of a mess so Toph must have been involved. He wonders which area of the palace they have redecorated this time as he begins to pick out the debris from her hair. He’s not sure how he missed it at first, even in his distraction. Zuko presents every twig he combs out to her and she plucks it from his upturned palm, fingers brushing his hand. He sees her mouth quiver as she swallows a giggle at him handing her rubbish from her hair as if they are precious gifts. It’s so silly, downright dumb actually. The men standing guard behind them are probably rolling their eyes. But it’s exactly what they need at this moment.

“What do you miss most about home?” Not whether she misses home. He doesn’t need to ask that. He knows she does.

“The cold. Nurri’s stew. Gran-gran combing my hair by the fireside. Ice fishing with my father. The southern lights dancing across the sky. Listening to the elders’ stories during the long winter nights.” She hums. “Although I like our version of that too.”

“I used to miss my mother’s garden and the turtleducks,” Zuko smiles. “The fireflies outside my window on summer evenings. The smell of the earth and the leaves after rain. Old Jiro’s dimsums. And the fruit.”

“I think I’ll miss the fruit too, when I leave.”

“You could take it with you. As much as you want. Pack them in ice.”

She gives him an indulgent smile, “Even then, I don’t think they’ll last very long.”

“Well no. But a little longer than they would otherwise.”

She makes no rejoinder and they listen to the tinkle of water for a few minutes. Katara rolls a twig around in her fingers while Zuko tugs at the long bell-like sleeves of his robes. They are extremely uncomfortable but he is expected to wear the formal robes in company. At least he has been able to delegate the floor length ones to ceremonial occasions alone. 

“I haven’t been able to see him. I went to Azula but I could not speak to him.”

“Zuko, as far as your father is concerned, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

“Uncle said the same thing.” What Uncle had actually said had been sometimes journeys come to an end long before they actually do. Zuko’s not sure he understands completely but that has always been the case with Uncle. He knows Iroh has faced his brother, had been the one to inform him of the War Tribunal’s decisions really. They hadn’t spoken of that though, only Zuko’s feelings. Zuko is not brave enough to ask Iroh what he feels about having to watch his younger brother die. “I’ll have to see him tomorrow though.”

“Not if you don’t want to. Zuko, no one can force you to face him!”

“No. But the Fire Nation has caused so much harm to the world. And we were part of it, Uncle and I. I have to speak to him one last time. Make it clear that his world is over...prove that we don’t condone what he did. That we aren’t the same.” He slots his fingers through the gaps of her own, stilling her restless hands. “It’s alright, Katara. I walked away from him a while ago. I said my goodbyes. I expected him to die. Tomorrow will just be the final end.” 

“Aang is unhappy.”

“I know. But this wasn’t Aang’s decision to make. Or mine.”

“Zuko, will you be alright? The Fire Nation can’t be happy. And we are leaving you here to face it.”

“I’ll be fine. Uncle will be here. And Toph has promised to stick by my side for a while. She...she’s not sure about her parents either. And we’ve been hard at work vetting new council members, new staff. Don’t worry about me, Katara. You should go home and focus on your Tribe and your bending alone. I’m sure you’ll have students soon.”

“I don’t know. I was the last waterbender for so long. And the kids were very young when we left. Some of them may begin to show their powers soon. I hope so.”

“And that other matter? The one we discussed. I know your brother and father spoke to you but are you sure you are alright?”

She takes a deep breath and lets it out on a sigh. She uncurls her fingers from his. “Yes...yes. It’s the right thing to do.”


	3. Chapter 3

The sun brings with it Ozai’s last day in the world. But along with that, the day brings its own challenges for her and Zuko. She watches him fiddle with his food and not eat any of it. His face looks grimmer than she has ever seen it before, black shadows lying deep beneath his eyes even though they had forgone their meeting last night.

His face holds the sternness of his Fire Lord mask when Iroh nods at him. The two of them rise and leave the room before breakfast has ended, their plates untouched. The rest of them watch as her father follows. The morning is unusually somber.

“Will Zuko be okay?” Katara has never heard Toph sound so uncertain, so _young_!

“This is monstrous! It’s not fair. He doesn’t even have his bending,” Aang sounds devastated.

“It wasn’t his bending alone that made Ozai dangerous. We never even actually saw him. He wasn’t chasing us around like Zuko or Azula. Not having bending does not make you less of a threat.” There’s a bite to Sokka’s tone that makes Aang wince. They are all on edge. The sense of foreboding in the air isn’t helping.

“Well, Zuko shouldn’t be expected to _watch_ it!”

“Aang, no one is going to watch anything. It’s not a spectacle. Iroh and Zuko just need to say their goodbyes.” Katara can feel her voice catch in her throat but Aang needs comfort. “I know you hate this. And it can’t be easy on them. But there’s nothing we can do about this.”

“But I’m the Avatar! If I let this happen, it was all a waste. Going to the lion-turtle, learning energybending, stopping this war without killing Ozai!”

“Twinkletoes, you stopped a war with as little bloodshed as possible. You learned a new technique. You didn’t have to bring yourself to kill a man. But we were all there in those meetings. Avatar or not, this is not up to you.”

For a few moments, there is absolute silence around the room. It’s difficult to meet each other’s eyes with the knowledge that a man is being deliberately sentenced to die not too far away. With the knowledge that Zuko is going to lose his father soon, whatever kind of father the man may have been.

“I...I’m going to take my glider out for a while. I’ll come back before the meetings this afternoon. I can’t be here right now.”

“Will you be okay?” Sokka sounds anxious. “I’m sorry I snapped...”

“No, no. It’s not your fault. I just need a break from all this.”

“Alright Aang. Be careful, okay? We are all here to talk if you need us.”

“Thank you Katara,” he says warmly. “I’ll be back soon.”

***

The room descends into silence after his departure. Katara looks at her bowl of pineapple. It’s a fruit she usually loves but today it tastes like ashes in her mouth. It seems like hours that they sit around the room, exchanging tension-fraught glances. But it can’t be more than one hour at most before Zuko comes back.

He looks worn out. He looks like he’s had a firebending session and a sword match at the same time against a dozen opponents each. His voice is raspier than ever when he asks for a cup of tea. Suki hands it to him and he warms the cup in his hands and gazes into the golden depths of the beverage. The others look at each other, all hesitant to speak up first. But it’s Sokka who breaks the silence.

“Zuko, you okay buddy?”

A deep breath. “It’s done. Uncle says the cremation should be tomorrow. That’ll be quiet too. Just us.” He straightens the tea pot. Lines up the used cups in a single line. Rips up a little cake into small pieces and drops them on his plate without eating them. “His last words to me were, ‘It looks like you are my son after all’”. His smile twists up into a bitter thing and she longs to reach out to him, to take away that look from his face.

“Well, Sparky, I’ll be honest. You’re better off without him. He doesn’t know you at all if he can’t see the guilt all knotted up inside you everywhere. I’m blind and even I see the tension. Just relax and drink your yucky reheated tea.”

It isn’t the approach Katara would have taken. Toph’s ‘tough love’ can be hard to take at times. But as she watches the warmth crawl back into Zuko’s eyes and he takes a sip of tea and picks up some cake crumbs to put in his mouth, Katara feels intensely grateful to the little earthbender for finding the correct words. It’s still not okay, the wounds might never fully heal, but at least Zuko isn’t receding inside himself again.

***

But the tension Zuko gradually sheds as he spends the morning with his friends collects on her shoulders as the afternoon approaches. And Katara isn’t sure if she wants to run to this meeting so it can be over with quickly or crawl so that she never reaches.

She does neither, of course. She walks sedately in and folds herself down on the cushion by her father’s elbow as she usually does. Sokka sits on his left and Bato and Nanouk are beyond him. Aang has returned just in time and is seated on the other side of the council table but he looks confused at the presence of only the Southern Water Tribe leaders.

Minister Yokao gets to his feet from Zuko’s right. From what Katara has noticed he is one of the more reasonable Fire Nation ministers, Iroh’s friend more than Ozai’s, and willing to stand at Zuko’s side. She is glad he is the one introducing this.

“At the beginning of the negotiation, it was agreed that all prisoners of war were to be freed and returned to their homes. Today, we are here to discuss two war prisoners. There are only two Southern waterbenders left in our prisons. And now, with deep shame, Fire Lord Zuko has ordered for their release. Chief Hakoda, for our crimes against your people, we ask your...”

“If I may interrupt,” Minister Okulun rises to his feet. “I seem to remember reports that stated one of these prisoners escaped and managed to commit grievous horrors against innocent Fire Nation citizens. How can we even think of releasing this woman?”

“I do not think the Fire Nation is in a position to speak of ‘grievous horrors’, Minister Okulun. We have agreed that the release of all prisoners is of the first importance. I cannot and will not hold Master Hama here while the rest of her people go home.” Zuko’s voice is tight, controlled, but Katara can see stress in every line of his body.

“Your Majesty, this woman has hurt civilians.”

“The civilians hurt by the Fire Nation are beyond count. We should all pray that the other nations do not begin demanding justice for all of them.”

“The Fire Nation shall crumble from the inside at all these concessions!”

“The only reason for the Fire Nation to crumble from the inside is if there is a threat against Fire Lord Zuko,” Minister Nin’s voice is like steel. Her eyes bore into those of the other minister like she can pull out secrets by her very look. “Do you have any such information, Minister Okulun?”

“No, of course not,” his voice is sulky but he simmers down at the lack of support.

Yokao eyes him carefully for a long minute before he turns back to the Water Tribe delegation. “If you would accompany His Majesty to the main courtyard, Master Hama and Master Karri should be arriving with their escorts soon.”

As the small group files out of the room behind Zuko, Aang holds Katara’s arm to pull her back a little. “Katara, you knew about this plan, didn’t you?”

“Yes, Aang. Dad, Sokka and I spoke with Zuko about it.”

“But this is Hama! I’m worried about you. How can you be okay with this?”

“I’m not completely comfortable with it, no. But what happened to Hama was wrong! And I cannot leave her in a Fire Nation prison all her life. It’s not right.”

“I understand that she was wronged. And we should forgive her. But how do you feel about this? After what she did, are you really prepared for this?”

“Maybe I’m not ready to face her immediately. But I think it’ll be okay. Dad and Sokka have been very supportive. And I am looking forward to meeting Karri.”

He studies her in silence for a long long moment. “Okay. As long as you’re okay.”

***

It’s not exactly okay though when the carriages appear and Katara sets eyes on them. The drivers are Fire Nation but when the doors open, it is a pair of Water Tribe warriors who step down from each carriage. And following behind them are two old women.

Hama is thinner, her long grey hair more limp, her face more lined. But she holds herself straight with as much dignity as a queen. It is Karri, however, who makes her heart ache. Katara knows she was one of the youngest to be captured, she is younger than Hama and Gran-gran but she looks older. Her hair is white and lanky, her frame skeletal, her hands and arms knotted, sorrowful lines scored onto her brows and around the eyes.

They gaze around the square warily, postures stiffening at the sight of the Fire Nation diplomats. But even they are shocked when Zuko drops down to his knees before them, head bowed. Katara hears sharp gasps from his ministers, from the guards. But she cannot tear her eyes from him. She’s remembering his foolish foolish attempt to surrender himself to them at the Western Air Temple. She’s recalling his seemingly dispassionate account of his first Agni Kai. She’s standing in a green-lit cave as a figure in brown kneels in front of her.

“Master Hama, Master Karri. On behalf of my forefathers, my people and my nation, I apologise for the wrongs done to you and your people. I do not ask for forgiveness. Our crimes are not such as deserve it. But you have my deepest apologies for our crimes.”

Hama looks away, her face twisted in distaste. Karri studies him intently. When she speaks, her voice rasps and cracks like old ice, “You’re a child. You weren’t even born when we were taken.”

“It is my shame to bear. I shall not forget the wrongs that have been committed by my family.”

“I thank you for your apology,” Karri responds at last and only then does Zuko rise to his feet.

From the corner of her eyes, Katara can see his ministers stepping towards him to speak in hushed murmurs. But she is distracted, Hama having caught her eyes. The woman looks extremely uneasy at being here and supremely unimpressed by Zuko’s words. But she makes eye contact with Katara. And gives a slight inclination of the head.

Yes. Everything _will_ be okay. Eventually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not really too pleased with this chapter, but oh well (shrugs). Can you tell how much I hated what they did to Hama on the show? Here's some not-so-subtle salt, lol.


	4. Chapter 4

This is hardly Zuko’s first goodbye. But it is strange saying goodbye to his friends, knowing perfectly well that he will meet them again soon, that this is not final, not an end. They gather together on the docks, beside the two Water Tribe ships. Most of the fleet sailed back at the end of the war and now it is the turn of the Chief’s family and personal, most trusted retinue.

Hakoda stands nearby, conversing with Uncle and Master Piandao. Sokka and Suki are bidding goodbye to Toph and Aang is settling Appa on board. That leaves Katara to stand awkwardly in front of Zuko. He watches her hair flutter in the breeze, blowing into her eyes no matter how many times she thrusts it back with impatient hands. Her eyes linger on his face and her lips are pulled into a soft smile but he can see them tremble with the effort. Without thought, Zuko steps forward, pulling her into his arms, burying his face in her neck. He feels her sharp gasp ratchet through him. He has never before initiated contact.

“I’ll miss you, Katara.”

She melts into him. “I’ll miss you too.”

“Write me back?”

“You haven’t even written to me yet,” her tone is full of laughter.

“I will. Will you write back?”

“Always. Be careful, Zuko.” Her right hand rises to his face, cups it. An echo, of a sort, of an earlier touch. She remembers it too. Her eyelashes quiver as she gazes directly at him. He can see moisture gathering near the surface. “The war might be over but I know your position is not the most secure, no matter how much you and the adults try to hide it from us. Don’t do anything stupid. And stay close to Uncle Iroh and Toph, okay?”

“I know. I’ll be careful. Will you be okay? With Hama?”

“By all accounts, she has remained in her cabin and not spoken to anyone. Not even Karri. We’ll be okay, don’t worry. She might feel better once she gets home.” He smiles gently. Home doesn’t automatically make things better, he knows. Katara knows too but her ever-hopeful spirit is one of the things he values most about her. For her sake, he wishes them the healing and recovery at home that he had dreamed of for so long.

There is healing here now. The world is recovering and peace is inching back. It comes at the cost of sleepless nights and constant battles in the council room for him but he’ll take it. He’ll pay that price ten times over, a hundred times over.

He had made a promise to his people and the world in general. And he will keep it.

Katara hugs him again, tight, so tight, as if she could absorb him into her very bones, before stepping back. She bestows a hug on a not-as-reluctant-as-she-makes-it-out-to-be Toph, nods at everyone else gathered on the docks and climbs onto the ship behind the Chief. Aang appears on deck. He joins Katara, Suki and Sokka at the rails of the ship, looking down at the rest. They stand there as the ship sails away, as the sunlight limns them in gold, hands raised, eyes fixed on Zuko and Toph standing together on the docks.

Toph’s small hand slips into his. It is a comfort she has never sought before and he finds himself squeezing her hand in assurance. And then the two ships disappear into the gold heart of the afternoon sun, too bright even for a firebender to look at directly.

***

A week later finds Zuko standing on the docks once again. This time he is not seeing off friends, this time he is simply observing. This time he is dressed as inconspicuously as is appropriate for a Fire Lord, standing in a shadowy corner, just two guards at his back. He doesn’t want his presence to be noted, to detract from this moment.

Throngs of families crowd the area. Grey-haired couples, tiny children running to and fro, young boys and girls anxiously shifting from foot to foot. They are all waiting. Half their lives have been spent waiting, waiting for news from the frontlines; waiting for their children, their parents, their spouses; waiting for an end that it was forbidden to speak of. An end that has now arrived as the ships begin to arrive.

These are the youngest. The ones sent out when the conscription age changed to fourteen. The ones from the documents Zuko had been horrified to come across, with detailed descriptions of schoolchildren being practically ripped from their mother’s arms and armed for war. Ozai had apparently declared if his own son was old enough to be out at sea, so were the sons of other men. Zuko had barely restrained himself from setting the flimsy paper on fire.

They’re just children, he had thought on reading the reports, just children, like us. But now, he watches a tired looking boy being enfolded in his old father’s arms, a teenager dropping to her knees in front of a baby sister she’s never seen before she sailed to war, a woman raising hesitant hands towards the scars on her child’s face and neck. They’ll never be children again.

Peace is a little word. But it’s a reality forged in sweat and blood. It’s a long hard slog riddled with delicate situations, opposed by hardcore fanatics, put at risk by power hungry fools. When he accidentally eavesdrops on two men in the market lauding the good old days when rice from the colonies was cheaper and more plentiful, when his spy mistress brings him news of a munitions factory owner on a nearby island attempting to instigate a rebellion, when Toph’s uncanny senses save him from a group of assassins who have somehow managed to gain the Fire Lord’s highly secured bedroom, Zuko can feel his shoulders being almost physically weighed down by the burden.

Change is taking placing slowly, he knows. He sees it in the eyes of the people on the streets, not having to send their children to war. He notes it in the smiles of the healers back from the war, healing a scraped knee or a broken arm for a particularly active child and not the life-threatening injuries on the frontlines. He beholds it in the bright faces at the schools he has to fight his council to set up, so those who have only known how to handle weapons can learn to wield other tools.

Being Fire Lord is not unrewarding, exactly. Zuko would never say that. But it is exhausting. And he can admit, to himself if no one else, that nothing feels better than to put aside his worries at the end of the week and spend an hour reading Katara’s letters.

_Aang and I went penguin sledding. Sometimes I think I’m getting old, Zuko. But I didn’t feel that today. It was so freeing to let go of responsibility and do something crazy. I’m out of practice. I flew off the penguin and had to bend a snow mound to catch myself. But it felt good! I can’t wait for you to visit so the world can see the spectacle of the Fire Lord fall off a penguin._

Or, another week, _Sokka mended his own pants today. He can fight with multiple weapons, he’s redesigning our entire village, he’s corresponding with his girlfriend on an almost daily basis but it was this that almost sent Gran-gran into shock. He told her warriors needed to know how to take care of themselves. She hasn’t even recovered now, hours later._ That had elicited a rare laugh from Zuko.

Or in a more serious vein, _Karri has been teaching me the Southern waterbending style. We both cried when I mastered the first form. I had thought it was all lost, Zuko. My history, my culture, my people. But we’re still here. The war is over and we won and we’re going to rebuild and we’ll learn to be stronger than ever._ The emotion had been palpable in those written words.

He frowns down at the latest letter which he has just received. He can almost hear the anxiety in her tone leaping out at him. He doesn’t know who told her but he hates it, hates that she’s so worried. _Zuko, I heard you were sick and that they suspected it might have been another assassination attempt. What does that mean, another? Aang’s headed back to the Fire Nation and I wish I could come too. But winter has just ended here and my people need me. You promised me you’d be careful, Zuko. Please, please, don’t do anything stupid._

He doesn’t like to imagine her concerned over him, worrying about him. When he thinks of Katara, he visualises the girl lying in the grass, blue eyes shining bright with reflected starlight, loose curls streaming across the grass. “Did I ever tell you the story of Amka and her tiger-seal skin?” And when he shakes his head, “Once, many many years ago, on a sunny day...”

“They’re always all ‘many many years ago’. You can skip that bit...”

“Shhh. I’m the one telling this story. You can begin yours however you like. Once, many many years ago, on a sunny day, a young girl called Amka...”

Zuko’s not sure who told her about his suspected poisoning. It must have been either Uncle working by himself, or Toph working through Uncle. There’s no one else who would correspond with Katara and inform her of his illness. He wonders at Aang’s visit. The Avatar has been in the South Pole for over three months and mentions have been frequent in both Katara’s letters and Sokka’s brief missives. He’s glad to get to see Aang, of course, but he wonders that the boy has been able to tear himself from Katara’s side.

***

Uncle is waiting to have tea in his private office when he returns from the city. He carefully pours out a cup as Zuko sinks down on the cushions in exhaustion and snatches the Fire lord crown from his hair. It’s giving him a headache this afternoon.

“How is she?”

“She told me to get lost today. I abandoned her years ago so why would I care now?”

“At least she didn’t throw anything at you this time.”

“Uncle...is it terrible that I just want to give up? Every time I leave wondering why I bothered.”

“No, no Zuko. It’s not terrible. Azula has hurt you badly.”

“She always made me feel like I wasn’t good enough. Father mostly just ignored me, but Azula went out of her way to show that she was _better_. And now, I’m not good enough again.”

“Do you think, when the historians write about Fire Lord Zuko, who helped bring peace to the world, they’ll say he wasn’t good enough?” Iroh smiles in his direction.

Zuko goes pink. He is adjusting to his position but thinking of historians writing about him still makes him uncomfortable. “I...I wanted to say thank you, Uncle. For everything that you have done for me. For having saved me from myself.”

“No, nephew,” his face grows strangely grave. For once, Iroh looks older than he is. “Do not thank me. If I had realised certain things sooner, if I had not disappeared after Ba Sing Se...Zuko, it always pains me to think what I could have saved you and Azula if things had been different. I have made so many mistakes.”

Zuko is silent. For so many years, Uncle has been the wise and dependable voice in his ear. At times, it is difficult to remember Iroh’s past, where he laid siege to Ba Sing Se and might have conquered it had Lu Ten not fallen. He’s used to thinking on his own mistakes, his own crimes, but for the first time he thinks of Iroh’s. An adult, beloved elder son, conqueror.

Ashmaker, Katara had once said firebenders were called by her people. She hadn’t been trying to hurt him, he knows. She’d been narrating a story and he’d asked. It’s true, he thinks. None of our hands are clean.

“We’re making up for our mistakes now, Uncle,” he ventures softly.

“Yes, we are. We have the rest of our lives to do it.”

For a few moments they say nothing else, sipping tea, contemplating past and future. Then Zuko takes out a sheet of paper from his pocket and catches Uncle grinning at him. “Is that from Master Katara then?”

Zuko can feel his cheeks heat up again. “No,” he splutters. “It’s from Mai.”

“Ahhh. And how is Miss Mai enjoying her visit to Kyoshi Island?”

“She only says it’s less boring than helping her parents settle back into Caldera would have been. Which I suppose is high praise from Mai.”

“She’s enjoying the rebuilding?”

Zuko ducks his head at the reminder of why Kyoshi would need rebuilding at all and his answer is no more than a murmur when he says, “I’m not sure Mai enjoys anything really.”

He's thankful when Uncle diplomatically changes the subject.

***

Aang, Appa and Momo arrive in the midst of a sudden thunderstorm, with the lemur cowering in fear on the monk’s shoulder. He leaps into Uncle’s arms as soon as he spots him and Appa grumbles affectionately at the two children. Aang flies at his friends to hug them, completely unmindful of his wet clothes and even Toph hugs him back, despite her loud grumbles.

The next four weeks are the happiest that Zuko has been since the summer, even though half their group is missing. Toph is almost always underfoot, of course, complaining about the humidity, playing Pai Sho with Uncle, scaring his ministers half to death with impromptu bending displays, bossing his staff and guards around, trying to protect him from even the terrors of his own mind to the best of her abilities. But she cannot make up for the whole group and he cannot fill that gap for her either. Now, with Aang and Appa and Momo, they roam the markets every minute of Zuko’s free time, visit the forests on one of the smaller islands so Aang can see the elusive fox-leopard cubs, even fly to Ember Island for a few days where she and Aang sandbend the Fire Nation archipelago on the beach.

When Aang announces that he wishes to move on to Omashu to visit Bumi, Toph approaches Zuko.

“I was hoping to catch a ride with Aang to Gaoling. I haven’t seen my parents in a while and I thought I should visit and explain to them that I’m okay. I mean, yeah sure, Mother writes sometimes. But Father should also know I’m not a baby anymore and that I’m doing very well,” Her voice is too casual, the words too throwaway to not mean a lot.

“Toph, that’s great. I’m sure they’ll be glad to see you.”

“You’ll be okay, right? I’ll be mad if you get yourself killed when I’m not around.”

“Toph, you aren’t my bodyguard. And I _can_ take care of myself. I’m not totally incompetent.”

“Not totally, maybe.”

“Toph...”

She flings herself onto his chest, throwing her arms around him and squeezing perhaps a bit too tight. “Whatever. I’ll be back soon, okay?”

“Yes,” he whispers into the top of her head. Toph is still so little. It’s easy to forget sometimes with her bigger than life personality. But she barely reaches the middle of his chest and her weight in his arms is so slight. “I’ll be waiting.”

“Okay. Take care of Gramps. And tell him to practice his Pai Sho so he doesn’t lose next time.”

“You cheat.”

“You cheat too! You cheat the blind girl, so it’s ten times worse.”

Zuko is still smiling when the two of them fly away an hour later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realised quite late into the whole story that if I was basing the world-building even slightly on the geography of our own planet, the Fire Nation and the Southern Water Tribe could not possibly have the same seasons at the same time. I hope I didn't mess up. Geography wasn't my strongest subject and the whole revolution-rotation stuff as it might apply to a world that looks really tiny compared to Earth confused me. Oh well!


	5. Chapter 5

It takes them a few weeks to reach home, with the added stop at Kyoshi. When Katara sees the white masses of icebergs finally rise in the distance, something in her chest settles. Even Sokka perks up and he has been quite morose in the days since his leave taking of Suki. All around her, she can see the anticipation on the faces of the warriors. The feeling of _home_ that they have not experienced in too long.

“I never thought I would set eyes on this again,” Karri’s voice still creaks like aged wood when she talks. Katara has come to realise that this is part of her now, it won’t go away. “I never thought I’d feel the cold again.”

Katara knows she will never understand what this moment means to Karri and Hama but there had been moments that she had thought the same. And now, being so close to home, to the South Pole and Gran-gran, she can feel her smile stretching across her face almost painfully. As Gran-Pakku comes to stand next to her at the rails, an elusive smile on his own face, the realisation settles across her soul that her constant refrain of everything being okay might actually come true.

The South Pole looks different from the last time she saw it. Instead of Sokka’s broken down wall, a big wall, clearly made via waterbending, surrounds the village. The igloos and tents are also more numerous but Katara is glad to see it’s not an exact copy of the Northern Water Tribe.

Sokka seems to wilt in disappointment. “They’ve already started rebuilding, huh? I guess it’s pretty convenient having waterbenders around.”

She gives him an affectionate Toph-like punch on the arm. “Look, they haven’t made a watchtower yet. And I saw your plans for the central council hall. And the harbour. And a trader’s market. You’re the plan guy. Now you’ll have several waterbenders at your beck and call executing your plans just how you want them.”

“Including you?”

“No, not including me. I’m going to build myself my own room, just as I want it, so I don’t have to listen to you snore anymore. I’ve become spoilt now.”

She ignores his indignant “hey!” with a laugh and makes her way towards the ramp leading down to the ice shelf.

Yes, she’s home.

***

There is a grand feast that’s been prepared for all the heroes returning home after so long. She knows they’ve all heard of their adventures but it’s rather shocking to be considered a hero here, in her own home. It’s not at all the same feeling as when people recognised her in the markets of Caldera City or when adult delegates from all over the world stopped to listen when she spoke up in meetings. This is her village, this is where she was born, where everyone has seen her fall into the sea while ice-fishing with her father. To be treated like a hero, to be viewed differently here, of all places, makes her uncomfortable. And she can see the same in Sokka’s face.

There’s sea prune stew and smoked fish, soup made with kelp and salted meat and Kallik’s special wine made with ice berries. Sokka and Katara have never been allowed to taste it before but now, no one demurs, not even Gran-gran. We aren’t children anymore, not even in Gran-gran’s eyes, Katara realises. And the wine sticks in her throat instead of going down smoothly.

Aang is seated beside her, eating a small bowl of berries and rice and sipping meatless soup, looking strangely contemplative. He’s not paying much attention to the goings-on around him but for once, it doesn’t look like he is daydreaming.

“Are you okay, Aang?”

“Yes Katara,” he gives her that wide smile she loves. She’s not entirely sure how Aang manages to be so carefree and at ease, how none of the darkness they have seen manages to leave any sort of mark on him, but she is so glad for him. “I’m just thinking how everything started here.”

“Yeah! Remember meeting jerkbender for the first time? Who would have thought that dumbass would end up where he did?”

“Let’s not be mean about Zuko when he’s not around to defend himself,” laughs Katara. But she cannot help wishing that he was around. The truth is she misses him and he hasn’t been out of her thoughts for long since they sailed away. There’s a letter tucked away in the pocket of her parka that had been waiting for her when she got home. Gran-gran had handed it over with raised brows and informed her it had reached a couple of days ago.

“I miss Toph and Zuko and Suki,” Aang sighs. “But it’s nice to be just us once again too.”

“Original Team Avatar!” Sokka grins.

“Original Team Avatar,” Katara smiles.

***

“Good, Katara!” Karri cries and Katara finally drops her arms, feeling them ache from the continued bending. She can see Hama standing in one corner. The woman has been coming to watch for the last few weeks and will, at times, call out a correction or two. But she never takes the lead on the lessons. She never allows Katara to speak to her either. And now, she turns and walks away as soon as she meets Katara’s eyes.

“She’s angry with me. She thinks I betrayed her.”

“She was in the wrong. You were dependent on her and she took advantage of that. She will get over it. It’s not you, so much. She just hates the Fire Nation.”

“Don’t you?”

“Yes, I do. I don’t know what I would have done if I had been in Hama’s place, if I had gotten free and thought I was the only one, unable to return home, unable to be free of the people who caught me and tortured me and wronged me.”

“And now?”

“Now, the war is over. I hate the Fire Nation. But none of us want the war to continue. We can only hope that you children are strong enough to see this through. And that your young Fire Lord remembers his promise to never forget his nation’s wrongs.”

“Zuko will. He never backs down when he is determined about something. He’ll kill himself redeeming his nation if he has to.”

“He will, will he?” There’s something strange in Karri’s voice, the older waterbender casts a quick glance in her direction. “Well, let’s hope it doesn’t come to that. He won’t be very useful in that case. Now, that second form was sloppy. Let’s try it again.”

“Do you know how she got free? What she taught me?”

Karri sighs. Evidently, the lesson is over. Gingerly, she lowers herself to sit on a bench at the edge of the training grounds. “Yes, she told me. Bloodbending...I know it’s something nobody has practiced as a discipline in many years. But when I was young, I remember my Masters telling me that it was a technique that used to be used in healing, many generations ago. It gradually came to be frowned upon in later years as people began to misuse it.”

“But it’s wrong! It allows a person no control over their own body!”

“Any of the four elements can be used to kill a person from the inside out if the bender is skilled and advanced enough.”

“You don’t know what I did! I’ve used it one other time. I used it to hurt an innocent...okay, he wasn’t innocent exactly. But he wasn’t guilty of what I accused him either.”

“Katara, I’m sorry that you had to learn the technique in that manner. You never need to use it if you don’t want to. You don’t have to forgive Hama for forcing you into that position.” Katara winces as Karri breaks off into a long fit of coughing. When she resumes, her voice is rougher, more scratchy. “We don’t even need to talk about this again. I just thought you should know that historically, it was used to save lives, not take them.”

Katara lets out a slow breath. Her entire body itches, thinking about the idea of bloodbending. It’s not that she doesn’t understand Karri’s words, she can even see how useful the technique would be medically. But the concept brings with it memories she does not want to dwell on, a darkness within herself she knows people don’t like to see. And she can’t continue this conversation at this moment.

“Master Karri, forgive me, but can we cut this session short? I need to think about everything.”

“Yes, of course Katara. You have been doing very well. You’ll master our style soon enough.”

“Thank you, Sifu.” This, at least, is an accomplishment that she has no mixed feelings about.

***

There is a strange uncertainty lurking in the few feet between them. This is Aang, her best friend Aang. They’ve never had trouble talking before. But she knows that he has brought her out here, far from the village, to speak on matters she has no answers to.

Aang shuffles his feet. “Katara, I think the time has come for me to leave. I’ve been in the South Pole for too long already and I’m the Avatar. I have to...I’m needed everywhere. I have duties to complete.”

“I’ll...I’ll miss you, Aang. But I know you’re right.”

His face falls. He quickly turns his eyes away from her but she knows they hold the slightest shimmer of tears. “Then...then you won’t come with me?”

“Come with you...to the Fire Nation?”

“No. Well, yes. But everywhere else too. The Earth Kingdom and the North Pole and I wanted to visit the Air Temples as well...”

“Aang...” She hates this, hates hurting him, hates that he will leave alone. “I can’t. Summer is really important here to get all the work done and we still need to complete all the houses. My people need me. I’m learning the Southern Water Tribe style of waterbending and Karri...Karri won’t be around forever,” her voice hitches.

“And there’s Tanaraq,” he nods sadly.

“Yes.” Five year old Tanaraq who had accidently bent her first bubble just weeks ago and caused celebrations that continued for days. Tanaraq who needs Katara like she herself had needed a Master. And that too, he had been the one to help her find. “I’m sorry, Aang.”

“But Katara, I...I love you. I’ve loved you since I met you. I thought once the war was over...”

She doesn’t know what to say to this. Does she say sorry again? I’m sorry I can’t feel the same way? I’m sorry you love me? I’m sorry this won’t work the way you want it to? “Aang, you’re one of my best friends. You’re so important to me. But...”

“But you don’t love me,” his voice trembles.

“I can’t. Not the way you want me to.” And again, “I’m sorry.”

She watches his thin shoulders rise and fall as he heaves a deep breath. He’s of a height with her now, no longer the little boy she had burst out of an iceberg. Not really, not even in his most light-hearted moments. War has changed even the most resilient amongst them. For a long while they stand together in silence. The conversation is not over and neither of them can just walk away from it but it’s hard to find words to break the silence.

She watches him straighten and gather himself together.

“I’ve been thinking. The airbenders...they were nomads. Many lived in the Temples, yes. But not all of them. Do you think any of them could have survived? That they could be hidden away in the Earth Kingdom or the Fire Nation somewhere?”

“It’s possible. Aang, I believed in you long before I found you. And look at what we’ve all done! I don’t think it’s impossible.”

“I don’t want to be the last one. You know what it’s like being the last of anything.”

“I know, yes.”

“But you aren’t anymore.”

“No.” It’s almost a whisper.

“Then...” he tilts his head to the side, looks at her out of the corner of his eyes. There’s pain there but when he smiles, it’s almost normal Aang, the boy she knows and loves. “Then I have to do this. It’s my duty as an airbender as well as an Avatar. Wish me luck?”

“Oh Aang,” she embraces him tightly. “I wish you all the luck. And I’ll hold on to faith for you, that you’ll find them.”

***

The next day, he bids goodbye to the Tribe. Aang was correct after all. He belongs to the world, not just their Tribe. She thinks it’s the scare of Zuko’s near-poisoning that has jolted him into visiting the Fire Nation. As it is, after so long—a year almost—their paths lead in different directions. And strangely, it hurts much less than she had thought it would. She knows she’ll miss him, like she misses Toph and Zuko and Suki, but it isn’t the ache she had thought it would be.

So while they are a little awkward in their goodbyes, internally she is at peace with her decision as she bids him to travel safely and give her love to the others.

“I’ll try to make sure everything is going well in the Fire Nation,” Aang attempts to reassure them. “Zuko must be facing some difficulties but the presence and support of the Avatar should have positive effects.”

Sokka nods grimly. Katara knows Toph’s casual words in Iroh’s hand had shaken them all. The Fire Nation seems so distant here in the South Pole, their minds so focused on growth and the future that the war has already begun to seem distant. It is strange to think that it is still in the forefront of some minds, to the point that the death of the young Fire Lord is an acceptable prospect, even a desirable one.

He’s never mentioned anything, of course. Zuko’s letters are full of little anecdotes about the ordinary people, descriptions of council meetings and Toph’s antics, infrequently peppered through with his reflections on Azula’s health and memories of his mother. One week he’d written, _the arts and crafts market seems to be gaining steam. Most of my life, clothes and accessories in the Fire Nation have been utilitarian. Apart from very rare occasions, even the nobility did not indulge in elaborate or expensive fashion. There were hardly any artisans to craft them, no time to make them, no inclination to spend money on them. But I saw a lot of painted silks in the market yesterday. They’re far from perfect, nothing like the beadwork of your people that you showed me, but at least creativity is not being stifled anymore. It was such a little thing, Katara. I don’t think I should be this proud._

Or there was the hesitant, _I know you always laughed at the dessert names of the turtleducklings but I think there’s going to be another brood and Toph suggested tea. It was a joke, of course, but don’t you think Uncle would like that?_

She loves hearing all of it, faithfully writes back every week. Her letters to Zuko have become her way of setting things straight within her own mind, wrapping every part of the week into a neat package, her venting point for the innermost thoughts and desires of her heart.

She wonders why he shares everything with her but cannot manage to inform her, just once, that apparently he has been the victim of more than one assassination attempt.

And at the end of the winter, as she receives just one line, _I may finally have news regarding my mother but uncle is right and I can’t run off alone to investigate it_ , she wonders why he doesn’t ask the question that obviously lingers just underneath but he refused to put into words.


	6. Chapter 6

Winter is just fading into spring but in the Fire Nation there is a balmy calmness to the day. The weather has been a little warm for the time of year these past few weeks and Zuko feels pleasantly drowsy. It’s been quite a short day by the Fire Lord’s standards and the early evening breeze on his skin combines with sleepless nights to almost send him off to slumber. He knows he shouldn’t be sleeping out here on the grass, he knows his Head-of-Staff will be scandalised, he knows Uncle and Toph will meet for dinner soon and wonder where he is. But it’s impossible to drag himself up.

He wakes up what feels like moments later to fingers in his hair. Katara is gazing down at him.

Zuko sits up in a hurry and watches her reach up to pick cherry blossoms from the dark strands. Like she shouldn’t be halfway across the world, like she never left, like she’s always been by his side doing mundane things like plucking petals from his hair and laughing at him. It’s grown longer over the past few months—he keeps meaning to cut it but hasn’t gotten to it yet—and is still tied up with his Fire Lord crown. So, the petals are well and truly tangled.

She grins, “An entire palace and you’re out here sleeping under a tree?”

Zuko would have believed he was dreaming but he can feel her hands brush his face, his scarred cheek. His guards are eyeing the waterbender with some hesitation. Not a dream then. He’s not entirely sure what’s going on.

“Katara?” Sleep has made his rasp even more pronounced. He needs to swallow so his voice doesn’t crack. It’s suddenly very dry and he would really like some water. An irony that he is sure the world has set up as a joke at his expense. “What...what are you doing here?”

“I thought you needed me so I came at once.”

“Needed you...?”

“Yes, your last letter...you mentioned...” Suddenly, she looks very uncertain, “I assumed you told me about your mother because...I mean, we’re friends and...Should I not have come?”

“No! No, I’m so glad to see you, Katara,” he scrambles to his knees and grips her hands as tightly as he dares. Anything to banish that look from her face. He knows so well what it is like to be unsure of your position and it's not something he _ever w_ ants Katara to feel as regards him. “When I sent that letter, maybe subconsciously I was hoping you would come. You’re my best friend and I wouldn’t want anyone else at my side. But realistically, I knew you’d be busy.”

“Never too busy for this,” her voice is firm. “When I needed closure for my mother you were there beside me. I would never, _never_ , leave you alone while you needed me. You need to go after her and you can’t go alone. Of course I’ll be there.”

For a minute, he cannot reply, overwhelmed by her sincerity, her earnest eyes, the fondness in her voice. Then, he moves forward and enfolds her in his arms. Zuko’s never been good with words and this, the language of touch, does not come easily to him either. But with her, it’s the simplest thing in the world, the most _natural_ thing in the world, to hold her tight and bury his face in her hair. The scent of salt and sea breeze surrounds him.

“Thank you.” Two little words, warm, heartfelt, a truth. They’re not enough, not really. But as Katara’s arms tighten around them, they suddenly are. She understands. There’s nothing more to be said.

***

Katara, it turns out, had not informed anyone of her coming. Toph and Uncle are as surprised as he was, although it takes them much less time to recover. Zuko even thinks he hears Uncle murmur to himself that he should have expected it.

“When did you return from Gaoling, Toph?” They are all seated around the table and Katara is eagerly devouring gyoza like they might go out of fashion.

“About the middle of the winter. The longer I stayed the more intolerable they started to get, so I came back. At least Sparky and Gramps never fuss over me. You want to slow down before you choke, Sugar Queen? I thought you were the lady.”

Katara blushes. “Sorry. I bent continuously the last few miles and I’m hungry.”

“Where’s Snoozles then? I’m surprised he let you come alone.”

“He came part of the way. He’s in Kyoshi with Suki. You guys are fortunate you didn’t have to see their reunion. It was so sweet it almost made _me_ sick. Where’s Aang? I thought he said he’d come back to the Fire Nation after the North Pole.”

“He apparently got distracted,” Zuko pushes a bowl of kumquats in her direction and smiles as she beams at him. “He stopped at the Northern Air Temple and the Mechanist offered to make him ‘a new and improved glider’. Then he heard some rumours from the northern Earth Kingdom and went off there.”

“Rumours of what?”

“He didn’t say,” Toph chimes in. “But since he’s looking for news of airbenders, maybe it has something to do with that. So, Sugar Queen, what are you doing here?”

“Am I forbidden from visiting?”

“Noooo," Toph draws the word out. "But you always seem to have so much going on. I thought winter in the South Pole was just beginning. And don’t you have a student now? Did you just miss me and Zuko so much you couldn’t control yourself?”

“Hardly my student,” Katara replies, smoothly ignoring the last bit. “I’m just helping her, Masters Karri and Hama are her teachers. And I’ve mastered the Southern style of waterbending,” she grins. “So, I thought I’d come up while my brother and Suki fall all over each other.”

“Katara, that’s amazing! Congratulations.”

“That is very good news indeed, Master Katara. I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks Zuko,” she smiles at him softly. “Thank you, Uncle.”

“Yeah, yeah. But...”

“Toph, finish eating your food. And don’t bother her,” Zuko cuts in sternly.

“Okay dad,” comes the reluctant little mutter. But at least Toph doesn’t dig any further.

***

“So, this is Ginseng, that’s Jasmine and Ginger and Moringa. And the small one there is Chrysanthemum.” He picks Ginseng up and hands the turtleduck to her. Her face when she holds the fluffy little creature is _enchanted_ and he wishes she could have seen them when they had just hatched. He watches her stroke the soft fuzz on the turtleduck’s body and gently tap her fingers on its shell. There’s tenderness in every movement, every look.

“You really did name them all after tea,” her tone hovers somewhere between wonder and amusement and when she looks up at him, the expression in her eyes is the same as it was with the turtleducks. “Poor things. You shouldn’t be allowed to name anything!”

“Well, Uncle was happy.” He knows how defensive he sounds, he does! He can feel his hand reaching up to rub the back of his neck. It’s a habit he has struggled to break as Fire Lord but it creeps back in as soon as he is among friends, as soon as he is back to being Zuko.

She kneels down, sets Ginseng down by the water’s edge, looks up at him. It always surprises him how warm icy blue eyes can be. “I missed this.”

“I missed it too,” it’s barely a whisper. He settles beside her, a familiar place, almost like being welcomed home.

***

“This isn’t like any Fire Nation ship I’ve ever seen.”

“I know.” There’s pride in his voice. “Sokka and I came up with it.”

“Oh,” There’s considerably more wariness in her features as she studies the small cruiser.

Zuko’s ragged old wani would have dwarfed it. There’s only one little cabin attached to the wheelhouse and even though the engine room takes up most of the underbelly of the ship, it’s a very small engine. “We won’t sink, will we?”

“No!” He winces. A little too indignant. “No, it’s just a smaller, more streamlined version. It’s actually based on some of the Water Tribe sailing ships. I wanted something small for speedy travel. Sokka helped me figure out how the engine could be made smaller but more powerful. He sent me a lot of blueprints. I didn’t understand them, of course, but our engineers said they were genius. And I’m insulted that you think I’d load you on a ship that is likely to sink.”

“Hmmm, well...what is it used for normally?”

“Oh, for travelling around the islands or to the nearest Earth Kingdom shores. At the moment, it’s Lian’s scouts who use them most regularly. I have, a couple of times, when I need to visit the other islands or villages. Some of the officials, though they aren’t big or grand enough for most of them. At any rate, what’s important is it’s perfect for us.”

“But you said we have to sail around to the eastern-most part of the Earth Kingdom. Will there be enough provisions for that?”

“We’ll be able to carry quite a bit since it’ll be just us and this ship is equipped for fifteen. Also, we can pick up fuel later.”

Katara frowns, “I thought we weren’t supposed to announce your presence? How are we going to walk around shopping for provisions?”

“Katara, I’ll be keeping a low profile! And I very much doubt anyone in the Earth Kingdom villages knows what I look like without my robes and crown.”

“Alright, alright. Does your uncle know?”

“Yes,” Zuko sighs and fiddles with his topknot. “He doesn’t like it. But he feels better that you’ll be there.”

“I’m happy to be there for you, Zuko.” Then she snickers. “Although I wouldn’t say I’m the best person to keep you out of trouble.”

“No,” he finds himself giving her a rare grin. “But at least we can always _get out_ of trouble together.”

***

The goodbyes aren’t easy. It’s a relatively straightforward journey and they’ve faced much worse. But still, Uncle’s eyes get shiny as he hugs Zuko, too tight, just a little too tight. Toph is indignant and sulky at being left behind. Since she finally learned the purpose of Katara’s visit, she’s reminded him a dozen times that they’ve never had their life-changing trip and it’s just not fair. When Zuko reminds her of their journey to the outer islands to take down a conspiracy of Azula sympathists, she scowls and slams the door in his face, raises an earth wall through the floor to barricade the door and refuses to come out of her room. Katara calls her a brat and mutters angrily under her breath. Zuko feels bad but Toph is thirteen. And she’s been in enough danger already. He isn’t going to take her on a trip riddled with uncertainty.

But the worst is Azula. Today, she is almost the old Azula, the one in control, the one he remembers. When he informs her that he won’t be able to visit for some time since he’s going to look for Mother, she looks him straight in the eyes for the first time in months.

“What makes you think she wants to be found, Zuzu? She walked away years ago and never looked back at us.”

He grits his teeth, “She had to go. She was forced to. And she couldn’t take us because Father wouldn’t allow it.”

“If you say so. Go get your mother. She only cared about you anyway. She always thought I was a monster.”

“Azula...”

Her face swings around to one corner of the room. The fractured look is back in her eyes. “Why do you need to look for Mother? She’s right there. And she won’t go away no matter how much I scream at her.”

For the first time he wonders if finding Mum might be too late for Azula. If even Ursa will be able to reach out to her and help her. If staying by Father’s side has done her irreparable damage. In his mind’s eye, he sees baby Lala, trying to climb the mango tree with him, Zuzu help me! His heart breaks for her all over again.

When he steps out of the hospital, Katara is waiting outside. Her face brightens at sight of him and she holds out her hand, “Ready?”

He thinks of Azula’s pain, the shadowy form of his mother standing beside him as he hovers between waking and sleeping, his fever dreams where she seemed to be crying out for help. He gathers his courage, steps forward and takes her hand in his. “Ready.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Needless to say, this isn't going to follow the Avatar comics canon as far as the looking for Ursa storyline is concerned.


	7. Chapter 7

Whatever might have happened in Azula’s room, as they work together to ready the little ship and sail out of the dock, Zuko seems composed and peaceful. Katara stands at the rails and watches the capital city fall away. She’d only sailed in two days ago and it feels like less. On a ship with Zuko after having been apart for eight months, departing on a journey to spirits knew where, this seems quite quite surreal.

Zuko appears beside her. In his hand is his dagger from his uncle without which he never goes anywhere. With a cool nonchalance, he grabs a large hank of long hair and proceeds to hack it off, dropping it in the water. Katara watches with wide eyes until his hair lies in ragged strands to just above his shoulders. He looks like the Zuko that met them at the Western Air Temple now. In the nondescript dark tunic and the loose hair, he looks much more like the banished prince than the powerful Fire Lord.

“I thought long hair was a sign of honour in the Fire Nation.”

“It is. It also makes me look too much like Ozai. I wanted to do that for a while so I could begin looking in a mirror again. I’m glad for the excuse.” She turns her head and looks at him carefully. His scarred side is turned toward her. She, of course, never sees Ozai when she looks at Zuko. She’d only had a brief glimpse of the man when Aang had brought him back and Zuko has been an intrinsic part of her life for the past year and a half. But she can understand not wanting to look like a copy of someone. She sometimes glimpses a look of pain in her father’s eyes when he catches sight of her suddenly. She knows what he sees.

“It’s a little uneven at the back. Do you want me to help?”

Zuko hesitates, gripping his knife tightly. “You sure you won’t slit my throat?”

Katara huffs. “Give it to me!” It is a little harder than it had looked. A pair of shears would make this much simpler because the dagger is too smooth and sharp and it slips. But carefully, she manages a decent enough job. It’s still a little uneven but at least he doesn’t look lopsided.

“Long hair is a sign of bravery and honour among my people as well,” she finds herself stating, lightly combing her fingers through the strands. “It’s why the warriors wear their wolftails. And my dad his double braids, to symbolise his place as chief.”

“Why does Sokka shave the sides of his head? I’ve noticed the other warriors don’t do that.”

She snorts, “Sokka enjoys standing out. Some of the younger boys have begun to copy him now and he is _so smug_! Why did you shave yours?”

He ducks his head, looks away. “I thought it was an appropriate mark of my dishonour. The healers shaved it to treat my wound at first and then I was too stubborn to grow it back.” He sighs, “I was stupid back then.”

Katara slowly leans against his shoulder. She can feel him tense up momentarily but then he slips an arm around her shoulder and pulls her in, eyes fixed on the rapidly disappearing island. “You were a child. And your father was a jerk.”

His lips quirk. “I know.” After a while, he ventures, “What about the women in your Tribe? Do they all wear their hair as long as yours?”

“Most of them, yes. And the braiding and beads are considered very important. Remember I told you about my Gran-gran combing my hair? That’s an important part of the long winter days in the dark. We sit by the fires and tell stories and mothers and grandmothers will help the young girls with their hair and other things. It’s where I learned to sew and to do the beadwork of my people. How to read and write too.”

“What about Sokka and your dad? What did they do?”

“Well, dad tried to teach Sokka ivory carving. But he left when we were very young and Sokka never really got very good at it.”

“I really like your hair.” He drops his arm from around her to rub the back of his neck. She can see his unscarred cheek turning pink. “It..it’s very pretty, I mean.”

“Thanks Zuko. You are too...um, I mean, you look nice. Better! Better like this. Without that dumb haircut.” her cheeks burn and it’s impossible to look him in the eyes.

“Uh, thanks...umm...,” he looks around the deck, fiddles with the knife in his hand, glances at the stairs leading below. “I should go check on the engine. And the co-ordinates. Make sure everything is okay...yeah...”

She doesn’t, _doesn't,_ turn to look at him as he hurries away.

***

They sit on the deck with bowls of rice and meat lying in front of them. Now that the soft whirring of the engine has ended and the boat lies still, Katara can hear the total silence of the night. It’s not something she has encountered much. During their travels, there were always people around. Not to mention two animals. And even at the South Pole, with people always living in close proximity to each other, total silence isn’t a common phenomenon. But out here, in the middle of the ocean, with just her and Zuko, the night feels hushed, inviting them to whisper secrets.

“Are we headed south?”

“South-east really. We’ll sail along the tail of the Fire Nation islands and then head along the Earth Kingdom coast.”

“And you said the rumours came from the southern and easternmost parts of the Earth Kingdom?”

“Very near to Gaoling actually.” He sighs, “As far away from my father as she could go.”

After a few minutes, Katara contributes slowly, “It’s funny that the Fire Nation has a tail”.

Zuko blinks. “What’s funny about it?”

“Well, don’t you think the Fire Nation looks like a plume of smoke?”

Zuko tilts his head and appears to think about this. “I always thought it looked kind of like a serpentsnail.”

“What? No! You’re terrible at this.”

He laughs. “Terrible at what? What is this exactly?”

“Mapping stars, islands, whatever. Didn’t you play it as a child? Finding designs in the stars.”

“Not really, I didn't have anyone to play with. Azula would much rather burn things down." Before Katara can properly register this disturbing piece of information, he continues. "Did you just compare the Fire Nation islands to stars?”

“They kind of are,” she insists. “They’re very hot, there’s so many of them even you don’t know the exact number, and they come together to make shapes.”

“Yes, a serpentsnail.”

“Pfft, no! It’s a plume of smoke, I’m telling you. Now look at those seven stars over there. What do they form?”

"Isn't that the Archer?"

"Well technically, yes. But it's never looked much like a human to me so I don't understand that name. What do you think?"

“Looks like a blob of ink to me,” he replies, squinting in the direction she pointed.

“That’s not even an answer! You aren’t even trying!”

“Okay, okay. How about...how about one of Suki’s fans?”

“Really? It looks like a rabbit-gull to me!”

“What? _How_? Where are the wings?”

“See, look at the fluffy tail? And those two on that side and the one there? Those are the wings.”

“Yeah, those are the stubbiest wings I’ve ever seen. No way would that rabbit-gull be able to fly.”

“Don’t be such a jerk! How about those ones?”

“An air balloon?”

“It’s _clearly_ a teapot. Over there?”

“Oh, that’s Momo’s head and ears.”

“Yeah, you’re right about that one.”

They lie side by side under the stars. Sometimes, there’s a soft whoosh when a particularly strong breeze ripples over the water. It should be chilly but Zuko being nearby keeps her warm enough that her heavy tunic is enough. The deck of the ship wouldn't normally be the most comfortable bed but the blankets Zuko had spread out before they sat down to eat makes it far from the least comfortable resting spot she has ever had. And she feels warm and drowsy and it's impossible to even contemplate moving.

“I’ll go wash up. You should rest. Take the cabin.”

“What about you?” She frowns. The hold hadn’t looked very cosy. “Where will you stay?”

“I thought I’d stay here. It’s warm enough, with the blankets. And it’s a fine night.”

“I want to stay as well. It’s stuffy in the cabin.”

He turns his head towards her, the warm golden eyes barely inches away from her face. She hadn’t realised they’d gotten so close. When he exhales, she can feel the warm breath against her forehead.

“Okay. We’ll stay here.”

***

By the time they reach the village of Hiyika, a week and a half later, the two of them have found a comfortable rhythm. Before Katara wakes up, Zuko, who has been up for hours, has done his firebending exercises, checked the engine and everything on board and finished making breakfast. It never ceases to amuse Katara that the Fire Lord makes a quite edible bowl of rice and beans, a fact that would no doubt scandalise most of his nobles. Zuko is very good at overcooking and burning the meat, however, so that is Katara’s province. They sail all day, taking turns at steering. At times, they glimpse a ship or two in the distance but true to Zuko’s promises, no one hails the small cruiser. They always drop anchor at night even though they could keep going and steering by the stars. Katara gets the feeling Zuko is in no hurry to complete this journey. His mother, the cause of this trip, is one topic they have not spoken about yet.

They stop at Hiyika to replenish their coal reserves. Katara laughs at Zuko as he dons an old black cloak and shakes his hair around his face as a disguise.

“You know, the dao swords don’t exactly scream inconspicuous.”

“A lot of travellers carry weapons, Katara. It’s not always safe.”

“Well, what about the cruiser,” she looks around. “It’s pretty evident that it’s some top of the line thing from the capital.”

“Let’s hope the villagers think I’m an eccentric nobleman travelling without an escort then. It’s very unlikely they’d recognise me. I’ve been touring around a bit but I’ve never been to this island.”

“There’s no naval base here?”

“No, the closest is a small one on an island a few miles to the south.”

“If you’re the eccentric nobleman, what am I?”

“Uhhh...I didn’t think about that. Let’s just not say anything. Fire Nation people don’t ask too many questions if you don’t bother them.”

“Okay, if you say so. We’ll just mind our own business and hope they mind theirs.”

***

Of course, it’s never really that easy. Zuko’s eyes blow wide open at the amount the old man quotes for the coal. “But there’s a mine on this island! It’s quite near here, if I’m not mistaken. Those prices are exorbitant!”

The seller squints at the hooded young man and then at Katara. Katara tries not to hunch in on herself. It won’t be of any use anyway. There’s no way he knows who she is. “Those are the prices.”

“But...”

“Look, young man, that’s the price after those thugs are done with their job. There’s no use arguing with me, it’ll be the same with anyone else. Take it or leave it.”

“What thugs?” Katara’s eyes narrow.

“They’re his workmen, supposedly.” The man jerks his head in the direction of a big house halfway up the hill. “General Shen. He owns most of the land around here. Takes most of the coal too. They’re all thugs really. We sell whatever is left.”

“And how much is that?” Zuko’s voice is whip-sharp.

“Not very much. This used to be a busy port even if Hiyika isn’t very big. Then recently, another market opened up on the southern tip of the island and we didn’t have much coal going around anymore. Most of us have had to sell up and leave.”

“And General Shen is behind it presumably,” Katara chimes in grimly.

The old man’s eyes flick behind her. Katara glances around quickly and watches as two men stride past. They’re big-built and muscled, almost as much as Toph’s Earth Rumble friends. ‘Thug’ really is the right word. They all watch as the two head towards the bar.

“How much will it please you to buy, young miss? Young master?”

Zuko is very quiet on the way back to the ship. Katara waits until they have stowed everything on board and chugged out of dock to say anything.

“Well, what are you planning?”

He flushes. “How do you know I’m planning anything?”

“Well, for one, you just gave yourself away. But other than that, I know you Zuko. These are your people. And they’re being exploited. Of course you’re planning something! And don’t you think about leaving me behind.”

“Fine. General Shen was one of my father’s less vocal supporters. After the war ended, he left quietly. Too quietly. I should have suspected he was up to something.”

“So he’s requisitioning most of the coal from the mines and selling at too high prices down the coast?”

“Probably taking a cut from the remaining sellers here as well. And making a tidy profit from the Fire Nation’s coal reserves.”

“Your prices aren’t regulated?”

“The coal mines are the royal family’s property, technically. Fire Nation property and the royal family...”

“Is the Fire Nation.”

“Yes," He sighs, looking exhausted for a moment. "While the war was on, almost all the coal went to the navy. There was no concept of buying or selling, it just automatically did. I haven’t gotten around to price regulations with coal yet. I’ve been more focused on food.”

“Why doesn’t he just buy all the coal?”

“He can’t just close down this market. Or cause an uprising. That would make news. Spymistress Lian has been more focused on news of uprisings than anything. It would explain why this hasn’t gotten round to her yet, the people here have been too cowed down.”

“It also sounds like it’s been fairly recent. People are just beginning to sell up and move away. News will inevitably spread. But, what do you intend to do?”

“Drop anchor away from the town. I don’t want Shen’s people to scrutinise the cruiser too closely.”

“Then we double back and head back to his house.”

“No, I don’t want him. I want his thugs. They won’t be at the house.”

“Somewhere in town then?”

“Yes. And also, did you notice a messenger hawk service in town? I need to send a message to the naval base as well as to Uncle.”

“Zuko, I thought your absence from the capital was not to be advertised around too much.”

“We won’t be sticking around for the soldiers to find us. I’ll send the message anonymously, we’ll capture the men and leave them as a little gift for the navy to find when they turn up tomorrow afternoon and by that time, Uncle will have further instructions for them.”

“Alright. There was a messenger hawk service beside the food store. I noticed when we went to buy rice. And we should drop anchor around that corner so it’s not visible from the town docks.”

Zuko smiles his sharpest smile at her. She’s seen it a few times and it always sends a thrill of anticipation down her back. “Shen won’t know what hit him.”

She has to grin back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I should probably clarify right off that political maneuverings aren't my strongest point. I'm trying my best. (Sigh)  
> Also, the next chapter is a Katara POV too. I tried to make it Zuko because I like things to be orderly like that, but he didn't cooperate.


	8. Chapter 8

The night is still and calm except for the constant buzz and chirp of insects. She follows Zuko as he glides through the forests along the coastline and admires the glow of fireflies as they dart around. They’re the only speck of light in an otherwise dark night. Katara would wish for a full moon but any thoughts of it bring to mind the conversation with Hama. What do the means matter when you need to stop your opponent, the old woman had said, eyebrows raised questioningly. You freeze their feet to the ground with water or you do it with the blood in their veins when there’s no water around. Would you rather be dead? But there’s no lack of water here, Katara thinks. This is a Fire Nation island. There’s water everywhere. She doesn’t need to reach for the water in their veins.

She feels a light touch on her wrist. Zuko. He’s stopped and is looking at her with his eyebrow pulled down over his good eye. His scar looks like a dark handprint on his pale face, just visible over the dark cloth covering his nose and mouth. An echo of another night-time mission.

His head tilts to the side. A question. Are you okay? Katara slips her fingers through his and squeezes his hand. Yes. He nods and starts forward again, but her hand remains clasped within his, leading her from one shadowy tree to another.

The town square is absolutely deserted by the time they reach, in the deepest part of the night, and Katara takes the lead in guiding them to the messenger. Zuko looks around swiftly before breaking the small chain on the door with one of his dao swords and slipping inside.

“Why did you do that?” Katara hisses as she follows.

“I’ll leave money for him to fix it. How did you think we were going to get in?”

“ _Not_ by damaging property,” she huffs. She can hear Zuko snort in the darkness before he lights a tiny flame in the centre of his palm. She can only be glad that the man who runs the place doesn’t live in or above the room.

The hawks are not at all pleased to be woken in the middle of the night and sent out. But Katara manages to coax two off their perches and into a slightly better mood with some jerky while Zuko scrawls out his messages. She watches him seal the letters and tries to be as optimistic as he is that the officer at the naval base will not announce to all and sundry that the Fire Lord is on a covert mission by himself.

“Come on, let’s go,” he says, after they have released the birds, one after another.

“Are you absolutely sure they won’t be at Shen’s house?”

“Yes. I know people like Shen. These men may be unofficially under his command. But he won’t want to be seen as getting his hands dirty. They’ll be housed somewhere on the edge of town. Let’s go in the direction the men were coming from this afternoon.”

The houses on the street are all small businesses and family-size homes. They head to the very end, keeping a watch for a place big enough to hold about a dozen men living together but there aren’t any. Not in the village then.

The end of the street smoothly merges into a stone pathway leading up to the house on the hill. Katara can’t help shooting Zuko a smug look as they head up the path.

To Katara it seems like they’ve been walking for hours but it can’t be very long after that they come upon a split in the path. They stop. There’s a big stone gate just a few feet up ahead. To their right, the pathway leads into dense trees. There’s no sound or flicker of light from that direction.

“Shen’s more daring than I thought,” Zuko murmurs to himself.

“Looks like you aren’t an expert on corrupt politicians yet.”

He cuts her a look and plunges into the forest without a sound. Katara carefully sets her hand on the waterskin at her hip as she follows. By the time she appears at the edge of the clearing, Zuko is crouched in the underbrush watching the long low building with intent eyes. It’s a dirty grey-brown colour and does a good job of melting into the foliage. There’s a big wooden door in the front but the windows all around are shuttered.

Katara puts her mouth right next to Zuko’s ear as she murmurs “Guards?”

He shakes his head. “I’ll go around to the back and find another door or window to get in from. You count to twenty and then go in through the front door.”

“Okay. Twenty.”

She approaches the door cautiously but he was right and there aren’t any guards in sight. The doors don’t appear to be locked or bolted in any way. She readies a stream of water in her hands. Going inside the building, so far from any body of water leaves Katara with just the moisture in the air as her only other defence. But the element of surprise is the best thing going for them now and drawing the men out would lose them that.

As she reaches twenty inside her head, she hears the beginning of a commotion from inside and realises Zuko must have slipped inside. Her move.

A quick thrust of her hands blows the door open. Katara rushes in, rolling immediately as a man leaps around to face her with a knife in his hand. She assumes the octopus stance as two others join him. And then there’s chaos.

The room seems smaller than it looked from the outside and the stench of too many unwashed men hits Katara like a boulder. Weapons and bursts of fire fly in every direction and she can only be thankful that only two of the over dozen men are firebenders as she weaves and dodges. She throws two against the far wall and knocks them out and ices an archer scrabbling for his weapons to the ground. Zuko is visible in flashes, blades swinging, tongues of fire dancing along the edges as he blocks and parries and swings. Katara pulls moisture from the air to form ropes around a man’s arms and knees and freezes him in place.

They've been fighting and dodging for what feels like forever and there are still men coming at them. Katara is tiring and the constant dance she has to keep up to evade their weapons is sapping most of her strength. She’s not even sure how Zuko is managing considering the lack of sun. As she steps back and ducks the long knife wielded by the man in front of her she can hear a sharp cry in a familiar voice. She dances backwards and whirls to face Zuko. He’s lost his blades and is on his knees, one man holding his arms twisted at his back while another, a firebender, stands above him.

Rage floods her. The movements are almost automatic, Karri’s voice whispering through her head, yes Katara, one step forward with the right foot and swing around with the left. Quick now, build the momentum, lift with the knees. Draw the water upwards. There’s always water to find, even in the Earth Kingdom. She’s not even sure where the moisture comes from. The trees outside, her sweat, theirs? With one upward thrust and the groaning and creaking of ice, the two men are completely frozen, to the tops of their heads.

But it costs her. Zuko’s eyes are fixed on her in wide horror. “Katara!” The scream in his panic-roughened voice rings in her ears. She'll never forget that scream, if she lives to be a hundred.

And she’s on the floor, legs swept out from under her, her opponent having taken advantage of her distraction. He’s pinning her down with his weight and his arm swings, the silver glint of a knife in the wan moonlight. Zuko’s rushing forward but he’s too far, much too far.

Her right arm lifts above her face in a helpless motion to stop the knife. Her left scrabbles in the puddle of water she’d dropped. It’s not enough to knock him off. It’s not enough and she can’t move anyway.

But an ice dagger doesn’t require much. It’s instinct to thrust up.

There’s a startled cry and a dull thud next to her cheek and a heavier thump a little farther away. She’s still attempting to register the fact that she’s not dead when Zuko appears beside her, his eyes more than a little wild. “Katara, are you alright?”

His face is very pale and there’s a nasty cut across his good eyebrow, streaming blood. But he looks otherwise unhurt. She reaches towards it but he bats her hand away. “I’m fine but you clearly aren’t.”

“It’s not deep,” his tone is dismissive as he helps her lever herself up. For a second, so brief she wonders if she imagined it, his forehead rests against her temple and a warm sigh brushes her cheek. “Can you stand?”

It turns out that she wrenched her ankle when she fell. She can stand now but Katara knows that soon it will swell up and make life rather unpleasant for the next couple of days. And the climb downhill will be bad.

“Did I kill him?” She can hear how uncertain her voice is and it’s difficult to look at the man laid out a few feet away, unnaturally still.

“No, I knocked him out. You hit his shoulder, missed any major blood vessels. He’ll survive.” Zuko’s voice is full of disdain but she could sink from the relief she feels. “I’m going to tie them up. Can you walk?”

“Yes, for now.”

“Alright, you wait outside.”

Evidently, he finds something to tie them up with inside the building because it doesn’t take him long. When he emerges, his eyebrows are drawn together in thought.

“You said your navy will be here tomorrow afternoon and that we would leave before that. So, do we leave now?”

“I didn’t expect them to have quarters this close to the main house. This is a problem. We can’t leave them here and trust that they won’t be found or get free by themselves.”

“Do you think the villagers could help?”

“Tell them who I am, you mean?”

“Not necessarily. Let’s leave them here for a bit. Sunrise is an hour off. Do you think anyone from the main house would have heard the fight?”

“I doubt it. Big ancestral properties like this will be close to the middle of the compound, not near the boundary wall.”

“Okay, then. We go find that old man from today and tell him what happened. He’ll help gather some men to come round these guys up and take them to town. They can lock them up somewhere until the navy arrives.”

“And how do we explain all this?”

“Eccentric nobleman, remember. Tell them you’re working on behalf of the Fire Lord. You said they won’t ask questions.”

Zuko pinches the edge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. “Alright. It’s not like I have a better idea. Do you need help to walk?”

***

Zuko is wrong. The old man, Asu, when they finally manage to locate him, has plenty of questions. So does Somi, his wife. They listen to the story with wide eyes which keep straying towards Zuko’s scar and Katara’s blue eyes and hair beads. But they don’t press about their identities. Katara feels bad giving them false ones, especially as Somi clucks and fusses over her sprained foot and almost forces soup down her throat, but there’s nothing to do about it.

By the time Zuko and Asu manage to gather a group of the old man’s neighbours and friends, persuade them of the necessity to take action and venture up the hillside, the sun is sending faint streaks of light out from the horizon and Katara is almost asleep.

“Katara, wake up. Katara.” Something is shaking her. There’s an unpleasant burn at her ankle and an earthquake taking place on her shoulder. “Katara.”

“Huh, what?” She sits up in a hurry. She’s laid out on a pallet and it’s Zuko at her side. Not an earthquake then. “What’s happening?”

“It’s time to leave. I’ve brought our cruiser back to the docks. Come on, I’ll help you.”

“What about those men?”

“They’re all locked up in an old warehouse. And the naval base sent a message. They’ll be here in an hour or so. With instructions from the _Fire Lord_.”

“Wow. Your uncle works fast. He must have received your message in the middle of the night.”

“Probably. We’re lucky there hasn’t been a word from Shen. Either he’s away or he isn’t yet aware of the situation.”

“Or he doesn’t want to show any affiliation with those ruffians. What about Asu and Somi?”

“I’ve informed them we’re leaving. They’re confused but they haven’t tried to stop me. Some of the other villagers would have tried but apparently Asu wields a lot of respect here.”

“I’m sorry that we had to lie to them.”

“I know,” he sighs. “I wish we didn’t have to. But it would be dangerous if people found out that I was away from Caldera.”

“I know, Zuko. Come, let’s say goodbye and get going.”

***

Zuko fusses worse than Somi once they are on board the cruiser and moving away from Hiyika. He demands she sit down by the prow, brings out a bucket of water for her to ice her swollen ankle and then appears with a fresh white cloth to bind it. Katara can almost feel her eyes roll of their own accord at his ridiculousness.

“Katara, will you sit down for once and stop moving around. I’ll get you your stupid blanket from the cabin. Just listen to what I say for a change!” He is _so_ dramatic!

But it’s also oddly sweet and touching as he binds the wound with deft strokes, attempting to be as gentle as he can so it doesn’t hurt her too much. When he’s extra slow and careful with dinner and fails to burn the meat, Katara feels such a surge of affection she has the impulse to crawl into his arms and bury herself there.

She watches him serve her rice, the Fire Lord who throws himself into the arms of danger without thought, the boy who rages at an injured friend out of concern. And she’s not sure she’s ready for this journey. She’s not sure where they’re going at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How like Katara and Zuko is it to go running off with a half-assed plan?


	9. Chapter 9

Katara is lying out on the bedroll and blankets, her eyes fixed on the darkening sky above her. The white of the bandages on her leg glows rather eerily. Zuko wonders at her ability to look so nonchalant, so unpained. As if she never got hurt, as if she never waded into battle alongside him, as if she did not almost lose her life because of him. It makes him clench his fingers tightly around the cup in his hands.

“Here,” he kneels next to her and sets the cup down at her side. Her smile is brilliant when she turns it towards him. She looks beautiful, touched by the dying rays of the sun. He finds himself looking away uncomfortably. “Are you sure you don’t need a change of bandages?”

“Yes Zuko, I’m fine.”

“Thank you Katara. I didn’t say it before but thank you.”

“It’s what we do for each other, isn’t it?” And it really does seem that simple to her. It’s what they do. She risked her life for his without thinking, like his is worth that sacrifice. Like he is important.

“You were wonderful. Those were new moves out there. I’ve never seen you fight quite like that.” He remembers that brief moment when they’d caught him and he thought it was all over. With the firebender standing over him, all Zuko could think about was an achingly familiar situation from years ago. He’d frozen. But Katara had risen up like vengeance taking human form, power vibrating at her fingertips.

“As I said, Karri and Hama have been teaching me. And a lot of it came naturally, like something in my bones knew what to do.”

“It’s very different from the Northern style?”

“Not very. Some of the moves are the same. Some of it is a little faster, a little less focused on defence than the Northern style.”

“And things are alright? With Hama?” Anyone less familiar with Katara might not have noted the way her voice hitched at the mention of her name, the quiver in her eyelashes as she looked away.

“Not entirely. She was angry at us first. We, Sokka and I, we betrayed her. We helped send her back to the worst place she could imagine.” She looks at him then, at his downcast eyes and fisted hands and lays her own hand over his. “Not all the crimes of the Fire Nation are yours to bear.”

Katara looks towards the South, in the direction that her home lays. “For so long, I was the last waterbender of the Southern Water Tribe. I had to accept that role, throughout the war that was what was pushing me forward. I was the last. I could not give in, I could not let there be _none_. And now...”

“Now you aren’t the last anymore.”

“No. Now there’s a new waterbender. We’re rebuilding. And there’s Karri and Hama. But I know...we all know they won’t be around for too long. They aren’t in great health, especially Karri. That’s why they were so focused on teaching me. And soon, I’ll be responsible for the new generation. Solely responsible. And there’s no time for anger or feelings of betrayal.”

“Feelings don’t depend on logic though. Were you angry at her? You said you’d betrayed her. But what about what she forced you to do?”

“I don’t know,” her voice drops. “She’s my teacher. I’ve learned what I had always thought was lost to me from her and Karri. But then they speak of...of bloodbending...And all I can think about is that man on that ship. A man I hurt even though he never hurt me.”

“He hurt other people.”

“I know. And I also know that bloodbending can have other uses. It can be helpful even.”

“In healing.”

She casts him a swift look. “Yes. Yes, it can be used to heal much more effectively than simple waterbending. But do I have the right to affect a person’s body in such a manner?”

For a long time Zuko is silent. Even with her, there are parts of himself that are difficult to share. But this is Katara, his best friend, and she will never use anything he says against him. “After I was burned, I grew afraid of fire. Can you imagine it? A firebender afraid of his own element. It took months of practice with Uncle till I could produce flames again. And it set back my learning by years as I had to acclimatise myself to the basics again. Fire is the most destructive element. But it’s also the lifegiving element, as Aang and I discovered.” He looks up at the eastern sky, where the sun will rise after some hours. “Without fire, none of us would be here.”

“And air and water and earth can be used for harm in just as deadly a fashion,” she says. “Bending isn’t good or evil. The wielder is. And that applies to bloodbending too.”

“A few months ago, when I was in the Caldera City Hospital, a man was brought in. He was almost dead. His heart stopped as the healers attended to him. Then, one woman stepped forward and applied a tiny, controlled lightning strike to his heart.” Zuko can still feel his panic from that moment, the dampness of his hands, the shortness of breath. “I ran out of the room. I couldn’t breathe. But the man’s heart started to beat.”

Katara says nothing for a long time. She quietly shifts, attempting to find a more comfortable spot. “Thank you for telling me that, Zuko.”

He moves closer, watching her toss around. “Stop. You’ll hurt your foot. You can use my shoulder as a pillow.”

She laughs at him but takes him up on his offer. “Okay, you fusspot. Stop grumbling.”

He doesn’t have the heart to argue. Not when she feels perfect and just right in his arms. Not when she settles into his chest like an ache deep within.

***

Crescent Island is visible on the right as they sail by. Katara blinks when he points it out and he wishes he’d kept his mouth shut. It hadn’t been a pleasant encounter for either of them the last time they’d been there.

“I cannot believe you defied the terms of your banishment while Zhao was around,” is all she says, however.

“I was desperate. It was...not my best moment.”

“I wonder how Sage Shyu is. Spirits knows what would have happened without him that day.”

“He was well the last time I saw him. He’s Head Fire Sage now, of course. So I imagine he’s quite busy.”

She turns to him in surprise. “Head Fire Sage? Why? What happened to the last one?”

“We were not exactly sure of his loyalties. And he was very old anyway. Uncle persuaded him to take a...voluntary retirement of sorts.”

“I wasn’t aware Sages could retire.”

“I wasn’t either. But apparently they can step down from positions of leadership.”

“Well, the Fire Sages seemed loyal enough after the Agni Kai. They helped us, don’t you remember?”

“I’m not sure whether they were helpful or just afraid...”

“What do you mean? Zuko, they can’t have thought you’d _hurt_ them!”

“They weren’t afraid of me, Katara. They were afraid of you,” he smiles at the flabbergasted look on her face. She looks like the words are a great shock to her.

“Me! No, you must be mistaken. Why would they fear me?”

“Maybe because you took down one of the greatest firebenders in the country during a comet?” He watches her digest this with wide eyes. She looks torn somewhere between flattered and astonished. Then her eyebrows furrow and she twists her fingers together. “Katara, are you...are you upset by this?”

“I’m not upset exactly...I’m not sure. When I set out to learn waterbending, I wanted respect. I don’t want people to be afraid of me.”

“Of course people respect you!” He’s tripping over his words, stumbling to explain. It’s unimaginable that she should be upset by his thoughtless comment. “Katara, you saved my life and defeated Azula without hurting her when she was clearly unwell. You saved the people of Jang Hui when they were your enemies. You are the Avatar’s waterbending master. Of course people respect you!”

“You know about Jang Hui?”

“Yes, I heard about it soon after the end of the war. The village is doing well now that the factory has closed down. Many fishing villages near the former munitions factories are doing better now.”

“I’m glad.” She reflects on the horizon for a long while before speaking up again, “Zuko, you are making so many changes in so short a time. Aren’t you afraid?”

“Of assassins?”

“Well yes, but also of detractors.” He sighs. “It hasn’t always been easy. These last few months...well, Toph did tell you about the attempted poisoning. The Fire Nation has been at war for so long. The common people sent their children off to war and the nobles made money. That’s turned around. No one is dying at the frontlines anymore. But there’s shortage of food, of jobs, of money. The nobles who were profiting are angry at me. I wish people would be reasonable. At times, at my most desperate, I wish this hadn’t fallen to me. But someone has to do it. And changes are taking place, slowly.”

“That’s good. But that’s not what I asked.”

“Yes, I am afraid. I’m terrified that I’ll fail, that something will happen to me and war will break out again. That my people will never learn to live in peace. I cannot express these fears in front of my council. And I hate burdening Uncle. But yes, I am afraid.”

“Oh Zuko,” and despite his protests, she pulls herself to her feet and limps over to him to throw her arms around him. He settles his own arms around her, pulling her closer so he’s supporting her weight and not her ankle.

“Don’t worry about me, Katara. I’ll be fine. I can deal with a few dissatisfied nobles.”

“Okay,” it’s a whisper, murmured into his bad ear as her cheek rests against his, her long curls enveloping them in a world of their own. “But Zuko, please don’t fail to ask for help when you need it. We might not be in the Fire Nation but we’re always there for you. Always.”

“Okay. As long as you promise the same.”

She pushes back slightly, meets his eyes. Blue and gold lock. “Promise.”

***

Once they sail past the tail of the Fire Nation archipelago and the Earth Kingdom coastline comes into view, Zuko realises they need to stop for supplies soon. A Fire Nation cruiser on the western coast will draw much less attention than if they were to keep stopping at the southern Earth Kingdom ports. He suggests a stop at Kyoshi once they are close enough so Katara can see Sokka but she laughs it off.

“I have no wish to see my brother and Suki canoodling again, Zuko. I’ll be back home soon and that’ll be soon enough!” Then she looks teasingly at him and adds, “If you’re missing their lovey-doveyness however, we could always stop on the way back.”

Zuko grimaces as he thinks back to Sokka and Suki’s behaviour on Ember Island. “Let’s see what happens on the way back.”

Her smile dies. “Are we going to talk about that at all?”

“Talk about what?” One of the ropes is getting frayed and needs to be replaced. And they should probably replenish their rice and beans reserves. And fruits. Katara would like that.

“Zuko.”

“What?”

“You haven’t even spoken about your mother! We’re going to look for her and you haven’t even given me anything but the most basic details about where we’re headed.”

“Well, maybe I don’t want to talk about it!” Snapping at Katara is not the right thing to do, he knows. She dropped everything else to come and help him. He shares everything, _everything_ , with her.

“Since when do we not talk about the difficult things?” Her voice has gotten softer but the words hit him smack in the face. No, they don’t talk about everything. They have barely spoken about his feelings for his mother and he did not tell her about the assassination attempts himself and she’s never brought up Aang. They’ve skirted all these issues and now she’s bringing it up and Zuko doesn’t really feel well. But he has never backed away from anything. So he throws back his shoulders and turns to face her.

“Alright then. Let’s talk about the difficult things.”


	10. Chapter 10

They’re seated on the deck, cross-legged, facing each other over a few inches that might as well be miles. Katara cannot remember the last time she had been so ill-at-ease around Zuko. He’d thrown out his last words as a challenge and she’s not sure what’s happening here but she brought it up and now she can’t back out.

“Zuko, talk to me. What are you thinking? How do you feel about this whole situation?” And she realises, this must be the first time anyone has asked him how he feels about all of this. It’s all happened so quickly. News of Ursa, her rushing to the Fire Nation, their setting out. Zuko is going to see his mother after six years. And if he _is_ uneasy about the whole situation, who can blame him?

It looks like he is collecting his thoughts, re-arranging the words, which have never come easily to him, around in his head. “My mother left so suddenly. One day she was there, and the next she was gone. And we never even knew what happened except that it must have had something to do with me. Something to do with Azulon’s death.” He takes a deep breath, fists clenched. Katara can feel his hands heating up even from where she is sitting. She lays her fingers over his and watches the rage slowly drain away. He turns his hands and slowly, carefully, slots his fingers between hers one at a time.

“Now I know why she left. Provided Father told the truth, of course. And I’m going to look for her based on a description of a woman who was dropped off in an Earth Kingdom town six years ago. There’s been nothing more recent than that, no confirmation if she lived or died. I don’t know why she didn’t come back as soon as the war ended, as soon as she knew it was safe.”

“Zuko...”

“What if she doesn’t care anymore? What if Azula and I don’t matter? What if she heard about what...about what I did and doesn’t want me anymore?”

“Zuko, your mother committed treason to keep you safe. So that you could live. Does that sound like a woman who doesn’t care about her children? I’m sure there must be some reason she hasn’t been able to come back.”

“She’s dead then.”

“Okay, let’s not jump to the worst case scenario.”

“Are you angry at me?”

She frowns at him, trying to follow his train of thought. “What? Why should I be?”

“Because your mother...your mother won’t come back. And I’m talking about my issues. It's selfish.”

“If my mother were alive, nothing in this world or the spirit world would stop me from looking for her. I’d chase years-old rumours just for any confirmation, just like you.” He nods and bows his head over their joined hands. “Zuko, for years I lived without any sense of closure over my mother. I got that closure with help from you. I want to help you get closure too. Even if...if we do find out she didn’t make it, I’m going to be there by your side.”

“And if I’m angry with her for leaving despite knowing she had to...”

“Then you are no worse than me because I was furious with Dad for leaving us, even though I knew it was necessary.” She catches his swift glance. “Yeah, I was. I was angry that he left so soon after Mom. That I was left to pick up the pieces and carry on and look after Sokka even though I was hardly more than a baby. I knew what he was doing was important but it didn’t stop me from resenting him.”

When he looks up at her, the small smile turning his lips up is heartbreaking. His gold eyes are the softest she has ever seen them. And he is so, so lovely. “We’re a little bit messed up, aren’t we?”

It startles a laugh from her, “A little, yeah.”

There’s quiet for a long moment before Zuko speaks up again. “Okay, next difficult truth. What’s going on with you and Aang?”

Katara feels herself go hot all over. “What do you mean?” She reconsiders and asks, “Did Aang say something to you?”

“Noooo...In fact, he was quite careful not to mention you at all. He spent a few weeks with us before he left with Toph. And he seemed almost like normal but a little dejected. Even when we were looking for the fox-leopard cubs. Which is unlike Aang.”

Katara sighs. “Aang says that he is in love with me.” She casts a glance at Zuko but his face is neutral, even as he grips her hands tighter in support. “He wanted me to go along with him. But that was a bad time, with spring just melting into summer. My people needed me. And...and I didn’t want to give him the wrong impression anyway.”

“You don’t feel the same way about him?” She cannot tell what he feels from his voice, it’s too careful and controlled.

“No. He’s one of my best friends, of course. But I don’t love him, in that way.” Complete silence from Zuko. “Do you think he’ll be alright?”

“He’ll be fine. He’s just a kid, Katara. I doubt he even understands what love is.”

“He’s not that young! I’m not that much older than him. Am I just a kid too then?” Katara snatches her hands away from him. Her palms itch from the sudden loss of contact. She doesn’t understand where this is coming from, why she is so irrationally angry. Just, in that moment, she can hear another voice underlying Zuko’s own. In her mind’s eye, she can see Mai standing in _her_ spot in Ursa’s garden – she’s just a kid, Zuko. Just ditch her and we can do something else. She shakes her hair out of her eyes angrily and looks away from him. What is this? She hasn’t even thought of Mai in months. Zuko hasn’t mentioned Mai in so long.

“What? No, Katara! I’ve never thought of you as a kid. Why...why are you so angry?”

“What, you think just because you’ve dated two girls you’re suddenly a relationship expert?”

“I never claimed to be a relationship expert!” His cheeks burn. He’s beginning to get frustrated now. His words have a bite to them. “What’s going on here?”

“You don’t think Aang could actually love me!”

“Katara, wait!” He catches hold of her as she makes to get up and storm off. “I never said that. I never meant to degrade Aang’s feelings for you. I just meant that he’s thirteen years old and you’re literally the first girl he had seen and it’s natural that he should feel that way about you. But that’s not exactly love, is it. You yourself said you didn’t feel the same way. Why are you so angry about this?”

“I don’t know!” Suddenly, she feels helpless. “I just...you just acted so much older and condescending right now! And I’m not even two full years younger than you, you know.”

“I know, Katara. And I never thought of you as a kid! You were the most responsible one amongst us.”

“Yeah, but you and Sokka and Suki have all had romantic relationships. You all are so grown up sometimes. And I’ve just been kissed by Jet and Aang,” she grimaces.

“Well, my relationship was a disaster. And my first date was a bit of a disaster too. So I don’t know about grown up,” Zuko laughs rather ruefully at himself.

“I just don’t want you to think of me like some child,” the words are so small she barely hears herself. But as she finds herself pulled into an embrace, she realises he heard her. He’s warm and his arms are tight around her and he smells like jasmine and cinnamon and a hint of salt.

There’s a long sigh. “I couldn’t think of you as a child if I tried, Katara.”

***

The Earth Kingdom village where they finally dock is not very far from Fong’s Base. Katara doesn’t relate the traumatic story to Zuko. Things have been strange and awkward since last night and she would laugh at the way Zuko poured her tea and handed her breakfast and helped her drop anchor without making eye contact if she didn’t have the same problem herself. Katara decides that if they ignore the last half-hour of last night for a few days, it will all go away and things will return to their normal level of comfort. She hopes.

She lingers around a few of the stalls, always keeping a few feet between them. His shoulders are tense and when the fruit-seller tries to overcharge him for something, he gets snappish. She’s not sure what’s up really but it’s probably best that the two of them cool off before they attempt to speak.

“Do you like that one, dear?”

“What? Oh,” Katara had stopped before a stall selling little trinkets and picked up something without even realising it. She looks down at her hands and stairs at the silver hair ornament with the blue flowers. It’s lovely. “Oh no. It’s very pretty but I couldn’t.”

“It’ll look beautiful against your hair, dear. And the flowers will set off your eyes perfectly.”

“Thank you,” Katara gives her a shy smile. “But I’m not looking to buy anything.”

“Let’s call your boyfriend over, hmmm?” The old woman winks and Katara can feel herself heating up from head to foot. “He might be looking to buy something.”

“Oh, he’s not...please, he’s not my boyfriend...” She can visualise it though. Zuko buying her the pin, Zuko pinning it up into a knot in her hair, his ever-warm hands brushing her ears, the tops of her cheeks as he brings them down and flashes his shadow-quick smile. Katara needs to get away from here. “I’m sorry. I have to go.”

She flees, leaving the woman open-mouthed behind her. Halfway back to the cruiser she remembers she was supposed to buy vegetables and has to turn back reluctantly. Squabbling over yams and cabbages is safe though. Cabbages don’t give her disturbing thoughts.

***

It’s a full moon. Zuko is fast asleep on their little nest of blankets in one corner but Katara is too restless to sleep. She can feel the pull of the moon within her, keeping her alert, not allowing her to rest.

She’s been bending the water around the cruiser for an hour now. Streams of water loop and curl around them, silent and deadly as a cat-owl. But her arms are beginning to ache and she finally drops the water, careful not to splash.

Katara sinks down to the deck, cross-legged, eyes closed. This is something she has not done often but with the moon out in all its splendour today, it’s hard to resist. She breathes deeply, in and out, and then reaches within with all her senses.

And there! She can feel every drop of blood, flowing under the skin, unseen, untouched. She spreads her arms before her, flexes her fingers and wills her heart to stop racing. Slowly, her heart rate drops from the rapid pace that it always assumes after a round of vigorous bending. She follows the paths as it flows to the tips of her fingers and toes, an eternal cycle.

With eyes still closed she pushes out a little further. Her senses briefly brush against Zuko’s, latching onto the steady, steady beat of his heart. No. She bypasses him, bypasses the ocean all around her and reaches down beneath the surface of the water.

There’s a school of fish to the west. Even deeper and further away, just at the edges of her consciousness, she can feel a tiger-shark circling. The fish feel different from humans. Faster, less purposeful somehow.

It’s a part of her now, this power. Hers.

My power, to do with as I will, she thinks. To save people or hurt them, it’s my choice. My choice to do better than the ill-doers. My choice to not be ashamed.

Her power, her thoughts, her feelings.

She supposes she will get some sleep tonight after all.


	11. Chapter 11

It’s the sun beginning to send streaks of light out that wakes Zuko, as usual. The sun isn’t visible yet but the extra shot of energy that rushes through him is as sure as an alarm clock. He opens his eyes to find Katara tangled up with him.

Again.

He’s sure she doesn’t do it deliberately and the weather is pleasant enough that sleeping outside is quite nice. And she was right, the captain’s cabin really is stuffy. But he doesn’t know whether she gravitates towards his warmth in the night or he reaches out for her but half the mornings he wakes up with her head on his shoulder and her arm thrown over him under the blankets.

He hasn’t told her, of course. Zuko will never bring it up with Katara. She’s doing so much for him, left behind her people at a critical time for him and she doesn’t need to deal with this awkwardness.

The last few days have still been awkward though.

He’s not sure what happened. The ‘difficult conversations’ were supposed to make things better, lay everything out in the open. But in the three days since then they’ve almost found it impossible to talk together. They work in sync as always but conversations have been stilted affairs.

He shouldn’t have brought up Aang. Katara probably misses him more than she’d thought she would. This is the longest they’ve been apart in almost two years.

He carefully peels himself out from beside her and goes to light the furnaces. There are decisions they’ll have to make soon. He’s still not sure which would be the best way forward, to ditch the cruiser near Omashu and cut through via land or to sail around the entire southern stretch of the Earth Kingdom coast. The first might be shorter but it would mean crossing part of the desert. And what if his mother cannot make the journey on land? What condition might she be in?

He remembers her from his dreams, crying out for help.

What if Katara changes her mind and wishes to get off at Kyoshi? What if she decides to stay with her brother?

He dismisses the thought as soon as it enters his head. This is Katara. And if there’s one thing Zuko knows about Katara, even before they became friends and she became one of the most important people in his world, it’s that she never abandons anyone who needs her. And Agni, does he need her. Still, she would probably like to see Sokka. She's been away from her brother for more than a month.

“Zuko?” She appears at the door of the pantry as if his thoughts have summoned her. “Do you need help?”

“You’re up early,” he tries a tentative smile in her direction as he hands over two small fish and a knife. She’s much better at deboning and chopping fish and meat than he will ever be and he’s not embarrassed to stick to rice, which he can make.

She yawns but comes to stand beside him. “I think you’re rubbing off on me, you demon.”

“Well, if I have to stay up late despite being a firebender, it’s only fair you get up before noon,” he teases.

“Hmmph. It’s barely past sunrise.” She practically inhales his cup of tea. He sighs but wraps his hands around the kettle and heats it again so he can pour out another cup. “And the fact that you stay up late working and reading documents on policy is no one’s fault but your own.”

He actually cannot refute that so he settles for nudging her in the ribs where he knows she’s very slightly ticklish and watches her bite her lips to suppress her laughter. Yes, things are finally back to normal with them and Zuko couldn’t be happier. He’s not going to rock the boat again, no pun intended.

***

The cruiser is chugging along at good speed. They’ve spent the morning hovering over maps and navigational charts and decided that keeping to the sea would be the wisest course of action. Now, all he has to do is sit back and steer and watch the white-capped waves falling away before the prow of the boat.

Katara is lingering by the rails, her eyes squinted as she gazes into the distance. He’s not sure what she is hoping to see, the Earth Kingdom coastline is just a hazy line to the east. After a while, she turns and meanders her way over to him.

“Have you been to Omashu?”

“Not yet. Mai told me a bit about it though.”

“Oh,” her shoulders slump. He frowns, not sure what to make of the downcast tone. “Did she tell you about the Cave of the Two Lovers?”

“No.” His voice is quiet, toneless. “She wouldn’t have. Mai was...she wasn’t interested in things like that.”

“Oh, I guess it’s a little silly.”

“Will you tell me?”

“You want to know?”

“Yeah,” he shrugs, trying to be as nonchalant about it as he can. “I like your stories.” He _loves_ her stories. They’d been the best part of his day when she’d been staying in the Fire Nation. They’d lingered in the edges of his mind after she’d left. Asiaq lighting her torch in the sky so all could follow its light home. The hunter and the polarbear-dog cub. Uki’s determination to find the source of the Southern Lights so she could fulfil the last wish of her mother. They’d stayed with him, inspired him as he struggled with his Council, nudged him forward whenever he thought some policy or plan might be hopeless.

“Okay! Well, it was these travelling gypsies that we met and...”

***

“So, you all just found the graves of Oma and Shu? Just like that? And Sokka found the badger-moles?” Zuko exclaims in disbelief.

“Yup.”

“Honestly, did you three ever have any plans at all or was it just sheer blind luck that kept you from being caught?”

“Well, Sokka did make plans,” she shrugs. “But Aang wasn’t very good with them.”

“Of course he wasn’t,” Zuko groans.

“And then we did get lost a lot. It’s difficult to navigate from the sky. Faster. But not very efficient.”

He frowns, “I navigated Appa just fine on the way to the Earth Kingdom and back during the comet.”

“Oh yeah.” A pause. “Well, I don’t think Aang was too eager to get to work at that point. Maybe that’s why it took us so long to get the North Pole,” She bites her lip. “We did criss-cross around a lot.”

“So it wasn’t any kind of masterful evasion tactics then?”

She snorts, “Did you honestly think that?”

“Yes! Yes, I did. You drove me crazy!” He grips the back of his hair.

“Oh, I’m so sorry we didn’t make it easier for you to catch us!”

“It’s a wonder you didn’t get caught by Zhao! I just had one ship. He had a whole fleet.”

“You Fire Nation folks just aren’t that capable, I suppose.” She glances at him out of the corner of her eyes. “What did you think of the story? Better than Love among the Dragons?”

“You’re teasing but Love among the Dragons is a classic. The next time you’re in Caldera I’ll take you to see it. And by a good troupe, not that Ember Island Players stuff.”

“Oh,” she breathes. “I..I’d like that, Zuko.”

“Yeah...um...” He coughs once, clears his throat. Zuko rubs his chest absent-mindedly. “It’s a sad story, isn’t it? I feel bad for her. He died. But she had to live with it.”

“Don’t you think it’s beautiful that there’s a city built from their love though?” Her eyes are faraway. “It’s still here. It’s a legacy that makes them immortal.”

“It is beautiful,” he smiles faintly at her. “I’m sorry we aren’t stopping at Omashu. I’d like to have seen that cave.”

Her eyes meet his. “A cave of green crystals...”

“Katara...”

“I know, Zuko. It’s alright.” She brushes her fingers against his. It’s barely a touch. But that’s okay. She _does_ know.

***

As they approach the southernmost side of the Earth Kingdom, Zuko brings up the matter with Katara again. They’re nearing Chin and Kyoshi and if they are to stop there then they must adjust their course accordingly.

“Why do you keep asking that? Do _you_ want to stop at Kyoshi?” Katara is grumbly today. She’d woken up much earlier than was normal for her. He’d been a little careless this morning and his firebending exercises had been noisier than usual. He feels guilty about that. “Is Mai there? Is that it?”

“What? No, Mai’s in Caldera. What does she have to do with anything?”

“Nothing,” she mumbles, turning away. “I thought you missed her and wanted to see her, that’s all.”

“I can see Mai whenever I want. And I hardly ever do because it’s awkward since we broke up.”

“What! Since when?”

“Uh...since I left to join you guys? Come on Katara. You knew that.”

“No, I didn’t. I thought you were back together! Why didn’t you tell me?”

“There was nothing to tell! Why are you so obsessed with Mai?” he exclaims.

Her hands, which have formed fists at some point, tremble. “I’m not obsessed with Mai. I saw you in the garden that day, that’s all. A few days after your coronation. She was trying to get you to ditch me.”

“You were there?” He frowns, stepping toward her. “Katara, I told her no. She left after that. We didn’t get back together, ever. She’s still my friend, sort of. But that’s it.”

“Okay.”

“What just happened here? Are you really that upset about Mai and me? I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I didn’t know you thought we were back together.”

“I don’t know. I didn’t know what to think. She was just really dismissive about me and I didn’t like that.”

“Uhhh, Mai’s kind of like that about everyone. She’s not a bad person.”

“Right, alright.”

There’s a long pause. He feels compelled to finally ask, “We’re okay, right?”

“What? Yeah, of course. We’re best friends, Zuko. You thought you’d get rid of me after a little misunderstanding?” She gives him an easy smile. Best friends. Right. “We really don’t need to stop at Kyoshi though. They’ll make us stay for a few days and it’ll be a waste of time.”

“Alright. We’ll just continue then.”

***

Two weeks later, they reach the village of Shu Ling just at the beginning of their spring festival.


	12. Chapter 12

There’s a joyous and happy air around the village square as Katara and Zuko stroll along side-by-side. There are festoons of ribbons and flowers strung up around the houses and colourful lanterns in all shades of red and gold are being prepared to be lit once darkness falls. Similarly, hundreds of tiny candles sit around the fountain. Delicious smells emanate from the small stalls in the allies and bylanes around the square. Katara can already hear the sizzle of food frying.

Zuko looks around at the chaos, a small frown on his brow. He’s looked somewhere between anxious and steeled for disappointment ever since they had got off the ship. Katara slips her fingers into his and squeezes for a minute and he turns to her, face clearing at once.

“If she’s here, we’ll find her. Don’t worry. Come on, let’s go ask the lady at that stall.”

Shu Ling is a small town, barely more than a village. And someone of Ursa’s looks and deportment can hardly hope to pass unnoticed around here. The woman at the stall looks up as they approach, her eyes crinkling as she smiles widely. She’s middle-aged, with dark hair streaked with grey and laughing brown eyes.

“Yes? Looking for new outfits for the festival tonight?” She eyes their admittedly shabby clothes with an expert eye and smoothes a hand over the multi-hued cloths in front of her.

“Oh, no no...” Katara smiles in what she knows is a rather embarrassed manner. They have been travelling light and don’t have too many spares and yes, she hasn’t been doing laundry all that regularly, she knows that! “I just wanted to ask, do you live in Shu Ling?”

“Lived here all my life,” her eyebrows raise a fraction.

“Well, we’re looking for a woman. Tall, fair, long black hair, very light brown, almost gold, eyes. We were informed that she was last seen here.”

“Gold eyes?” Her eyes sweep over both Katara and Zuko from head to toe, stopping on Zuko. “Fire Nation? We don’t have anyone of that description here.”

“She may have been passing through,” Zuko breaks in. His voice is raspier even than usual. “It was about six years ago, I think. Please, if you know who I’m talking about or if you know anyone who might, please tell me.”

She looks taken aback. “I’m sorry, child. I don’t recall any such woman and I’ve been setting up my stall here for years. But if she did pass through, you should ask at the inn. It’s right through there. Old Ban passed away a few weeks ago but his niece has been working there for years.”

“Thank you, thank you so much,” Katara cries as Zuko nods and moves off.

The lady in the inn is younger than Katara had expected. She introduces herself as Shimo and nods when asked about Ursa. “I remember her. I was hardly more than a teenager but she was a memorable lady. And he looks like her,” she points at Zuko, who looks strangely gratified.

“Where did she go?”

“East. She came here on a trader’s vessel. Stayed for two days before making off. I believe she was headed towards the Eastern Air Temple.”

“The Eastern Air Temple!” Katara is shocked. “Did she say why?”

“She didn’t say anything. Didn’t even emerge from her rooms much. Feelings towards the Fire Nation weren’t too positive at the time. She was sensitive to that.”

“So east? That’s all you can tell us?”

“I told you what I know, kid. I have to go. The festival has me busy.”

Zuko and Katara emerge from the inn. It’s encouraging to have such a positive confirmation that this was indeed the way she had come. But the path forward is awfully vague.

“How did you know she’d come to Shu Ling?” Katara asks.

“Lian’s people found an Earth Kingdom trading vessel that remembered setting her down here. They were very sure about her identity. Lian said she’d first have them investigate but I...I was too impatient.”

“That’s understandable. At least we are going in the right direction.”

“Children.” They turn. It’s the owner of the clothing stall. “Did you get any information?”

“Yes, thank you,” Katara smiles. “Shimo was very helpful.”

“Well, I hope you’ll join us for the festival tonight. And here, I found this. It’ll look beautiful on you.”

Katara gazes at the hanfu, enraptured. It’s a rich, dark green in the softest of cottons. There are lovely little pale yellow flowers embroidered along the collar and sleeves and the belt is a deep, burnished gold. “It’s lovely. But I don’t think we’ll be coming for...”

“We should take it,” breaks in Zuko suddenly, to her surprise. “You like it, don’t you?”

“Yes but...”

“You can’t miss the festival if you are here! It’s the spring festival, the most auspicious time of the year. You young ones will enjoy yourself.”

“It sounds like a lot of fun...” Katara begins wistfully.

“We should come,” Zuko says decidedly. “We won’t be doing anything at night, anyway. And you love festivals, Katara.”

She glances at him. He looks firm but his molten honey eyes are warm as candle flames. They look back at her with a softness within their depths that she does not understand. It makes her breathless. "Are you sure?" He nods at her with a small smile.

“Okay then. Let’s have fun tonight.”

“And we should take the dress,” he suggests.

“Alright but then you have to take something too. I’m not going to be the only one in new clothes.”

Zuko gives in with little grumbling, “Okay. You pick.”

***

This evening Katara takes her time in the bath. Splashing around in hot water she lets herself daydream about the coming hours, strolling underneath the lanterns, looking at the flowers, tasting all the new kinds of food. Zuko’s eyes glinting in the light of the candlelit fountain and his here-and-gone smile at the sight of the performances.

She carefully smoothes the soft cloth over her hips and legs, smiling at the long sleeves that drape over her wrists and the ends of the belt that almost hang down to her feet. There isn’t much she can do with her hair so she leaves it down, tying back the front strands with a short length of ribbon.

Zuko is out on deck, dressed in the warm brown robes she’d selected for him. He looks different in the earthy tones, recalling days past in the Earth Kingdom, when they’d been on different sides of a seemingly never-ending war. But now, as he looks at her with wide eyes and hitched breath, those days are far from the forefront of her mind. Zuko looks like he isn’t breathing and no one has never looked at her like _that_ before and Katara feels oddly, uncharacteristically shy.

“Well?” She spins a little, giggles nervously, not exactly sure what she is doing. “Will I do?”

“Katara,” his voice is rough, cracking. He coughs and continues. “You look nice.”

“Oh. Umm...thank you. You look nice too.” They look at each other, a little uncertain, a little scared even. Which is ridiculous, isn’t it?

“Shall we go?” Zuko sweeps his hand out towards the town and Katara agrees, preceding him down to the dock.

Walking together towards the centre of town gives them back their usual camaraderie though as they admire the decorations and people. She feels his fingers curl around the edges of her long sleeves, keeping a firm grasp so they do not lose each other in the growing crowd. And his proximity, in the midst of a larger crowd of people than Katara has encountered in many, many months anchors her, comforts her.

Zuko is unusually eager to melt in with the crowds. In fact, he looks more excited than Katara can remember him ever being before and it’s quite surprising, given his brooding and stormcloud appearance after the innkeeper’s news. Still, it makes the evening better now that he is in a good mood and Katara is happy to drift around with him, gazing in wonder at the flowers and food and other things on sale and trusting that he won’t let her trip. In a parallel alley she catches sight of performers in masks and acrobats in bright wispy clothing. In a big square, not the main one, they come across an earthbending match. The contestants are nowhere near as talented as Toph or the Earth Rumble Champions and they don’t linger long.

They taste various char-grilled meats from a stall and then Katara drags Zuko to a desserts counter where they select a sweet red bean-stuffed cake. She eats most of it but offers Zuko a bite or two. Zuko buys a glass of some clear drink. The seller eyes them both narrowly for a moment or two but doesn’t protest. Katara isn’t very sure what it is and the very strong burn makes her grimace. But she still finds herself stealing his glass at regular intervals for tiny sips. Zuko doesn’t seem to know whether to be concerned or indignant but he surrenders the glass every time she makes an imperious gesture towards it anyway.

At one street corner, they come across a flower-seller with an enormous basket and Katara simply has to stop to take in the sights and scents. She is enchanted by one in particular, the stargazer lily. Katara studies the dark spots, attempting to string them together to form a constellation as the two of them usually do. He had stood quietly beside her as she’d oohed and aahed over the flowers but now, she feels his eyes on her face. When she turns to him, Zuko flashes the slightest smile and turns to the seller to ask for one of the stargazer lilies. He selects one that is a dark, rich, almost-verging-on-red pink and hands it to her.

“ _Oh_!” And then, clutching it in her hands, she turns wide eyes on him. “Thank you.” She beams up at Zuko and he looks away uncomfortably, turning as pink as the flower.

“It’s nothing. Let’s go to the square. I think the musicians are starting up.”

It isn’t just musicians though. A large space has been cleared in the middle and people are lining up to dance. They stand on the side as Katara ties the flower into her hair with her little ribbon. The dancers are mostly young girls and boys, barely older than them. But she spots some older couples and the sweetest little white-haired lady who whirls around with as much energy and vigour as the youngest of participants. It makes Katara smile and she’s not the only one, a grey-haired man leaning on a stick near them beams at the lady. She twinkles back at him in the midst of a set of rather complicated footwork and Katara wonders at what she will be like at that age.

“Do you want to dance?” Zuko’s voice is amused and endeared all at once. He raises an eyebrow and points out, “Your feet are tapping.”

Katara hadn’t really noticed. “I don’t know this dance.”

“You’re a master waterbender. It shouldn’t be too difficult for you to pick it up.”

“Alright,” the musicians have wound down and are getting ready to play a new tune. Some other people are joining in, dragging partners to the middle of the floor. Katara grabs his hands, “You have to come along.”

He’s half-laughing, half-protesting, shaking his head, doing neither very seriously as he lets her pull him along. She leads him into the circle and the girl opposite her laughs and winks at them. Katara watches the people around them carefully, hoping to pick up the steps. But Zuko was right. It isn’t terribly difficult and the slow start leading to a build-up gives them time to acclimatise themselves. Soon, they are whirling around with everyone else and Katara nudges Zuko every time she twirls close to him to get rid of the frown of concentration.

In a moment of pure childishness, he sticks out his tongue at her and she laughs, glorious and free, as she grips his tunic tightly in her fists. They’re swaying together now, in a minute she’ll have to circle around him and spin away towards the edges of the dance floor before they can come together again. Zuko’s hands have landed on her sides hesitantly and they seem to blaze through the multiple layers of her dress.

And then they’re off. Katara’s fingers flex and clench at the sudden loss of him, as she skips and whirls in imitation of the girls and boys around her, reaching out towards her partner. Zuko catches her hands in his, warm, always so warm, and they’re both breathing hard as the music builds, prompting the dancers to go faster and faster.

It’s strangely reminiscent of their duels, of their bending practices, the coming together and swinging away. And it leaves her with the same sense of excitement, of rush, of breathlessness as they finally come to the last slow spin, stopping with bodies leaning against each other, gasping. Zuko bends his head down and for a moment it comes to rest against hers, foreheads together, his eyes closed. He is so close Katara can distinguish each eyelash lying against his good cheek in the light of the lanterns, the strands of hair brushed over his scar so as to hide it. His breath trembles against her cheeks. She counts each inhale and exhale as his breathing slows, deepens. His eyes slowly blink open.

Then Zuko breaks away, meets her eyes in a strangely grave manner and nods towards a wine-seller in question. Katara acquiesces.

But as she follows him, putting up a hand to make sure the flower has survived their energetic performance, she knows that she’ll never be able to lock away this evening in the back of her mind. Something has happened, something that cannot be taken back, something that cannot be changed. And she wouldn’t even if she could.


	13. Chapter 13

The next few days are a monotonous cycle of the same questions. Every port and village they stop at is met with the same blank looks or, when they are willing to speak to a person who is clearly Fire Nation, it’s always the same answer. East, east, ever and always east. To the point that Zuko begins to wonder if his mother was intending to sail off the edge of the world.

Katara is optimistic. They’re getting closer, she insists. With every stop, with every person who saw Ursa years ago and knew she was headed in the direction of the Eastern Air Temple, they are a step closer to her. He wonders why the Air Temple. There’s nothing there, except one old sage.

“Maybe she was looking for information about the Avatar,” Katara volunteers. “Maybe she hoped that she could find him and do something about Ozai.”

“Well, where is she then? She obviously didn’t find him.”

“I don’t know but we’ll find her. Don’t worry Zuko.”

“That’s what you always say,” he mutters under his breath.

“And I’ll be right. You’ll see.”

He stops and takes a few deep breaths, concentrating on relaxing his tense muscles and unclenching fisted hands. “I know. I’m so sorry for snapping, Katara.”

“It’s okay. I know how frustrating it is. And being stuck on this little ship isn’t helping,” she walks past him, fingers lightly brushing his knuckles as she passes. “I’ll start dinner today.”

He watches her walk away and has to will himself not to reach out, not to catch her in his arms and hold her tight. Again, he curses himself for his lapse after the dance. They haven’t spoken about it and things had been very normal afterwards as they’d sipped wine and watched the other performances and wandered around the stalls. Katara hasn’t said a word but sometimes he catches a look in her eyes when she looks at him. And he’d give anything to know what she is thinking.

***

Zuko blinks at the man. He looks to be about twenty, not much older than them so he would have been a kid still when Ursa came around. Zuko’s not sure they should trust his account. “An old spiritual master? She was looking for a spiritual master?”

“Well no. I don’t think she knew what she was looking for, exactly. But when she heard rumours about the Lifan village wise man, she decided that she needed to go there.”

“And where is Lifan village?” Katara enquires.

“About thirty miles north-east of here. You’ll have to walk but there’s quite a good road.”

“And you’re sure this is the woman we are looking for?” Zuko ignores the jab from Katara’s elbow.

“How can I be sure?” The man cries out in exasperation. “But she’s the only woman fitting the description that came through here about six years ago. You can ask around. Other people remember her. Ours isn’t a very big village.”

“Of course, of course. We believe you,” Katara soothes. “Come on _Lee_.”

Zuko is still puzzling on the matter as they walk out of the store and back towards their ship. Katara is saying something about needing provisions and setting out early the next morning. They’ll probably need two days to cover the distance and pray that they don’t get lost along the way.

“What was she thinking?”

“Well, he’s apparently a very knowledgeable and wise old man. Maybe she thought he’d have some useful advice for her situation. Or that he could help in some way.”

Zuko shakes his head in confusion and disappears into the wheelhouse to look for maps.

***

As the man had said, the road they are to follow isn’t bad. It is obviously a cart track and although it seems often used, they barely encounter any traffic all day. Katara looks tired. He’d felt her tossing and turning next to him all night and Zuko wonders if they should stop a little early tonight. She’s been less talkative all day. And Katara does have her quiet moments but it isn’t like her to not speak for most of the day.

She does not demur when Zuko stops before the sun sets and begins to collect firewood for dinner and she’s silent as she goes off to a nearby stream to wash off. It’s later, when Zuko is tending to the rice and Katara is chopping up vegetables that he decides to speak up.

“Are you alright? Katara, I’m sorry about the mood I’ve been in over the last couple of days.”

She looks at him blankly for a moment before hurriedly shaking her head. “Oh no. It’s not that. I know how stressed you must be. It’s just, I dreamt of Mom last night. It’s been a while. For a time after Yon Rha, it was almost every day. But last night it took me by surprise. I’m sorry...”

“No, don’t apologise. Please.” He swirls the water with a ladle then looks at her, the small frown of concentration as she makes neat cuts, the hair falling over her face which she tries to brush back with the back of her wrist but does not quite manage. Zuko hesitates for a moment before reaching out and tucking the strand behind her ear. She looks up at him swiftly but then drops her eyes and gets back to work. He takes his hand back. He can remember her talking about her mother, about her strength and her bravery and her laughter, after confronting Yon Rha. Tears had fallen in heavy streams down her face and Zuko had wanted to hold her tight but not been able to do much to comfort. In the end, she’d hugged him first. Now he asks, “Do you want to talk about it?”

“It was nothing really. It was the summer solstice festival. And everyone was there. And I was...I was dancing,” her voice wavers for a second. “We were all dancing. Sokka and Sukki and Aang and Toph and you and me. And she was there, watching, beside dad.”

“It sounds nice,” his voice is soft.

“It was. It was lovely. Then I woke up and it was cold,” she looks up and gives a slight smile. “But you were right there and you were so warm. And that was wonderful.”

Zuko swallows, “Katara...”

It feels like the air around them hushes. The crickets, the nightjars, even the gurgle of the stream. And then, “Oh spirits!” Katara looks at her finger where the knife sliced through and then, in the most natural, instinctive manner, sticks it in her mouth.

“Katara!” Zuko cries out. “Heal it!”

She examines her fingers and bends a tiny bit of water out of her water bottle and heals herself. “It’s alright, really. Not a big deal.”

“Here, let me cut those. The rice is almost done. You take a look.”

“Okay,” she moves to take his place beside the fire. There’s a pause as they each tend to their own chores.

“I’m really really glad you’re here with me, Katara. I wouldn’t have wanted anyone else.” She doesn’t know the courage it takes to come out and say that.

He doesn’t look up. He doesn’t see her turn towards him and the softening of her eyes, doesn’t feel the quickening of her heartbeat. “I wouldn’t have been kept away.”

***

By the time they reach the village of Lifan the next day, it’s that time of the evening when everyone is retiring indoors after a full day of work. It’s a tiny hamlet with no inn and Zuko knows they’ll probably be spending the night outdoors again. He doesn’t really mind but he’d rather meet the village wise man today rather than wait for tomorrow.

They’re pointed to a house on the edge of the village by a wary-looking young woman. As they approach the hut, they can see that for all that it’s tiny it’s the neatest, tidiest, cleanest place they have ever come across. An elderly man with a white beard is seated out on the small covered porch and his eyes are fixed on them as they come up the path to his garden. His eyes are serious as he studies them.

He greets them cordially and even his grim exterior seems to melt a little when Katara smiles at him. But when he hears about their mission his face closes up again. “You were told this woman was looking for me?”

“Yes,” Zuko nods. “Please sir, we asked in the village and we have reason to believe a woman matching the description came to you for help some years ago. If you have any information about my mother...”

The man, Master Getu’s, eyes flick towards Zuko for a moment but he refuses to budge. “Even if she came to me, why would you think that I know where she went on to? I don’t know what you were told but I am simply a healer, not an all-seeing wise man.”

“So she was here then?”

Katara frowns at Zuko. “Master Getu, if there is anything at all you can tell us...We’ve been searching the entire length of the southern coastline and all signs point to her having come here. We aren’t sure what she was looking for but we really need to know where she went.”

He sighs, “Look child, I...” He breaks off, as a young man comes running towards them from the direction of the village.

“Master Getu, Master! It’s Huome! He’s fallen ill. Please, come quickly.”

“Excuse me,” he gets hurriedly to his feet and disappears into the hut. He comes out with a basket of herbs and first aid supplies. “I need to look into this. Forgive me, I shall be back soon.”

Katara and Zuko exchange looks and then follow after the two men, not exactly sure what else to do. At best, Zuko thinks Katara might be able to help if she is needed. And they don’t have any place to be anyway.

There is a small crowd gathered in front of the hut where the ill man assumedly is. They quickly make way for the old healer and glance at Zuko and Katara with curiosity. However, they don’t try to block their way as they move towards the doorway. The curtain has been partially lifted to let in the cool night breeze. They can’t properly see the sick man laid out on his bedroll but Getu and a tired-looking woman are kneeling nearby. She looks frightened and despairing while his features are as grave as ever.

They can pick up murmurs from inside, “heart...fall down...too fast...”

Zuko is startled when Katara steps forward suddenly and addresses the two inside, “If you would excuse me for barging in, but I am a waterbender and a healer. I could examine him if you allow it”.

Getu looks up at her and examines her sincere features shrewdly, then nods at her to enter. She quickly steps out of her shoes and ducks inside. Zuko hesitates for a minute before following and settling with his back to the wall beside the door. Katara is kneeling beside the man’s bedside, hands coated in water as she examines his chest. Getu is explaining to her in soft murmurs that the man seems to be suffering from some severe palpitations of the heart and the herbs he has are not enough to help. He says Huome must have eaten something he wasn’t supposed to.

With an exclamation, Katara throws the water aside and swiftly leans forward with fingers outstretched. “It’s too fast. At this rate, it’ll give out soon!”

The woman shifts and clenches and unclenches her hands. She doesn’t make a sound but the desolation is clear in every line of her body. The two children sitting in the corner, who Zuko hadn’t noticed at first, sniffle loudly.

Katara is doing something, straining against some unknown entity. Zuko frowns as she goes up on her knees, her entire body bending over the sick man. She’s panting as if she’s been running for miles which is very odd because she’s hardly used her powers. Her fingers curl into claws and suddenly, in a flash, he understands.

“Katara!” He’s forgotten aliases, backstories, everything. He just needs to make sure she’s alright.

“It’s a full moon night today,” Despite the gasping breaths, the words are strangely calm and detached.

“The moon is barely up! Katara...”

She ignores him. She seems to be swaying to some tune of her own, her fingers twisting and turning in a strange approximation of a dance. She is weaving life back into the body of the man. The woman has retreated to the back of the hut, children clutched to her, watching the waterbender in a mixture of awe and terror. The old healer’s attention seems fixed on the patient but even Zuko can feel his razor-sharp focus on the girl at his side.

Huome gasps and thrashes. His chest rises and falls so sharply, it looks like his heart might beat out of his chest. Sweat has gathered on his brow and that of the girl healing him. And then, suddenly, it all slows down. Katara’s curled fingers open up and she collapses back on her heels as the man stops moving. Her hands follow the paths of his body, hovering a few inches above his chest, his arms, his stomach. They flow this way and that as the man’s body relaxes with a sigh.

The woman in the corner lets out a whimper and Getu leans forward to check his pulse. There’s a moment of silence.

Then, Zuko rushes to catch Katara as she slumps forward at the same time as Getu pronounces, “He’s alright. He’s asleep.”


	14. Chapter 14

Katara wakes up to sunlight streaking across her face. She looks around at the unfamiliar surroundings and has a moment of panic before she realises she’s laid out on her own bedroll and Zuko’s lies beside her, neatly folded. The little wooden hut is illuminated by the sun streaming in through the open door and she can see that there isn’t much inside. A bedroll, a fire-pit, a kettle and some pots beside it and a very small chest in one corner. She’s not sure where she is exactly and she doesn’t remember much after almost-fainting after bloodbending yesterday. But she makes an intelligent guess that she is probably in Master Getu’s home.

Her body aches like she has run miles without warming up. She’d known, even as she did it, that bloodbending with a barely-risen full moon had been a huge risk. But she hadn’t been able to help herself when her senses reached out and felt the man’s heart going in triple time and about to collapse in on itself. The sniffling children in the corner and the agonised eyes of the woman beside her had been such a haunting picture and it had been almost instinctive to cast aside her useless water, reach out to the blood and _pull_.

Steadying the blood pumping through his heart even as his own body fought her at every step had felt like nothing she had ever experienced before. It had been a heady sense of power and sheer bone-deep exertion combined. But she’d succeeded and the man had been strong enough to pull through and Katara had been able to stop a family from being broken up.

Now, all she needs to do is find the strength to get up, go find Zuko and bear whatever lecture he is sure to deal out.

Just as she is making her mind up about the first, Master Getu slips inside. He looks pleased to see her awake and kneels down to help her sit up. Despite his rather frail appearance, his hands are firm and sure on her shoulders and Katara can only murmur her thanks when he brings her a bowl of congee and some tea.

“It is well that you are awake. That wasn’t the wisest choice last night, was it? But on behalf of Huome’s family and our village, I express our most heartfelt gratitude. He’s a good man. Not the wisest or cleverest...” He gives her a rather wry smile, “but a good one nonetheless.”

“You aren’t afraid of me? You don’t want us to leave?”

“Certainly not. You saved a man’s life. I’m not entirely sure what you did, though I can guess, but you will not hear any judgement in this village. We are a small village, loyal to our own. And you helped one of us. Thank you.”

Katara feels heat creep into her cheeks at his kind words. “Thank you. May I ask where Z...Lee is?”

“He volunteered to fetch me some water,” the old man smiles. “These old bones are grateful to have some young people around. But come, finish your food. And once the young man comes back, we shall talk.”

“About his mother?” Katara asks with knowing eyes.

Getu sighs, “Yes, about his mother.”

***

“Almost six years ago now, a woman came to Lifan in search of me. She’d heard I was a talented healer and a spiritual master and she thought I was something other than what I was.”

Zuko draws in his breath on a gasp. He’s seated himself next to her, their arms and legs brushing against each other. Zuko’s not usually very touchy-feely and Katara realises she must have freaked him out more than she’d understood with her fainting spell last night. “Was she...was she really looking for the Avatar then?”

Katara’s brows furrow. That had been a throwaway suggestion on her part, not something she’d seriously considered.

“Yes. It was why she was headed in the direction of the Eastern Air Temple. All the others had been thoroughly searched, of course, being close to the Fire Nation. But this one has gone relatively ignored due to its distance.” He closes his eyes. “When she heard of me, she turned her course for this village. She was disappointed when we met. I’m no all-seeing power, I have no special connection with the spirits. I’m just a healer who at times ventures into Bu Sin Mai and has come out unhurt.”

“Bu Sin Mai?”

“The forest,” he spreads his arm towards the eastern edge of the village, where indeed a forest begins. “Said to be the abode of thousands of spirits. But the most important spirit, of course, is the guardian of the forest – Bu Sin Mai herself.”

“Like Hei Bai’s forest,” Katara breathes. “And the foggy swamp. It’s one of the borders between our world and the spirit world.”

Getu shoots her a swift look, “Yes. Exactly. It’s a dangerous place to go into with desire in your hearts. Many many years ago, Bu Sin Mai was believed to be a generous and magnanimous spirit, fond of humankind. It was believed that those she found pure of heart, she’d grant wishes to. But that has now changed. And most who go clamouring to her for wishes never come back from the forest.”

Zuko’s mouth tightens. “My mother went inside.”

“Indeed. Once she realised I was not the Avatar and could not help her, she turned her attention to other things. And she found out about the legends of Bu Sin Mai.” He looks exhausted suddenly, “I attempted to dissuade her. Those who go seeking for the spirit alone never return. But she would not listen. She said she had to do it. She needed help, not for herself but for others.”

“And you think she’s still in the forest?” Katara asks in wonder.

“The forest has many secrets. And it keeps them. Even from me, who goes into the outer edges at times to collect plants.”

“Why has the forest not hurt you then?”

“Because I ask nothing of Bu Sin Mai that is not already available in her domain.”

“And you have never seen her? My mother, I mean?”

The old man’s face softens. “No child, not your mother nor any of the others who disappeared.”

Zuko turns away in an attempt to collect himself, she can almost see him schooling his face into a mask even as the back of his head is to her. She finds herself reaching out to him and when he turns to her, she slips her arms around his neck and rests her head on his shoulder. Zuko will never ask this of her, she knows. He’ll try to leave her behind. So, she must speak first. “Then to the forest we must go.”

“Katara...”

“I’m not leaving you when you need me. Remember?”

When they finally break apart and turn to Master Getu, the old man’s eyes are sad. “I was afraid you would say that.”

***

It is early morning of the next day that they set out. Somehow, the entire village has learned that they are to go into the forest after the black-haired lady from six years ago and there’s almost a funereal air in the way people look at them which makes Katara supremely uncomfortable. They come to Getu’s and leave meat jerky and dried fruit for them to carry with them. It makes both of them nervous and edgy and they’re glad to leave just after sunrise the next morning, before the village stirs. Getu has not made any effort to dissuade them. He can probably tell from Zuko’s face that it won’t do the slightest bit of good. But he wakes up to see them off.

“Do you really think we won’t return?” Katara looks up at Zuko a little hesitantly. After all that she has seen it is not an easy matter to frighten her but the attitude of the people here is making her nervous. “Maybe we should have sent for Aang. The spirit world is his place.”

Zuko sighs, “We don’t have the slightest idea where Aang is now. And how would we send a message anyway?”

“I know. You’re right. I’m just...I’m afraid.”

He stops and catches hold of her hand. “I know. I am too. But we’ve been through so much! We can do this too, can’t we?”

Her smile might be a tad bit wobbly. But the fact that they’re facing this together makes her more confident. And she’d never leave Zuko to deal with this by himself.

The forest isn’t grim or dark or scary at all when they enter and find themselves on a rough animal track. The trees are big and tall and tower over them but slashes of sunlight make their way through the branches and illuminate the leaf-strewn ground. It’s not silent or hushed as birds and insects hum and buzz around them. Sometimes they glimpse patches of colour where wildflowers peep out of the undergrowth. It’s beautiful and not in the least like the creepy swamp or Hei Bai’s destroyed forest.

Katara feels a burst of confidence and lets out a little laugh. “It’s lovely! I didn’t expect it to look like this.”

Zuko walks a few feet ahead of her and his head turns to-and-fro as he takes in his surroundings. “It’s livelier than I expected. Come on, this track seems to be headed towards the centre of the forest. I think that’s where we should head.”

It’s not a particularly difficult trek except for how hot it suddenly gets around midday. The track seems to run in a more-or-less continuous straight line and is clear enough to follow, as if the spirits themselves are paving the way. Katara can only hope they are going in the right direction and are not meant to follow any of the branching paths. The birds keep up a rather noisy chorus the entire way, which makes her curious. She’s not sure how comfortable animals usually are with the spirit world and at moments she feels a little unsure as to the presence of any spirit at all.

A little before midday, Zuko stops and looks around at her. “Are you alright? You aren’t tired, after the bloodbending that night?”

She smiles in his direction. “No. No, I’m fine. That felt so good though, being able to help that man. I was afraid he’d slip away.”

His entire face softens. “I’m so proud of you. It was scary, watching you fall, don’t think it wasn’t. But you did it, you stepped in and helped when no one else could do anything! Watching you work, keeping death itself away...you were amazing, Katara!” He falters towards the end, like he hadn’t meant to say so much. “But you’re strong enough now?”

“Yes, Zuko. I was just tired. Don’t worry, a full day of rest helped.” He studies her face as if to make sure she is telling the truth. Whatever he sees must reassure him because he nods and starts forward again. Katara follows, pinching her arm so she doesn’t float away on the feeling stirred up by the admiring words and fire in his gaze.

It is nearing evening and sundown by the time they reach what appears to be the centre of it all. The trees are already throwing long, dark shadows along the ground and the forest is beginning to seem a little more sinister when their path comes to an abrupt end at the base of a large tree. Katara looks around and sees different paths from different directions converging at this point.

“I suppose this is it,” Zuko comments, looking up towards the canopy of the huge tree, far far above them. “It seems to be the centre of it all.”

“Is the tree the spirit?”

“I don’t think so?” He begins to circle it. “But there’s a strange energy around it, don’t you think?”

He’s correct. Katara can feel an odd, almost electric, buzz flowing against her senses. It’s not unpleasant, it has a hint of the sense of power that emanates from Aang in the Avatar State, but it’s very noticeable. She walks around the tree, meeting Zuko on the other side. The feeling emanates from all over. “What do we do now?”

Zuko reaches out and lays a hand against the tree truck. Katara almost flinches and snatches his hand away but there is no reaction to this whatsoever. When she joins him, it feels like any ordinary tree trunk, except for the faint buzz under her fingertips.

“Children.”

They both gasp and step back. The voice, female, mellow, ageless and powerful, seems to come from all around them. They search around for any sight of anyone before Katara’s eyes are drawn upwards. She stifles another gasp and grips Zuko tightly. He follows her gaze to the massive black cat seated on a branch of the tree. She looks like a panther but much bigger and without even the faintest of markings. The cat is the colour of the night sky and her eyes are like chips of ice, a frosty, much lighter shade of blue than Katara’s own. Slowly, steadily, Zuko pulls her as they back up a few steps.

“Why have you come to my forest, children?” That omnipresent voice makes shivers chase each other down Katara’s spine. From the stiff way Zuko is standing, it looks like it is the same for him.

“Respected Bu Sin Mai,” her voice cracks. She clears her throat and starts again. “We are looking for someone, someone who may have ventured into your forest years ago.”

“Lady Ursa.” It is not a question. The spirit’s eyes are fixed on Zuko, tracking every feature from head to toe.

“Yes. My mother, Lady Ursa.”

“She was here. Years ago by your human calculations. She had wishes and desires she wanted fulfilled. She sojourned into the spirit world as a test from me. And lost herself there.” There’s a strange undercurrent of amusement in the voice.

Zuko stirs uneasily. “My mother has been in the spirit world this entire time?”

The spirit leaps down from the branch. Somehow she manages to land lightly and soundlessly on her feet and make the ground shake at the same time. Katara has to take a firm grip on herself so she doesn’t turn and run as the huge cat begins to circle them. “She is lost there,” She repeats.

“Then please tell me how I can go and get her out,” Zuko’s voice is firm. There’s a throaty laugh from every direction. Katara can see his hands tremble.

“You have great confidence in your abilities, little human.”

“I don’t. But I won’t leave my mother wondering around the spirit world for all eternity when she isn’t even dead.” His breath hitches, “She isn’t dead, is she?”

“Her body? No, it still lies on this mortal plane. It’s weak and frail. You humans need so much nourishment to survive. But she’s not dead, no. Not in the traditional way. Her mind is lost.”

“Then I can save her!”

“And what makes you think you won’t become lost as well? Your mother was no weakling. And she lost herself.”

Katara draws herself up. Spirit or not, she’s not going to allow this creature to taunt Zuko. “Because he isn’t alone. I’m here. And I won’t let him get lost in his own mind.”

For a moment, there is silence. Zuko grasps Katara’s hand tightly, half-shifting to shelter her behind him. But Bu Sin Mai doesn’t seem enraged. In fact, she looks intrigued, as far as a giant cat can look anything.

“Hmmm,” the hum is like a thunderclap. “I like loyalty. It’s not often found among your kind. But you two have plenty.” She strides around them and leaps onto a different branch of the tree. “I’ll allow the boy to go after his mother. Just you,” She flicks a tail towards him. “The girl stays here." No. _No,_ "The spirit world isn’t an easy place to navigate. And even if you find her, Ursa might not be willing to leave.” Zuko looks indignant but she cuts him off before he can interrupt. “Remember that only when your heart is free of all negativities can you succeed.” Her eyes close lazily, “Come back at dawn tomorrow. You journey at the rise of the sun.”

***

Katara doesn’t like anything of what has just unfolded or what will happen the next day. It goes against the grain to allow Zuko to leave by himself. But by speaking up, she had essentially declared herself his anchor, his tie to the human world. And she knows Bu Sin Mai won’t take back her word and allow Katara to go after everything.

She watches Zuko as they half-heartedly go through the motions of setting up camp a little way off from the central tree. He looks so serious. She doesn’t understand why but she would really like nothing better than to wipe out that frown on his brow. Her hands itch. And thoughtlessly, heedlessly, she does it. Quickly moving forward, she smoothes out his brow with her fingertips before trailing them down his nose and resting them on his burned cheek.

“Katara?” It’s barely a sound.

“I didn’t want you to frown.” He’s not frowning now. His eyes are wide, fixed on her face. The intensity of his gaze makes her want to squirm. He’s looking at her as if she’s a wonder, as if he doesn’t quite know what to do with her. “Zuko, tomorrow...promise me you won’t go off anywhere I can’t follow. _Please_.”

He lets out a short breath. It’s not really a promise he can make, they both know. And he doesn’t want to lie. Not to her, never to her. But, “I won’t let anything take me, I promise. I’ll come back to you.” His hands move slowly, so slowly, to rest against her cheeks. One slides along her jaw, behind her right ear with a soft caress, disappearing into her hair. The other traces lightly over her other cheekbone.

Katara can’t breathe. This, this spot and moment in the middle of a spirit’s forest, is where they’ve been heading the entire time. Every conversation under the stars, every letter, every mile on their journey has culminated in this. And she wants it so badly. But she’s afraid to move, to say anything.

His amber-gold eyes study her as if he is reading every thought, every wish and desire of her heart on her face. “Can I kiss you?”

Stupid boy. As if she’d say no. As if some part of her hasn’t been waiting for this from their dance, from the moment they set out on that cruiser together, maybe even earlier. She leans into him, tugging gently at his collar to pull him down. She cannot speak, cannot find her voice which is caught in her throat but she is not going to give him any excuse to back away.

His eyes flash and he leans down and she isn’t sure who makes the final move but then, their lips are brushing. Soft, gentle, barely any pressure. His mouth slides against hers once, twice, a third time, so hesitant. The hand against her cheek moves down and fits against her back.

She surges forward in the same moment Zuko pulls. Head tilted, she fits her top lip against his bottom lip and her arms around his neck. This is like nothing she has ever felt before. None of the clichés apply. She’s not drowning, she’s anchored firmly to him. He’s the headiest feeling of warmth but no burning conflagration. The swoops in her stomach would feel like flying if she weren’t being held so tightly by him.

Zuko breaks away, breathing fast. She feels like her heart might beat out of her chest. Their eyes search each other as if a physical manifestation of this momentous event would be left behind on the other. But he looks the same, if a little dishevelled. And that look is back in his eyes, the one he has specially for her. “I’ll come back to you,” he promises once more.

Katara tightens her hold on him, “Do it again,” and Zuko sweeps down to lay another kiss on her mouth. It’s everything she’s ever dreamt off and more.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The format of the next few chapters will be a little different, with alternating Zuko and Katara viewpoints.

The sun is just spreading out its fingers over the edge of the forest when Zuko and Katara appear in front of Bu Sin Mai’s tree but the spirit is nowhere to be found. Zuko looks around desperately. Spirits cannot lie or go back on their word once it has been given, he knows, so she has to be somewhere. But there isn’t anything or anyone around them.

Except the tree and its hum that seems to grow louder every minute. He walks toward it as if in a trance. He doesn’t know if it’s the tree itself pulling him forward or some other power. He can hear Katara murmuring something behind him but the humming drowns out everything else. Slowly, he lifts his hand to set it against the trunk.

Katara’s scream of his name is the last thing he hears before darkness descends.

***

After yesterday, watching Zuko collapse on touching the tree-trunk is not something Katara is prepared for. The fear that rockets through her as she rushes to catch him is almost overwhelming.

“Zuko!” She turns him over on his back. His eyes are closed but his chest rises and falls with steady breaths as if he is asleep. This isn’t like Aang’s sojourns to the spirit world where he deliberately chose to journey there. Why did Zuko collapse in that manner? And where is Bu Sin Mai? “Zuko, Zuko! Can you hear me? Zuko, wake up.”

“He cannot hear you.”

Katara startles, drawing water to her hands to shield both of them against the threat. The huge shadowy cat is back. It’s seated in one corner of the clearing, watching her as if it had been there all along. But it hadn’t, _it hadn’t_!

“What did you do? Where is Zuko?”

“Where he was so eager to go. The spirit world.”

“But you weren’t here! The tree sent him.”

“Do you really think anything that happens in this forest is without my permission, little human? Your friend wished to journey to the Spirit World. He has gone. Do the methods matter?”

Katara hovers over his prone body, feeling completely helpless and small against the power and might of the creature. Even the voice, which was scary but not so bad yesterday, seems to press down upon her ears as she sits alone, face to face with a spirit. But she cannot cower down. She must be brave, she must be strong. “Is he going to be alright? Is he hurt?”

Strangely, Bu Sin Mai’s voice seems to gentle. “You love him.”

It’s not a question but Katara says nothing. The first time she says it isn’t going to be to someone else, certainly not a beady-eyed spirit staring her down. She lifts her chin defiantly and maintains eye contact.

“You have nothing to fear from me, child. Whether he succeeds or not is going to be because of him and no one else. I am simply a conduit. I have no desire to hurt him.”

Katara inhales sharply, looking down at the unconscious boy in her lap. If it’s simply up to him, does that mean this isn’t going to take very long? Zuko’s the strongest-willed person she knows. When he sets out to do something with his entire determination, nothing is enough to stop him.

“What is...,” She falters. The clearing is empty again. There’s no sign of any spirit anywhere and the only sound is the wind rustling through the leaves of the massive tree.

***

There’s grey all around him. He has been walking for hours and he feels like he has forgotten any other colour ever existed. The track is narrow and worn and the trees and grasses that line it are somehow simultaneously scraggly and menacing. Zuko peers between the branches on his right but the grey of the plants and creepers seem to deepen the further it gets from the path until there is only darkness beyond.

He has not come across anybody so far, spirit, human, lost soul. No one. He contemplates if his mother can even be found while travelling along this path. Hadn’t Bu Sin Mai said she was lost? But the thought of stepping out into the wilderness terrifies him. No, he must wait for a sign. Someone will meet him soon, someone will tell him what to do. Won’t they?

Worries about Katara swirl through his head. He’d been snatched away so abruptly. Would she understand what had happened? Would she be alright in that forest by herself? He hates himself for having brought her along, for putting her through this.

For a second he wonders if he wishes hard enough, he’ll wake up with Katara in his arms. What happened last night swirls through his head. He’d been there but he cannot really believe it, she’d felt the same, she’d kissed him back. Or maybe she had made the first move, he’s not sure. Everything had happened so quickly and he’d been in a happy daze. His hands tingle where they’d been wrapped around her and something in his chest wrenches to think of her alone in that forest, waiting for him. He should never have written her that letter. Uncle had been wrong. Much better for him to come alone.

“You feel very strongly, don’t you? You humans, always brimming over with emotions.”

Strangely enough, Zuko is not surprised or astonished to find the creature padding along beside him on soundless feet. He’s not sure what to call it, although it looks something like a very small polarbear-dog. But it’s grey in colour with white paws and an enormous mane around its neck. Its tail, large and fluffy, flicks from side to side restlessly. Against the camouflage of its fur, Zuko can just barely make out feathery grey wings folded neatly against its body.

“Are you here to help me?”

“You can think of it like that if you wish. But what do you need help for? Why are you here?”

Why was he here? What had he been thinking about? Uncle...no, not Uncle. It was...someone whom he didn’t want here, someone who’d come with...Katara! Katara who had come with him on a mission and who he’d been forced to leave behind. Why had they come here? What had they been searching for?

“I...I don’t know.” Zuko looks around at the greyscape. He’s been walking along this path for hours. But how does he know he is going in the right direction? Why isn’t he going the opposite way? “Who are you?”

“Names aren’t very important here. Don’t mention names, there’s no need to give out names.”

It takes Zuko a moment to remember his own. Zuko. Zuko. Zuko. Katara. Uncle Iroh. Zuko, my name is Zuko. Katara is waiting for me. Uncle Iroh is at home and I have to get back to them.

Uncle Iroh had been unhappy about his coming. Because he had work. He was from the Fire Nation and he was Fire Lord. His people needed him and he needed to get back from this mission alive to help them. This mission was all the time that he could afford for his personal desires. Always the martyr Zuzu, Azula had once laughed her harsh and discordant laugh.

And with that, it comes to him. “My mother. I’m looking for my mother.” He is careful not to mention her name.

“Ahhh!” The spirit casts him a glance of what almost looks admiration. “You’ve remembered!”

“Is she here? Can you tell me where she is? I need to find her and get back!” Zuko exclaims.

“She is here. But I cannot tell you where she is. You’ll have to find her yourself. All I can say is beware of Koh.” And it’s gone.

Zuko shivers and walks on through the greyness, alone again.

***

Dusk has fallen and Zuko remains as unresponsive as ever. Katara is not sure what to do. Bu Sin Mai has not turned up again and she is too afraid to move Zuko away from the tree. But she cannot leave him and go to their campsite either, can she? She is his anchor.

Finally, she leaves to go collect their bedrolls and some dry fruits. She hasn’t eaten all day and she hopes that Zuko will be back soon, in which case, he’ll need food too. She lays out their bedrolls under the cover of the tree and drags Zuko’s still body onto the nearest one. Then she huddles down on hers.

With night coming on, she’s getting cold. The sounds of the cat-owls make her uneasy. But she doesn’t want to risk a fire so close to a sacred tree. She misses Zuko, his warmth, his fondness, the molten honey eyes and little smile that he seems to reserve for her. When they’re done with this adventure, she’ll hold him tight and never let him do anything reckless or dangerous ever again.

She draws her knees up to her chest, slips one hand through Zuko’s and settles down to wait. He has to return soon. He just has to. Then everything will be fine.

***

Zuko’s beginning to get tired but he dare not complain or stop. His mother has been wandering around here for six years, after all. What are a few hours compared to that? Or has it been a few days? He’s not sure. Time has no meaning here.

It’s my fault, the thought flashes through his head. Hadn’t Azula said so, as well? His fault that she had had to take such drastic measures to protect him. His fault that she had been forced to flee. His fault, even, that she had come here to this place as a last resort to seek help. And he has no idea how to reach her, how to rescue her. So far, apart from the word of two spirits there hasn’t even been any sign of her.

The path suddenly widens. The grass and plants disappear and rocks line the way until the road comes to an abrupt stop. Zuko finds himself standing at the top of what looks like a cliff, falling away into a rushing river. The deep gulf is about a mile or so wide and when he looks across he can see the road picking up on the other side. For a second he wishes Katara were with him before he remembers she would not be able to use her powers in this world.

“How do I get across?” He does not mean to speak aloud and he certainly does not expect an answer. But he gets one anyway.

“Build yourself a bridge.”

Zuko looks around at the man that has appeared behind him and his tone is guarded. “Are you real?” He certainly looks real. He looks exactly as he did the last time Zuko saw him.

“Real enough to speak to you, little cousin,” answers Lu Ten.

“How do I build a bridge then?”

“Perhaps a wrong choice of words on my part. The bridge already exists. All you have to do is make it reveal itself.”

“And how do I do that?”

“Let go of that which is holding you back, Zuko. Let go of the negative emotions that are holding you bound.”

“What do you mean?” cries out Zuko. But Lu Ten only raises an eyebrow and smiles enigmatically. Zuko stares up at his cousin, taller than him even now. Zuko’s still growing and he wonders which of them would have been taller by the time he was done, had Lu Ten lived. He wonders if he has outstripped him with his dao swords yet. He wonders what Lu Ten would have felt, sitting on the Fire Lord’s seat, dealing with the pressures and worries that have become Zuko’s daily headache now.

Guilt. There it is, the one feeling that has been keeping him constant company since he stepped foot in here. Guilt over his mother’s disappearance, over bringing Katara here and now, over Lu Ten. Guilt about letting down his uncle again and failing his people and not being able to help Azula.

Zuko looks at Lu Ten, at the young face that will never age, the man cut down while trying to conquer Ba Sing Se in the name of the Fire Nation. Or had he? Uncle had mentioned something once, about Lu Ten’s philosophy not being as cut and dry as his father or grandfather might have wished. Had he really wished to be there at the siege? Had that been Lu Ten’s choice?

His cousin had not died because of Zuko. Zuko had been a child. His guilt at occupying a certain position years after would not change history. Lu Ten’s death could be laid at many doors, Azulon’s, Iroh’s, even Lu Ten’s himself. But not Zuko’s.

As for his mother and Katara and Uncle and Azula, they’d all made their own choices. They’d chosen to do what they did out of love for him or for some other reason and didn’t his guilt over it undermine their agency? Would people who had gone to such great lengths for him really rather he had not existed?

“You’re going to be a good Fire Lord, Zuko,” Aang had said once. “We’ll do it together!” He had so much time left, so many years to make up for past mistakes and bring peace to the world. And carrying the guilt around like a heavy burden would not help anyone. Maybe that's arrogance of a sort, as well, shouldering the problems of everyone and everything in the world. Maybe he needs to learn how to accept help without beating himself up about it. Maybe all these people offer him help because they think he is worth it and his guilt diminishes the magnitude of their choices.

“Good,” laughs Lu Ten and claps him on the shoulder. His eyes are on something beyond Zuko and Zuko turns to find a stone bridge being slowly unveiled, spanning the canyon. The older man’s face softens and he looks down at his cousin. “I’m proud of you. You’ve done well. The spirit world certainly adds perspective and I can honestly say I’m not sure I’d have done half the things you did." He nods at the bridge, "Go on."

Zuko hesitates, “Lu Ten...”

“I know, little cousin. I love you too. Take care of my father, okay? And keep your Fire Lord face on!” He’s gone almost before he’s finished.

Zuko waits a moment, missing the friendly face. Then, he carefully inches his way across the canyon. There are no rails and the bridge is narrow and it stands miles above the black river. He reaches the other end with a sigh of relief which he has to stifle immediately.

Because there sits the ancient tree under which Aang had told them resided Koh.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to post the spirit world chapters in quick succession. Next chapter will be up tomorrow.

Zuko is thankful for Lu Ten’s tip and the other spirit’s warning as he manages to compose his face into a smooth mask so as to show no emotion. It shouldn’t be difficult, he does it before his council and court all the time. But somehow, knowing that this might be a life or death matter makes it so much harder. He takes a deep breath, trying to infuse some of the calm from his morning meditations into himself before stepping forward. For his mother, he’ll face down a thousand spirits like Koh.

At first, on entering the dark cavern at the base of the tree there is nothing to see. It’s dismal and desolate and there’s an echoing silence to it. And then suddenly, with a rustle, a large black centipede rushes down at Zuko from the upper reaches. As a pair of pincers smack together inches from his body and he finds himself almost nose to nose with a Noh mask, Zuko must gather every bit of his courage to not flinch. He wonders how Aang did this and his admiration for the young Avatar rises even further.

“Looking for something, are we, little human?” The voice is whispery, pitched low. The undercurrent of power is the same as with Bu Sin Mai. But her voice hadn’t felt like spiders crawling all over his body.

“I’m looking for my mother, great Koh.” It’s funny, Zuko thinks, that in trying to make his face expressionless, something has leached out all colour from his voice as well. Since when does he sound so...so _machine-like_? It’s funny, except of course, it’s not funny at all.

“And you believe I shall help you? Well, you’d be right. I shall.” Zuko has to fight very hard to prevent any surprise from showing on his face. “For a price.”

Oh. _Of_ _course_.

The spirit drifts around Zuko for a minute or two, not in any hurry at all and he keeps his eyes fixed straight ahead. There is absolutely no sound and Zuko doesn’t dare to turn his head or body to keep the huge monster in sight. It makes the back of his neck itch to have the spirit behind him. “Yes, for a price. The love of two ‘good’ women...no, no, no. That’s asking too much, that’s being greedy, for a person like you. You must choose between the two women who you love most.”

For a moment, Zuko is confused. He has no idea what Koh is going on about before an image of Katara, worried, anxious, looming over him, flashes through his mind. Fear threatens to almost overcome him and as Koh hovers on his bad side, his fists curl and his nails bite into his palms so nothing is visible on his face.

“One you’re searching for. You are so desperate to find her, aren’t you? She’s been lost so long. And the other, waiting for you, anxious for you to wake up. I’ll tell you where to find your mother, I’ll even give you a hint now. She’s near, very near, wandering about in the mist. It would be easy for you to reach her with my help. So then, will you surrender your waterbender to me?”

***

The gasp that wrenches from her throat as she shoots up _hurts_. She looks around swiftly, breathing heavily. The night sky is beginning to lighten, the stars have started to fade. But Zuko, beside her, sleeps on. The third day is coming on and he has barely stirred. Katara wants to sob with frustration.

But at the moment, she is far more frightened of the dream. Her hand tightens around his as if begging Zuko for something that he will not hear if she says aloud.

“What did you see?” Apparently, Bu Sin Mai is back.

“I didn’t...I didn’t _see_ anything. But I heard Zuko speaking to someone.”

The spirit casts a curious glance in the direction of the near-comatose boy. “Visions of the spirit world aren’t uncommon here. But it’s strange that you did not see anything. It’s the sense that registers that realm first” After a pause, she continues, “What did you hear?”

Katara doesn’t want to say. Saying the words will make them real and then what will she do? What if...what if Zuko chooses Ursa? And why shouldn’t he? How can _she_ be more important than the mother that he has spent years longing for?

“Someone...I’m not sure who, offered him a choice between his mother and me. He can save Ursa but he must leave me behind here.” There. Now they’re out there, out for the world to hear. And Katara begins to laugh.

She can see Bu Sin Mai eye her in sympathy. “Are you afraid?”

Katara has to take a few moments to stop laughing. She’s aware she seems crazy but Bu Sin Mai is a spirit and Katara does not think she particularly cares about a human girl’s state of mind. “No.” The word rests there, between them, defiant. And really, as soon as Katara had said the words aloud, she’d understood. It’s ridiculous to have thought otherwise. It’s clear the being who suggested it knows nothing about Zuko. “No, I’m not afraid. Because Zuko doesn’t do that. If the price had been himself, he’d have paid it. A hundred times over. But he won’t ever leave me behind. He’ll search for his mother forever on his own rather than that.”

The huge cat almost seems to be smiling down at her and Katara is surprised to see that it’s not creepy. There’s even some warmth to it.

“He won’t leave me behind. Because I _matter_.”

“I’m glad you realise it.”

***

Zuko only pauses long enough for the words to register, it’s so utterly ridiculous. “No. You will never have her.” As he turns his back and walks out of the roots of the tree, he thinks he even managed to shock Koh. The spirit is absolutely silent for a moment before it lets out a sharp hiss in anger. Zuko almost expects a pincer through his back. But Koh makes no move, doesn’t follow Zuko. The spirit doesn’t even try to stop him. Perhaps Koh realises how much more hopeless my search has become, he thinks bleakly. But there was no other possible answer.

He thinks of Katara forgiving him despite his betrayal, of Katara rushing to his side to heal him, Katara devouring mangoes with a wide smile on her face, Katara glowing with joy as they dance and spin around each other. The power rushing through her as she heals a man on his deathbed, Katara reaching for him and gripping him to her, kissing him back, giving him what he had never dared to dream of. And Koh’s trade-off is a joke.

Zuko stands at the edge of the ancient tree and looks around. Ahead of him lie the bridge and the road he came from. Behind him, Koh’s dismal realm. He can see a huge wolf prowling around the twisted roots but while its lips curl back in a silent snarl at him, it doesn’t attack and Zuko ignores it. His only option is stepping off the path in one of two directions.

For a second he stands still and focuses inward. There’s a little tug in his chest but that’s Katara. He can almost feel her reeling him back to her but he quickly blocks that out. It’s a temptation he cannot afford to give into. He cannot fail. Finally, he decides to head towards the right. It feels correct, it feels like the east although there is no sun or moon to check here. He’d give anything for Agni’s light but without it, east feels like the right direction. They’ve come a long way by going steadily east.

Zuko had never thought he was superstitious. Somehow, the spirit world seems like an odd place to discover it.

It’s strange to find that he does get tired here. After all, this isn’t his physical body. It shouldn’t be aching in exhaustion after a couple of days’ wandering around. Perhaps it’s the fatigue of his mind translating itself in this way. It doesn’t matter. There’s no question of stopping.

The land seems to be sloping downward and the topography around him begins to change from the rocky, stony ground. Grass grows under his feet. It’s the driest, most brown grass Zuko has ever seen but the miniscule sign of life makes him feel better. The sound of the river that was so far beneath him when he had stood at the edge of the cliff begins to grow louder. He hopes he won’t have to cross it again.

And suddenly, right ahead of him, rises a ghostly mist.

Recalling Koh’s words, Zuko speeds up. He cannot believe it. It cannot be this easy. When he had walked out of the spirit’s lair he’d thought he would be wondering about in here for days!

The mist clings. It sticks in his hair and beads in droplets on his forehead and makes it quite uncomfortable to keep walking. It’s also thick to the point that Zuko cannot see four feet ahead of him. Sometimes, he hears footsteps rush by quite near him. At one point, he even feels the brush of some creature against his arm although nothing is visible when he spins around to look. It’s impossible to keep going straight, although Zuko tries his best to keep consistent by gauging the sound of the river to his right.

“Mother! Mum, where are you?” He’s not sure how wise or useful calling out is. But how will he find her otherwise? Maybe she will hear him and come to him. Keeping the first spirit’s words in mind, he doesn’t dare use her name. “Mother!”

A figure rises out of the mist right in front of him and he stops short. She looks exactly like he remembers, black hair pulled up in a partial topknot, simple but well-made clothes, sad eyes. Somehow, he’d thought she would look different, that years of wandering around this dismal place would have left its mark. And yet, nothing is different but her eyes. The eyes are completely blank when they look at him.

“Mother?” His voice is dubious, he knows. It seems too good to be true to simply have her rising up from nowhere. Is she real? Why is she looking at him like that?

“Who are you?” Even the voice is the same one that has echoed through his mind so many times over the last year. The words, on the other hand, are far from the ones he had imagined her saying. The first words to her son in over six years.

“You don’t know me?”

Her eyes scan him, none the wiser. “Forgive me. Should I? It’s all so confusing sometimes.”

He feels like his heart is breaking. Not once in his visions of a joyful reunion had it occurred to him that his mother might not recognise him. “Mum, it’s me. Zuko. Don’t you know me?”

“Zuko,” the words are faint, dreamy. She sounds faraway. “My son.” Then her eyes sharpen as she looks at him and she shakes her head. “My son is a boy. A child. What new trickery is this?”

“No, it’s me! I’ve come for you!”

“Don’t lie to me! Show me your real face, spirit.” He remembers arguments between his parents once. Ursa had never been the type to scream. She’d delivered all her cutting lines against Ozai in the same low voice. She isn’t screaming now either, exactly. But this is the harshest he’s ever heard her.

“I’m not a spirit. I’m Zuko. It’s been six years. You left years ago. Things have changed. _I_ have changed!” His voice rises steadily. Keeping his temper in check has never come easily to him.

“I don’t know what you are trying to do to me this time but this isn’t going to work. This isn’t my son. I know my son. Zuko doesn’t look anything like this! He’s a child. Leave him out of this.”

“Zuko looks like this now.” Anger. Bitterness. Rage. “You don’t know your son anymore. He’s nothing like the boy you knew. You _left_. You left and we’ve _changed_ and you need to come back so you can make it up to me and Azula!”

“Go away.” The words are like a physical push against him. Not just for the hurt they cause but as if she’s shoving him back with her very words.

“No! Mother, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for shouting. _Please_ , listen to me...”

“ _Go away_!”

***

Katara is washing out a little pot when she suddenly hears movement behind her. She drops everything to turn and rush to Zuko only to find him tossing restlessly, a deep furrow in his brow. This is the first time he’s moved in the last three days. She clings to his shoulders and tries to prevent him from thrashing as she calls out helplessly to Bu Sin Mai.

“What is happening? Why is he doing this?”

“He is struggling against something in the spirit world.” The spirit’s voice sounds astonishingly nonchalant as she peers down from her perch on a high tree branch. “Some kind of enchantment. He has to work through it on his own. You cannot help him.”

“Then why am I here?” She almost cries with frustration. “What is the purpose of me being with him if I can’t help him?”

“I thought that was evident.” Katara wants to somehow scratch that amusement from her voice. It surrounds her from all sides, as if the very forest is laughing at the silly little human girl. “You’re here to pull him out, to act as his bridge back to this world. Didn’t I tell you that humans rarely make it out of the spirit world on their own without help?” After a pause, she continues, “Why did you come with Zuko on this mission?”

Katara barely needs to think on that. “Because he needed me. He would not be allowed to go off on his own and he needed someone to watch his back. And I could do that. The two of us, we are a team. We work well together. We’ve saved each other and looked after each other before.” She pauses, “He helped me without question when I had to go after my mother’s killer. He never tried to stop me or question my actions. He just stood by me. So of course, I was going to do the same when he needed me. Because he’s one of the most important people in my life. But I hate this inaction.”

The spirit softens, “I know waiting is terrifying. But when the time comes, you won’t be helpless. When he needs you, you’ll know what to do. Your bond is strong enough.”

***

Despite all his struggles, Zuko finds himself standing on dry grass, at the edge of the mist.


	17. Chapter 17

_Remember that only when your heart is free of all negativities can you succeed._

A warning or a suggestion? They had been practically the last words Bu Sin Mai spoke to him. He hadn’t succeeded at that, though. He thinks back on the anger in his voice when he’d spoken to his mother. The fear that had been clawing at his insides, that he would fail and would be left motherless once again, alone and abandoned.

He studies the mist in front of him. A second chance. At least he has not been tossed right out of the spirit world. He can do this.

He starts forward. A little less hesitant, a little more purposeful. This time, he knows he just needs to keep walking. Ursa will find him when she is ready to have words. Koh had been sure he would not succeed without help, Zuko knows. He’d known finding Ursa would not have been the problem but getting through to her. He’d seen Zuko’s impatience, correctly ascertained his temper and crippling fear. Zuko had almost lost. Perhaps Bu Sin Mai had intervened. Perhaps Ursa’s anger hadn’t been powerful enough to cast him out. Perhaps Zuko’s own stubborn nature had helped him resist. He’s not going to waste this, what he knows will be the last chance.

Ursa shows up on his left this time, emerging out of the mist just as suddenly and soundlessly as before. Her head tilts to the side and she looks at him curiously, like she's never seen him before. He speaks up first. He has to avoid the mistakes of last time. “Hello, who are you?”

She blinks as though confused, as if nobody has asked her that in a long time. Her brows furrow. He studies the little line with an ache in his chest. He’s seen it so many times in the mirror. “My name...is Ursa,” she begins hesitantly. “I’m from the Fire Nation.”

“I’m from the Fire Nation too.” He smiles. It’s painful but he manages. He watches as she draw back warily. “Are you alright?”

“The Fire Nation,” there’s a contemplative quality to her voice. “I’m sailing away from the Fire Nation. I was...I was searching for something.”

“What were you searching for?”

“For a way to rescue my children. To protect them.” He jerks. There is no uncertainty in her words this time. This is her absolute truth.

“They are in danger?”

“Yes,” She frowns. “My husband, he is not a good man. I had to leave, to run. I could not take them. I needed help. So I came here.”

“To the spirit world.”

“Yes.” She looks around a little desolately. “I needed help. But there’s no help here. There’s nothing here. No way out. The guardian of the forest said she would help. But...”

“The guardian of the forest?”

She drags her attention back to him. “Bu Sin Mai. But I failed her mission. I failed my children.”

“You went to extreme measures to help your children. You got lost in a realm that isn’t meant for humans,” It sinks in, as he speaks, just how much she has given up for him. Just how much she has put herself through for them. Six years. “I’m not sure humans can win against higher powers if the spirits don’t mean them to.”

She looks at him in some surprise. “You’re a wise boy. Who are you? What are you doing here? You don't seem lost.”

Here it is. The ultimate test. The one they can’t help each other with. The one that their future will rest on. “Can’t you tell?”

She narrows her eyes, studying him closely. Her light brown eyes sweep every inch of his face, the bones that form it, seemingly cataloguing every eyelash, every ridge of his scar, the curve of his cheeks, every shade of his eyes. It feels like hours that they stand there, motionless, facing each other. Then her eyes widen. “ _Zuko_.”

He thinks the relief might choke him. He could fall down. “Hello mum.”

“My son,” Her eyes fly over his face again, much more swiftly this time, a growing horror there. Her right hand trembles as she lifts it towards his face. “My child!”

Zuko stays still. He allows the touch. His eyes close of their own accord as her soft, cool hand comes to rest on his scarred cheek.

“Did he do this?” There is no need to specify names. Not in this context. There’s only one he. Zuko nods. He presses his lips together and bites down on the inside of his cheek so he won’t break down crying. But Ursa seems to have no such concerns. Tears gather at the corner of her eyes and fall down her cheeks in uninterrupted streams. “And I left you with him.”

“It wasn’t your choice,” he whispers. “This isn’t your fault.”

“Zuko...”

“No, mother. It took me a long time to learn no one but Ozai was to blame for my scar. I won’t let you believe any differently.”

Her hand falls to her side and she begins to look agitated. She glances in every direction, wringing her hands together. “Zuko, what are you doing here? Why did you come here?" She moans. "I can’t have you trapped here as well.”

He dares to step closer this time. To grasp her hands and squeeze gently. She clings to him in return as if she had never wished to let him go in the first place. “I came for you. To rescue you. We won’t be trapped here. You just need to come with me.”

At these words, a sudden wariness descends upon her. She doesn’t let him go but the uncertainty radiates off her in waves. “How can I be sure this is not a trap? This is a dangerous place. So many traps, so much trickery. How can I be sure that this is not another one of those?”

“Do you remember the last words you said to me?” He waits for her to nod. “I remember too. ‘Never forget who you are’. I forgot, mother. For many years, I forgot. Or I didn’t understand. I followed other people, did what they wanted, betrayed myself and others.” He can feel her shaking in misery at his words. “But last year, I came to a decision. To follow where my heart led me. To do what felt right. And I made friends, I made a family. I helped them end the war and bring balance to the world. Today, I followed my heart to you." He pauses. "But you have to decide what to do as well. You have to decide which path to take now. I can help you leave. Will you trust me?” It takes everything he has to leave the decision to her and say no more to attempt to influence her. But she nods. She sets her shoulders and tightens the fingers around his hand and hard lines of determination form on her face. In that moment, it's like looking at Azula twenty years into the future. “Alright then.” He breathes in deep. “Okay.”

For a second, he shuts out the spirit world around him and concentrates inwards. Katara. The tug that leads to her. And there! Shining bright as a moonbeam, the honey and salt scent of her hair, clear as her laughter, Katara pulls at him. Away from the sound of the river, deeper into the wilderness.

At first, Ursa resists when he draws her in that direction. She shakes her head with a frown at being led deeper into unknown territories. But, “You promised to trust me,” he reminds her and she gives in, clutching tight so there is no possibility of separation.

***

Katara, Katara. Someone is calling her. She slips out of her half-dreaming state and sits up straight. There’s no one around. Even Bu Sin Mai has disappeared once again. But there’s a call, a tugging feeling in her chest.

“ _Zuko_!” He needs her. He’s coming back! He’s alright!

She scoots closer to his body, wraps her arms tight around his chest and concentrates on that feeling. On Zuko. On all he has ever made her feel. She clutches him closer and focuses on every moment he’d stood by her, helped her, made her love him. Bringing her tea every evening after bending practice at the Ember Island house. His startled eyes as he’d woken up the morning after the Agni Kai and found her curled up next to him on his bed. The now-familiar affection after she’d brought him some cherry syrup flavoured crushed ice from the market because he’d been unable to go with them. He ate it all in front of her and she only found out later that he hated cherry syrup. It had made something tighten within her chest. The feeling that had flooded her every time she saw his neat, slightly slanted handwriting in the letters he sent faithfully every week.

He’d made a pinprick in her heart in Ba Sing Se, in the cave full of crystals, and then steadily proceeded to dig himself deeper, no matter how much she tried to keep him out. Now her chest feels ready to burst, Zuko and his awkwardness and longing for love having taken up the whole space and made himself at home.

She doesn’t understand how since it’s happening in his mind, but she can almost feel him getting closer. She can feel him pushing aside the space between them as she pulls, the warmth of his presence beginning to surround her.

***

They almost sprint as they draw closer and closer, chasing the spirit and life of Katara across the grey and brown world. He’s surprised that Ursa can keep up with him. But of course, this isn’t her physical body. It’s only a manifestation of a piece of her mind. As they rush by, he can feel the spirit world falling away from all sides. The topography has no clear shapes anymore and the dusty brown-red sky begins to lighten on all sides. He pays attention with half of his mind. Most of him is too focused on following the thread that is Katara, steadily being furled up like a ball of wool as they draw closer and closer.

With a jerk, he skids to a halt at the top of what looks like an immense plateau. He looks around. There’s nothing on either side, no creature, no tree, nothing. Only the edge of the plateau in front and the greyish clouds floating around at the bottom. Katara beckons from down there.

Zuko takes a deep breath and puts an arm around his mother. Ursa has taken one look at their surroundings, determined Zuko's intent and has seemingly frozen in fear. But she doesn’t argue or resist as Zuko gathers up all of his courage and faith in Katara. Then he leaps.

***

Zuko comes to himself with a gasp and a wrenching upward motion. Katara, wound around him, is dragged along but she quickly lets go as he begins to pull in long, deep lungfuls of air. She deflates with relief and watches him calm himself. Zuko only looks around at her when he isn’t gasping anymore.

She makes the first move, she’s sure of it. She lunges toward him and finds herself caught up tight in his arms. She won’t let go and he won’t either and no one can make them and everything will be perfect. Like Zuko’s heart beating under her cheek. Like his arms tightening around her back. Like his face buried in her hair. He’s back and it worked and everything is perfect.

Zuko breaks away just enough to be able to meet her eyes. “Are you okay?”

Katara’s laugh is watery, “I’m fine. I wasn’t the one on a dangerous mission. It was all very ordinary and boring here.”

He kisses her. It’s a brief contact, just a moment of mouth against mouth, the heady rush of pulling off an almost impossible feat. She pushes back and he deepens it and for a moment, they’re all fire and intensity. Then she draws back. “Where is she?”

They look around, his arms still around her. He’s very unwilling to let go and Katara won’t say anything. There’s no knowing what he’s been through in the last few days, what he has had to face.

With a creaking and groaning sound, the roots at the base of one side of the tree shift and move, untwining from each other. Zuko and Katara glance at each other once, before scrambling to their feet. They hurry to the side and find a human-shaped cavity opened up in the tree trunk. Inside, lying still and pale, is Ursa.

***

She’s breathing. Zuko studies her anxiously as she lies on Katara’s bedroll while the waterbender works over her. She’s wan and malnourished and her clothes are practically rags. Her hair has more grey than black. He’s not at all sure that she’ll be able to walk. But she is definitely alive.

Katara sits back. “Physically, she is fine. Other than severe malnourishment. She’s asleep, I think. Call her.”

“Maybe we should let her sleep. How is she not dead? She’s been like this for years!”

“I guess she’s been preserved by spirit magic of some sort. She’s not even as bad as I’d first thought. She needs water and food and rest. But she should be alright.”

Zuko is uncertain. But he moves forward slowly and lays a hand on hers. “Mother? Mother, can you hear me?”

It takes her a bit but eventually she stirs and her eyes blink open. They fall first on Katara and she stares at the girl, puzzled. Then they drift towards Zuko and she hurries to sit up. Both of them move to support her on either side.

Ursa stares at him like she’ll never have enough of drinking him in. “It was real, then.” The wonder in her tone is something Zuko has never heard before. When he glances at Katara, she’s blinking back tears.

“Yes, it’s me.” He smiles, trying to relax under her scrutiny. “You’re back. You’re safe now.”

“My son. Thank you. Thank you.” The tears are unbidden. But it’s okay. She’s crying too. They both are. Maybe it’ll help.


	18. Chapter 18

Katara throws a couple of sticks on the fire and looks at Zuko and Ursa seated together on a bedroll, speaking in soft murmurs. Zuko had been uncertain about the fire but she had insisted that if they just used some of the sticks fallen on the ground, Bu Sin Mai wouldn’t object much. As it is, there has been no sign of the spirit since Zuko and Ursa woke up. He appears next to her and helps her take out the last of their food. They will have to head back the next day. They cannot afford to give Ursa more time to recover unless they wish to starve. She’ll have to manage the best she can.

“Is she alright?”

“She’s absorbing everything, I guess.”

Katara hums. “A lot _has_ happened in the last few years.” She heads towards Ursa with a plate. The older woman smiles up at Katara and thanks her softly for the food. They haven’t really spoken beyond basic introductions and they’re both unsure about what to say and how to approach each other. Ursa hesitantly asks about her home and Katara is eager to jump in and share some things about the Southern Water Tribe to break the uncertain silence. Zuko stays quiet, watching them interact. He only breaks in once or twice when Katara begins to describe some of the adventures of Team Avatar. She’s careful to stick to some of the funnier ones when Zuko was with them and not their earlier interactions.

When Ursa decides to go to bed, Zuko and Katara move further off. She listens to the entire story, casts a cautious glance at his sleeping mother and dares to nestle closer to him. If he is surprised, he doesn’t show it. He’s quick to put an arm around her and pull her closer, resting his head on top of hers.

“Thank you, Katara.”

“You don’t have to keep thanking me. You would have done it for me.”

He sighs. “I would have. But I’m glad you didn’t have to journey there.” She finds a loose thread in his tunic on his chest and curls it around her finger. “You were really alright here, by yourself? Nothing happened?”

“Other than some chats with Bu Sin Mai? No. I think she likes me.”

“Of course she does. Who wouldn’t?”

She shoots him a grin and he has to smile back, the soft one where his eyes look more amber than gold. “Well, it really was quite dull other than that.” She frowns, “It wasn’t pleasant, being left to wait. I felt so helpless. I felt like I couldn’t do anything for you.”

“We wouldn’t have gotten out without you. I could feel you, the entire time. Like a tug somewhere inside, reminding me that you were there for me. That you’d pull me back to you if there was any point that I couldn’t do it anymore.”

She doesn’t have any response to that. She doesn’t try to move away from him either. It’s not the most comfortable position for either of them but they don’t let go. For tonight at least, they have each other.

***

Ursa has begun to tire long before the trees start to thin but she keeps going with sheer grit. Katara has to admire the woman’s determination and doesn’t know why she is surprised. Zuko must have got it from her.

He’s supporting her and it looks like every grimace on her face pains him as well. He’d probably have carried her the entire way if he could. But when they break out of the tree line, the sight that greets them shocks even him into letting go of her. Ursa staggers but stays upright.

“Katara! Zuko!” Katara is flabbergasted to find Sokka pacing around just outside of Lifan village. Suki and Toph sit nearby but they jump to their feet at Sokka's cry. A minute later, Aang lands right in front of them, glider in hand.

“What are you all doing here?” Zuko questions but Katara has already run forward to throw herself into her brother’s arms. He embraces her tightly once before stepping back. Then she and Zuko are surrounded. Suki’s hugging her too and even Aang seems to get over the awkwardness of their last meeting to hug her back. Toph grins and punches her on the arm, resentment apparently forgotten.

Aang looks at Ursa, standing off to one side, her face a picture of bewilderment. “Hello! You must be Zuko’s mum.”

“Yes...yes, Avatar. I’m honoured to meet you.”

“Oh,” Aang looks taken aback by the formality. “It’s Aang, please. Zuko’s one of my best friends. I’m glad you’re well. We were worried.”

“You still haven’t answered my question. What are you doing here?”

They look at each other. Then, Suki speaks up. “We should go back to village first. Come on, Master Getu has been hosting us.”

***

“Some weeks ago, the Fire Nation palace was attacked,” Toph begins. Her brows are furrowed. “The rebels knew, somehow, that you weren’t there. They came in the middle of the day, tried to stage a coup, to get at Gramps and capture him.” She seems to sense Zuko tense or maybe she just knows him well enough because she hurries to add, “He’s fine. He wasn’t hurt.”

“Was anyone hurt?”

Aang looks unusually somber. “A few guards were killed. It was a day when the Council was in session. I think...” He mulls over it thoughtfully, “I think they didn’t expect the Council to oppose them as they did. Minister Nin was hurt. She got burned. And your trade minister, Toko. He was pretty badly hurt.”

Zuko’s hands clench. “Do they know who was responsible?”

“We don’t know,” Toph breaks in. “Aang was in Caldera. He’d just arrived a day ago. So we left immediately after to look for you. We followed rumours of a Fire Nation cruiser in the southern Earth Kingdom. Picked up these two along the way.”

Aang adds, “Not many people could have spread the news that you were away though. Iroh said everyone at the palace was to be trusted. So it must have been from that island you stopped at.”

“But we didn’t reveal our names!” Katara protests. “Hardly anyone saw us!”

“Shen,” Zuko says grimly. “It must have been him. He wasn’t arrested, was he?” He looks at Toph.

“For the coal scam? No, there was nothing to link it to him. He protested he didn’t know anything and the men you two caught wouldn’t speak up. So the most Gramps could do was accuse him of negligence of the happenings around him.”

“What about the captain of the navy who you sent the letter to?” Katara speaks up. “It could have been him. He didn’t even need to act himself. All he needed to do was get the news to someone who _would_ act.”

“We reached here three days ago. When Sokka found out where you had gone he wanted to go rushing into the forest at once but Master Getu persuaded us to wait a bit,” Suki says.

“I thought I should at least help, as the Avatar,” Aang adds. “But he thought that you needed to handle it yourself and that the spirit of the forest wouldn’t like me to interfere.”

“Yes, Bu Sin Mai wasn’t big on interference,” Katara sighs. “How long were we gone anyway? I lost track.”

“He says it’s been more than a week.” Katara frowns at Suki. It hadn’t seemed like that long. Five or six days was more like it. Still, this _is_ the Spirit World. And things are a little wonky there so perhaps she shouldn’t be surprised.

“I have to get back. I have to deal with this.” The Fire Lord is back. Their friend Zuko has disappeared behind his customary mask again. She can’t think about that right now so she turns to her brother.

“What are you doing here? It can’t be because of the Fire Nation happenings.”

“No. I got a letter from Dad. When Aang and Toph turned up and said they were off looking for you, I thought I should come along. It’s Ikiaq. He’s presented as a waterbender.” Katara is a little surprised. Ikiaq would have recently turned eight. That’s quite late. But she glances at the boy beside her, remembering an evening when he’d confided that he’d been well over six before he bent fire. She thinks of how powerful he has become now. Sokka’s next words drag her full attention back. “And Master Karri isn’t well. Like at all. And a shipload of people has arrived from the North and there are three girl benders among them. So, Dad really needs us back now, you especially.”

It’s almost too much information at once. More benders to teach, some from the Northern Water Tribe. And Karri. She can read between the lines, hear what Sokka is not stating. It’s obvious that she needs to return as soon as she can. Her people are now more in need of her than ever.

Their mission, their days and nights together, the whispered conversations are really over. The real world is calling them back.

***

“Do you ever feel like life isn’t fair? That it’s asking more from you than you can give?” Zuko looks down at her. They leave the next morning, each in opposite directions. This is their last night together, as the others sleep.

“Sometimes,” he sighs. “I wish this hadn’t happened right now. After everything, I wish we could have had some time together.”

“When will we meet again?”

Zuko smiles at her. “Aren’t you coming to the anniversary at Ba Sing Se at the end of the summer?”

“You’ve been invited already?”

“No, but I will have to go. There’ll be diplomatic stuff to deal with as well.”

“Diplomatic ‘stuff’? There’s no rest for us, huh?”

“Still, we’ll be together.” He carefully and deliberately places his hand down beside hers, his longer fingers coming to rest on hers. A frisson of heat shoots through her. “You will come?”

“Of course.” She turns her face. Yes, she’s a coward. But she cannot do this while looking at him. “Zuko, these last few weeks with you, despite everything, I’ve been happy. I wouldn’t have changed any of it. I...I knew long ago that you were one of the most important people in my life and...I love you.” Sometimes, it's as simple as that. And as frightening.

A sharp gasp makes her look around. Zuko is staring at her with unblinking eyes. He looks like he has never heard the words before in his life. Or maybe, he never expected to hear them from her. As if this is the most astounding declaration anyone has ever made to him. Tenderness fills her. If she hadn’t loved him before, she would have melted in that moment. With all that Zuko is, the way he acts and behaves with her, was it even a choice?

“Zuko...?”

He breathes in deeply once. His eyes are still fixed on her. “I’ve loved you for longer than you can know.” The words are hushed, almost lost in the night, but they make her heart swell. She tips forward, throwing herself into his arms and kisses him. His mouth, his cheeks, his nose, his forehead, his eyes. She hears his breath catch when her mouth brushes across his scar. And then he catches her lips with his, his hands moving up to cup her cheeks. There's warmth everywhere. The roughness of his fingers against her skin, the shape of his lips on hers, the solidness and warmth of _Zuko_ against her body makes her near incoherent. There's no thought in her head, just the emotions they are both drowning in. She instinctively bites down on his lower lip and the sound Zuko makes causes her to tremble. He tilts his head and kisses her so hard she sees stars on the backs of her eyelids.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” It’s a whisper on his skin. She’s not even sure why it matters now but for some reason it does.

“You already had so much on your mind. And you were leaving, going home. I didn’t...I didn’t want to be a burden.”

She envelopes herself in Zuko, his arms, his smell, his _love_ and tries to banish from his mind the notion that he could ever be a burden.


	19. Chapter 19

The journey back to the Fire Nation is much faster than the one he and Katara had made. Toph and Aang attempt to engage him in conversation in the days that follow but he is distracted and preoccupied. His mind whirls between worries for his mother, who is quieter than he remembers; the mess that is awaiting him back at Caldera and Katara.

Everything within Zuko revolts at leaving Katara behind after their last night together. They’d almost clung to each other the following morning on the cruiser, unwilling to part. With all their friends and his mother around they hadn’t gotten much time for a farewell but Katara had whispered that they had to keep in touch _constantly_ and Zuko had kissed her on top of her head and promised they would meet soon. That had been all there was time for and his chest already aches for missing her.

“Hey,” Aang says from his place on Appa’s head. “I can see Caldera. We should be there soon.”

Ursa goes tense. “Are you alright?” he asks her, anxiety shooting through him at the look on her face.

“I’ll be fine, Zuko. Don’t worry about me.” The smile she manages to dredge up for him is gentle. “It’s just that things have changed so much. And from what you’ve told me about Azula, I’m worried.”

“She might not be very friendly at first,” His hand creeps up to his chest. Seeing his mother’s glance, he forces it down to his lap. “She’s quite unpleasant to me and Uncle and her friends. She thinks we all betrayed her. You too. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. Taking care of Azula was not your responsibility.” She sighs. “All the adults in your life have let you two down, son. I’m tougher than I look right now. I can deal with your sister. It’s not your place to worry about me.”

“I know you’re tough. You’ve more than proved that,” he whispers. “You shouldn’t have to be though.”

“Everything will be alright, Zuko.” She raises her hand and brushes some of the longer strands away from his eyes. His hair really grows at an alarming rate.

Zuko feels warmth at his other side and finds that Toph has crept towards them during this conversation and is leaning into his side. It’s one of her rare displays of affection and vulnerability. Either the continuous flying is getting to her. Or, which he thinks is more likely, the attempted coup freaked her out a little more than she admitted. He knows better than to ask her if she is okay though. Unlike Ursa, Toph won’t give voice to her fears in front of a stranger. So he silently lets her lean into him until she’s almost in his lap.

There are more guards around the palace than Zuko has ever seen before. As soon as Appa was spotted, news had apparently gone around because they find Uncle and half of Zuko’s council standing out in the courtyard to greet them.

The next couple of hours are a fog in his memory. His Head-of-Staff, Mistress Sen, quickly ushers Ursa off to her rooms. Zuko is led off to the council chamber without being given an opportunity to change or refresh himself. Even Uncle does not protest this, so things must be very grim indeed. Toph and Aang stick close to him like a couple of little bodyguards as if assassins will leap out of every corner. There’s a frightening amount of news to catch up on and work to be done. The men who have been rounded up after the attempted coup have been interrogated and await judgement. There are many of Ozai’s erstwhile officials and members of some of the noblest Fire Nation families amongst them and Zuko has to decide what to do with them. Too many executions is just asking for trouble and might cause widespread riots. But how does he go about incarcerating half the noble families in the Fire Nation?

He learns for the first time that there was an attempt to ‘free’ Azula from the hospital as well and is thankful that he had stationed additional guards around the area. The council has come forward with plans for moving Azula to another, less well-known location but he isn’t willing to sign off on anything until his mother and sister have met.

Zuko can only be grateful that none of the ambassadors from the other nations were hurt in the attack, even though the envoy from Ba Sing Se had actually been within the palace at the time. That would have caused unimaginable setbacks in the Fire Nation’s relations with the other countries.

By the time he is allowed out of the council chambers and to his rooms, it is night and Zuko almost collapses from exhaustion.

***

Ursa’s fingers are twisted around the sleeves of her robes. It’s the only outward sign of her nervousness. But Zuko can feel it and it permeates to him to the point that he is edgier about the meeting with Azula today than he has been for many months.

His sister is standing in front of the window, looking as dull and listless as ever. The sound of the door opening barely catches her attention but at sight of Ursa, she seems to freeze. His mother looks different enough from when they’d last seen her that Zuko supposes she cannot be mistaken as a hallucination. Her grey-streaked hair and thinness has caused everyone who’d previously known her to recoil in shock. She keeps her emotions firmly in control but he can tell how upset and disconcerted she is to be back here. He hopes Azula does not react too negatively to Mother so he can acquiesce to his council’s demands and get them both away from Caldera for a while.

“What is this?” Azula backs away from them both. There’s a frantic look in her eyes that he has never seen before, like for once her first instinct is escape and not confrontation. “Who are you? What trick is this?”

“Azula,” Mother steps forward. Zuko can see she is attempting to be careful, not make any sudden movements, not scare Azula even more. “Hello, dear.”

“No. No, this isn’t real.” She shuts her eyes, shaking her head. “You aren’t real. You aren’t here. Go away!”

A shock goes through Zuko. The same words, said in that same desperate tone. “Azula, it’s Mother. I brought her back. I told you I was going to find her, remember.”

“Mother’s gone. She’s disappeared. She is not real.”

“She is!” He insists. “I found her. Just let her speak to you.”

“She left.”

“Forgive me for that, daughter. I did not mean to leave you by yourself.”

Her head shoots up. Her eyes are fire. “You aren’t real. _Go away_.” Then, she quickly turns her back to them, refusing to acknowledge anything else.

“I am real. I want to tell you something, Azula. The last night I left, you were fast asleep. I couldn’t wake you. You were such a heavy sleeper when you were little, I didn’t want to disturb you. So I left my pendant on your pillow. The amber one which had belonged to your grandmother, which I’d promised you when you were five.”

His sister seems to falter. Her shoulders slump. Zuko does not know what his mother is talking about. He’s never seen any pendant. Azula doesn’t usually wear any ornaments. But studying her, he becomes aware that she does at least seem to know what Ursa is talking about. Her demeanour becomes a little more uncertain.

“What are you doing here? How did you get here?”

“I’m sorry I’ve been gone for so long. I was looking for help and I got trapped. Zuko just got me back. And the first thing I needed to do was visit you.”

“You left.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t feel like I had a choice at the time. I’ll spend my life making it up to you and your brother.”

Azula finally turns and makes eye contact. “How?”

“We...we can talk? Let’s have some tea together, alright? You can ask me whatever you want.” Azula makes no reply, just watches Mother with unwavering face and lips pursed tight. “I’ll call for tea. Lychee nut? That was your favourite, wasn’t it?”

“I only have Jasmine now.” Not true. He hasn’t seen Azula drink any tea in months. He suspects she’s trying to be difficult.

“Alright. Alright, I’ll call for Jasmine.”

“And I want cherries. With the pits removed.” Well, at least she’s acting somewhat like the old Azula. Zuko will take brat over erratic mass-murderer any day.

“That might be a little difficult,” Ursa begins diplomatically. It’ll be impossible. Spring has just come around and cherries are not in season for a few months still. But Zuko sees no reason to interfere. He’s satisfied that Azula isn’t gone to burn anything down today and he has other things to attend to. He backs away. The other two don’t even notice.

***

_Dear Katara,_

_Do you remember when we were sitting on top of Appa, on the way to the Fire Nation, and you reassured me that everything would be okay? You were talking about the end of the war. I bet you had no idea what would come afterwards, did you? Did you ever imagine that rebuilding would be this hard? That we’d face so many challenges? I almost want to run away to you and forget the Fire Nation._

_I can hear you thinking, ‘Zuko, you hate the cold. And running away is not like you anyway’. You’re right. Neither of us can run from our duties, can we?_

_The attempted coup has shaken everyone here. There are more guards on duty than I have ever seen before. Uncle and Toph do not allow me to go anywhere unaccompanied. The senior members of five of the Fire Nation noble families face trials soon and the rest stew in silence. We’ll have to take harsh measures. The judges will probably rule that they be imprisoned for life. Agni knows what havoc that will cause._

_The entire Fire Nation doesn’t hate me, though! I was pretty happy to know that some of the neighbouring islands made worried enquiries about my state of health when they heard of the coup. And the people on the streets were unusually eager to see me as I walked to the hospital. Uncle wants to stop that as well but I hate those stuffy palanquins. I’m not going to give up on walking._

_It was Shen that leaked the news. Investigations have revealed that. He spoke to some of the villagers after our ‘covert mission’ and got descriptions of us. We should have been more careful. I’m not sorry we helped. It was necessary. I just wish we could have done it in a way that wouldn’t have resulted in this. This was my fault. The people who died, Minister Toko too, all my fault. I mess up even when I try to help._

_Mother is better. She and Azula are attempting to mend bridges. It’ll take time, though. There’s a long way to go still. She goes out of her way to try and take care of me too. It’s odd to have her worrying over whether I’m eating or sleeping enough. For so long, Uncle was the only one to do that. And then you guys too. But it’s different with her. I don’t know how to deal with it._

_I hope you reached without any troubles. I hope you are well. I hope you find Master Karri better._

_I miss you already._

_Yours always,_

_Zuko_

***

“Did you discover anything in the Earth Kingdom then?”

They’re at dinner and it’s unusual enough that Zuko is having dinner with his family and friends instead of in his study but with the first day of trials over, he is just too tired.

Aang looks up from his food. “Oh, well no. Not what I was hoping for. I may have found some _indications_ of something. But no air nomads.” He attempts to not look sad and Zuko’s heart twists.

“What indications?” He tries, gently.

“Indications that not everyone was killed off in the...the genocide. I was mostly following some rumours I’d heard and I found these caves where there was some indications that air nomads may have taken shelter,” He shrugs. “There were some very old utensils left behind. That could have been before though. My people wouldn’t have done well in hiding. It’s not in our natures.”

Toph frowns. “How do you know they aren’t hidden among the general people of the earth Kingdom though? They may not be airbenders but perhaps there are people whose ancestors were air nomads.”

“I thought of that. But I’m not sure what I can do in that case. I can’t go looking at the lineage of all the people in the Earth Kingdom.” Silence falls for a few minutes. “But I do need your help with some things, Zuko, Toph.” They look up at him immediately in question. “I want to restore the Air Temples. And I know they’re mostly stone so I’ll need the help of earthbenders...”

“I can help!” She pipes up.

“Aang, I will provide resources, you have my word. The Fire Nation owes reparations to the Air Nomads more than anyone and I know you kept evading it at the peace talks last year, but whatever you need...”

“I don’t have any money,” Aang offers tentatively. “Or builders.”

“I’ll get you money,” Zuko’s voice is as firm as he can make it. “And I’m sure Kuei and Bumi will be able to help with builders.”

“My parents too.” Toph sounds unusually serious. “I’ll get them to help.”

Ursa looks down at her plate. If the sight of children discussing war reparations and restoration projects feels off to her, she does not say anything.


	20. Chapter 20

The further south they sail, the more the feeling of dread increases. Katara is uncertain about what awaits her in the South Pole. They leave the Fire Nation cruiser at Kyoshi with Suki and hop onto a Southern Water Tribe trading vessel returning home.

The harbour has an unusual amount of activity for winter and Katara can clearly make out the Northern Water Tribe ship anchored at one end. She exchanges looks with Sokka but the sight of her father waiting on the docks sweeps everything aside. It hasn’t even been three months but she throws herself into his arms with fervour.

Hakoda hugs her tight for a few minutes before letting go to clap Sokka on the shoulder. “I’m glad you’re both back. We could do with the help.”

“Master Karri?” Her voice trembles. She cannot help it.

“She’s in her home.” He looks grim. It’s clear from his face that she won’t recover from this. Katara almost runs to her mentor’s home.

Karri is in her bed which is piled high with furs and rugs. A large fire burns in the fire pit but she still doesn’t look very warm. Hama sits nearby stitching what looks like a parka and Kallik bustles around, preparing soup. All three women look up when Katara bursts through and Karri smiles.

“Sifu,” her voice breaks. She will not cry, she _won’t_! But it’s hard.

“Hello child. How was your trip? Your mission was successful?”

“Never mind my mission. How are you?”

“I’m alright, don’t worry about me.” She breaks off into a coughing fit and Hama carefully pours her some warm water from a kettle near the fire. After swallowing, Karri resumes, “Did you see many exciting things?”

Realising that trying to talk about her health is hopeless, Katara seats herself by the bed and tells her waterbending teachers all about her and Zuko’s adventures. The tale of their vanquishing Hiyikka’s ruffians brings smiles to their faces while the account of Bu Sin Mai’s forest is listened to in awed silence. They make no comments when Katara tells them of bloodbending and she cannot tell if they are pleased or not. At some point Kallik leaves the room and it’s just the three of them.

“Master Karri, I’m so sorry. Is there nothing we can do? Nothing to help?”

“You cannot grow me new lungs, child. Don’t fret over me...”

“How can I not? You’ve...you’ve been through so much. And we’ve just got you back,” she chokes, trying to hold back her tears. “I just...”

“Katara, listen to me. I thought I was going to die in that prison, that bone-dry pit. _You_ got me out. You ended a war, brought me home. Because of you and your brother and your friends, I got to spend my last year at home, surrounded by friends, by my element. Don’t say sorry. Don’t cry. Don’t think it was a waste. Just promise me that you’ll teach these girls and all the new children our style and not let it die out.”

“I promise.”

“Good. I’m _so_ proud of you. I could not have asked for a better student.”

***

Gran-gran and Gran-Pakku both clutch her close when she makes her way to their home in the evening. Her favourite sea-prune stew has been prepared for dinner. One more time she regales them with her adventures after Sokka and her dad join them. They listen with just as much close attention and have a million questions. But Katara has questions as well. “Dad, who are these benders that have come here?”

Hakoda looks tired. More tired than Katara has seen him in a while. “Sik, Iarih and Nanneh come from the Northern Water Tribe. They heard about how Karri and Hama are teaching combat bending here and, of course, they know about you, Katara. It inspired them. Apparently, they were willing to even cut off their more conservative parents and travel all the way here to learn.”

“Oh,” She’s a little taken-aback. “How old are they?”

“Sik and Iarih are about the same age as you. Nanneh is a little older, in her twenties. They’re all very eager to learn.”

“And they weren’t ready to be betrothed off,” breaks in Kanna gleefully. “So they decided to come here and see if they would be accepted into the Southern Water Tribe.”

“We’ll take them, of course. Right Dad?”

“You’ll hear no objections from me but it’s to be discussed in the meeting tomorrow.”

Sokka frowns. “What’s to be discussed?”

“Well, some of the benders from the North Pole are very unhappy about the situation. They want the girls to be sent off back north immediately. Hormaq said that the fact that we’re even indulging this request is sacrilegious.”

“That’s rubbish! What about me and Karri and Hama and Tanaraq?”

“You aren’t from the Northern Water Tribe so it’s different for you. They don’t expect the same rules to apply,” Master Pakku speaks up.

“You can’t possibly agree with this!” Katara is outraged.

“No,” His voice is dry but he looks amused, which is more emotion than Gran-Pakku usually shows. “I learned my lesson with you. If these girls want to learn combat bending, I won’t stand in their way. I can help you with your lesson plans.”

“You want me to give them lessons? Me?”

“Certainly. We can work that out between you, me and Master Hama. There are the children too. So we’ll have our hands full.”

“We just have to get through this meeting first,” Her dad sighs.

***

That’s easier said than done. There comes a point in the constant arguments where Katara wants to drown some of the fat-headed men from the North. While a few who have gotten used to the Southern way of life present no arguments and defer to the ‘Chief’s decision’ a small group stubbornly stick to their stance of sending the women back. Katara cannot understand how anyone can be so hard-hearted after hearing the passionate way Nanneh presents their cases. She wants to throw her arms around them and welcome them to the Tribe immediately and start planning lessons right off. When she cries out that she would _love_ to have some companion waterbenders her age to practice with, they shoot her venomous looks. Even Sokka looks annoyed on her behalf.

Finally, after hours of wasted time, it comes down to a vote. And unsurprisingly, the women are allowed to stay. Katara grins at them as Hakoda formally bids them welcome and while Nanneh and Iarih seem a little reserved, Sik grins back.

She wishes she could spend some time getting to know the other girls but she cannot leave her Master for too long anymore. It is quite clear to everyone that the end is near and Katara wants to spend every moment that she can beside her Karri, giving her some comfort in these last few days. So with hurried introductions out of the way, she has to rush off to check on the older waterbender. Her teacher is asleep when she arrives and Katara finds herself cloistered alone with Hama. Her relationship with the latter is still strained, despite the fact that Hama has stepped forward to lend a hand in her lessons in the past. Neither can quite forgive the other. But for the sake of the well-being of the Tribe, they manage to get on.

“I may have learnt to use bloodbending of my own will,” Katara begins after half-an-hour of silence. “But what you did was still wrong. I deserved better than the way you used me. I learned that on this trip. I deserved better than the way people often treated me.”

“Did your boy tell you that?” Hama asks, her nose wrinkling like it usually does at mention of Zuko.

“He’s not...” Katara stops. What can she say, after all? It would be a lie to deny it. “Zuko didn’t tell me that exactly. But he played a part in me learning it, all the same.”

Hama is silent for some time. Then, “You’re right. I was wrong. I went about it the wrong way. You’d be correct in thinking I betrayed you. But you betrayed me as well. You and your friends judged me without ever having been in my situation....”

“You were hurting innocents!”

“Were they innocents? They were Fire Nation. They all had children, siblings, parents they’d sent off to the war.”

“Not by choice! It’s more complicated than that. The war was more complicated than that.”

“The Fire Nation citizens weren’t being attacked by invading armies or being shipped off to prison halfway across the world or being starved and tortured.”

“I saw a village that was being starved because the leaders of the Fire Nation thought power was more important than their own people. I know the Fire Nation did terrible things. I’ve travelled all the way around the world and seen the effects of the war. I’m sorry about what happened to you. I’m sorry you had to go through that. But what you did to those people was wrong.”

Hama studies her for a long moment. “I’m sorry for betraying you, Katara. As for those people, I did what felt right to me then. Perhaps it was wrong. Perhaps they didn’t deserve it. Perhaps, on the other hand, they weren’t quite so innocent of the crimes of their nation.” Katara opens her mouth but then closes it. She knows this is the biggest concession Hama can make. She’ll take it. “I don’t think we’ll ever be friends like you and Karri are. But we can call a truce. I’ll promise to work with you to rebuild the Southern style of waterbending if you promise the same.”

Katara eyes the old woman who was her first Southern waterbending teacher, her nemesis, her nightmare for a while. “I promise”. It’s a surprisingly simple promise to make.

***

_Dear Zuko,_

_Master Karri passed away two days ago. It hurt more than I thought it would. She wasn’t in my life long but she made an indelible impression. I can never give back to her what she gave me, what had almost been lost, but I can help a little by keeping my promise to carry on in her footsteps._

_So, here I am. A teacher of waterbending. And not of just one student either. Hama, Master Pakku and I have worked out a schedule. Officially, I’m teaching the kids but I’m going to be helping out the girls with their duels and other things. Sik is great fun. She reminds me of Aang except of course, she’s a lot more serious about bending. But she’s already tried to talk me into sneaking into the ice berry wine reserves one night. Iarih is shy. She’s the most talented of the three but her lack of confidence holds her back. She can do things with healing I’ve never even imagined before. I'm working with her and by the time we meet again, I’ll be a better healer. But you better not need one!_

_Nanneh is remarkable. She’s one of the most intense people I’ve ever met. Her parents both passed away before she was twenty. She’s got two much younger siblings and she brought them along when she walked away from the Northern Water Tribe. They really look up to her and I can see why. But she’s so reserved, it’s going to take me sometime to crack the shell around her. She reminds me of you, really._

_That’s my news. It’s so strange, how life doesn’t really stop for anything, even death. Karri is gone and I’ve barely had time to grieve because I’ve had to jump headfirst into this new life of teaching and work and practice. I try to think that I’m carrying on her legacy and it’s what she would have wanted too. I’m also trying to talk Sokka down from the extremely ambitious plans he has of a school on top of the glacier._

_It’s not your fault, Zuko. We did what we thought was best. Only Shen and the people who acted on that information are to blame for the attack. I know you’ll do what is best for your people, even if it’s hard for you. But please take care._

_I miss you too. Sometimes, our time together seems like a dream. Did that happen? Was it real?_

_I love you_

_Katara_

***

“Katara?” Katara swiftly pulls on her parka and turns to look at Sik. Winter is almost coming to an end in the South Pole but it’s still not really ideal conditions to be practicing bending outside. And yet, the girls are so eager to try out the new moves they had learned and Katara wants to help as much as she can. “I wanted to say thank you for all that you are doing for us, for all that you have done before.”

“Oh Sik, you don’t need to thank me. Isn’t it the right of every bender to explore their abilities to the full?”

“Yes, but we didn’t think that was an option until recently.” It’s a rare moment of seriousness for the irrepressible Sik. “Your people didn’t need to let us stay. And you didn’t need to spend so much time dueling with us. Particularly when you’ve just lost your teacher.”

“I made her a promise that I would help others as she’d helped me. That’s all I’m doing. And it helps to carry on when I think of it like that. Plus, I’ll be gone for a few weeks again during the peace talks. I wanted to give you a head start to make up for my absence then.”

“You’ve got a lot going on,” Sik sounds almost admiring.

“Well, we’ve been invited by King Kuei for the anniversary. We couldn’t very well refuse. Plus, I think it’s important to have the people of all the nations meeting and coming to agreements once a year. Sometimes it’s all just talk, of course. But maybe it’ll help prevent another war.”

Sik leans forward impulsively, an eager light in her eyes. “I can’t help in the way you do. But I would like to do my bit. As soon as I’ve learned everything, I would be happy to work alongside you with new benders, if you’d have me. Iarih and Nanneh probably feel the same.”

Katara grins at her. “I’d be proud to teach alongside you.”


	21. Chapter 21

“You’ll be safe, won’t you? Don’t go out by yourselves. Ember Island is going to be crawling with those old noble families at this time. Are you sure you can manage Azula by yourself?”

“Zuko,” his mother steps forward and gently cups his cheeks. He notices with some surprise for the first time that her eyes actually stand an inch below his. “You have assigned almost an entire platoon of guards to us, all of whom have been cross-examined by Miss Beifong multiple times. I know how to take precautions. And I can deal with Azula’s tantrums by now, even if the nurse were not coming along. Please stop worrying and go and do a good job.”

“Sorry, mum.” His brow wrinkles, almost of its own accord. “I’m just...”

“Used to taking care of everything, I know. But there’s nothing more to take care of here. We’ll be fine.”

“I’ll miss you.”

She hugs him. “I’ll miss you too.”

Toph joins him as he walks back towards his chambers, after seeing his mother and sister off. She’s grumbled a bit about having to sail to the Earth Kingdom. As much as she doesn’t enjoy flying, apparently sailing agrees with her even less. Even when Uncle had pointed out that Aang had other duties and Appa’s job wasn’t to personally ferry her around, Toph had gone on moaning about the situation like a brat. Ultimately, Zuko had threatened to leave her behind. She’d buried him during bending practice that evening but had stopped complaining ever since.

“What do you think the other nations will have to say about our plans?”

“They’ll acknowledge how awesome they are, of course,” Toph answers with her usual self-confidence. But then she adds, “I think we’ll have to argue it a bit but they’ll accept it as common sense in the end. There’s no way they can say this is going to directly benefit the Fire Nation. And they can’t just cast those people from the colonies out of their homes.”

Zuko sighs. “Any news from Aang?”

“He said he’ll be there by the time we get to Ba Sing Se. We can pitch it to the King first. There’ll be time.” A pause, then with a sly smile, Toph asks, “What news from Katara?”

Zuko frowns down at the little earthbender and wishes she could see it. He tries to make his voice as nonchalant as possible. “The Southern Water Tribe delegation should reach the day of the official start of the ceremonies. They’ve all had a lot of work to do so it’s no surprise that it’ll be last minute.”

“Poor you,” she says.

Zuko makes no pretence of hiding his annoyance as he flicks her on the head.

***

Ba Sing Se is the same as ever as she and Sokka almost hang out of the windows of their carriage to take everything in. It’s almost reminiscent of their first visit except of course, there’s no sign of the Dai Li anywhere which they can only be grateful for. By the time they draw up to the palace and find Toph impatiently jumping up and down on the steps, they’re glad to get out of the closed carriage. Suki stands nearby. The Kyoshi Warriors had arrived two days ago. Hugs and cuddles ensue.

“Jeez, it’s like you guys haven’t seen me in years rather than a couple of months ago,” says the earthbender but they can all tell she’s pleased so they ignore it.

Sokka looks around. “Where’s Aang and Jerkbender?” Katara is glad that her brother said it so she wouldn’t have to even if she objects to his so-called affectionate term for Zuko.

Toph shrugs. “They’ve been in a meeting with Kuei for the last hour.”

“Already? The meetings aren’t supposed to start for a few days. Man, I expected this from Zuko but it looks like he’s influencing Aang too! Since when does _he_ work overtime?”

Katara frowns at her brother. “Hey, Aang’s the Avatar and he’s rebuilding the Southern Air Temple now. I’m sure he has a lot to talk to King Kuei about.”

“Oh no. This is about the colonies,” Toph breaks in blithely. “But you guys will find out about it soon. Come on, I’ll show you to your rooms.” She waves off a harried-looking attendant. “The palace might be confusing for you all.”

Being shown around by Toph doesn’t make it much more intelligible. Directions which range from ‘go in the direction of the floors that slope to the right’ and ‘the marbley rooms to that side are the conference halls’ aren’t exactly clear indicators for non-earthbenders but Katara does at least find her room. She’ll figure out the rest once she’s freshened up.

There’s a knock on the door and she hurries across to open it. Zuko stands on the other side in his Fire Nation regalia, dark-red and black tunic and hair pinned up with the Flame crown. His face is a picture of uncertainty that melts away as soon as she throws herself forward.

He catches her quickly, arms going fully around her and steps forward so they don’t create a scene out in the corridor. Inside the room, Zuko leans back slightly to look at her, studying her as if she might look different since he last saw her. “I missed you,” he murmurs, reaching up to tuck a long loose strand of hair behind her ear and brushing his fingers across her cheek. The pads of his fingers are rough with calluses from his firebending and swordplay. And it’s the most wonderful feeling in the world.

“Missed you so much,” she returns, beaming up at him. She knows she looks like a sappy little girl and she doesn’t care one bit, especially when Zuko bends his head and presses his lips to hers. No, she hadn’t imagined it after all, not this swooping feeling, not the warmth of him enfolding her, none of it. His mouth crushes hers and she feels the light touch of his tongue against her lower lip. The feeling ricochets through her entire body.

Unfortunately, Sokka can always be counted on to ruin things. He bangs on her door. “Hey sis, come on. We’re going to find Aang and Zuko and something to eat.”

Zuko shifts away from her and grimaces as Katara smiles at him remorsefully. She smoothes back her hair and goes to open her door, thanking Tui and La that at least Sokka has learned not to barge in without knocking. _That_ isn’t a confrontation any of them are ready for yet.

“Oh,” Suki looks at Zuko, over Katara’s shoulder. “You’re already here.”

Sokka frowns. “What were you two doing?”

“Ummm, I walked into Katara’s room by mistake. Mine’s right next door.”

“Okay...”

Katara rolls her eyes. “We were just catching up. Are you hungry or aren’t you?”

Thankfully, food is enough to thoroughly distract Sokka for the moment.

***

The opening feast is loud and crowded and after a few hours of being introduced to people, all Zuko wants is to fall into bed and sleep for days. All the Fire nation officials look tired. Even Uncle isn’t as bright-eyed as he usually is. Of course, that might be the wariness with which he is being regarded by many of the Earth Kingdom nobility. Whatever the White Lotus may have done, General Iroh’s name does not produce unmixed feelings in Ba Sing Se. Zuko himself has faced some thinly-veiled dislike tonight. He cannot blame them.

When Katara sidles up to him as the party is winding down, he is so relieved he allows himself to reach down and grasp her hand. It’s hidden under their robes and voluminous sleeves. She looks beautiful, having woven tiny white flowers into her hair to match the blue and white dress with the beaded torso. Her grandmother had made it, she’d told him with pride. All evening, he’s found it difficult to keep his eyes off her.

“Tired?”

“Yes. When I was living in the Lower Ring and complaining about our hard life, I didn’t really imagine this is what being in the Upper Ring would entail.”

“Hey, you should consider yourself honoured. You were seated very near Bosco at dinner.”

Zuko frowns. “What?”

She laughs. “I’ll tell you the whole story later. What did you like about the Lower Ring then?”

He looks around. “Can we slip away? This really doesn’t seem like a good place to be talking about the time I was hiding out here as a refugee.”

She gets that spark in her eye that he loves. “I’ll meet you in your room in fifteen minutes. I’ll change out of this dress. Then you can show me the place you liked most in Ba Sing Se.”

She’s true to her word. A knock on his door ushers Katara in, in her usual tunic and trousers combo, although her hair is still down. He’s changed too. But he’s a little unsure about their sneaking off. Of course they can get out. Most guards aren’t looking to stop people getting out. Getting back in before the morning, on the other hand, without causing a scandal is going to be hard. But Katara has that excited, joyous look in her eyes and he can’t refuse her anything.

They make it out of the palace and towards the wall. The gates to the Middle Ring are shut, however, and Zuko needs to improvise. He finds a house near the wall that looks abandoned. It takes some acrobatics and a boost from a nearby fountain but they get on to the roof without being spotted. Up here, in the early hours of the morning, there is the quietness and stillness he was craving.

“Our roof at the place we were renting was easy to climb,” He begins. She’s cuddled under his arm, head resting on his shoulder. Flyaway strands of hair tickle his chin and he breathes in the fresh scent of sea air and honey that he has come to associate with Katara. “The Lower Ring was poor and overcrowded and even quite dirty in parts, of course. But there was so much life there. Children playing in the street, people calling out to each other across upper floor windows, so many shops and stalls and stores. I’d never experienced anything like it. Never seen anything that wasn’t the most controlled discipline. And at first, I hated Ba Sing Se. But I could appreciate that. How intensely everyone lived.”

He can feel her smile against the side of his neck. “I would never have thought you’d appreciate chaos. You were always kind of rigid when you joined us. Wanting everything to be done in a particular manner and for Aang to be more serious.”

He sighs. “It’s what I knew for all my life. It’s hard to just turn that all around. I don’t think I would have grown to love Ba Sing Se if I had to spend my entire life here. But it opened my life to another kind of life, at least. There was freedom, of a kind. The Dai Li weren’t really a huge presence in the Lower Ring. And people could live life as they wanted.”

“And being on the roof was the most free you could be.”

“Yes, I could be Zuko. And I could see people going about their ordinary lives underneath. And...I don’t know...it just let me see that there was so much more to the world than what I’d always known.”

They sit in silence for a long while. With Katara, there’s no need to fill the silence between them with talk all the time. He catches her hand with one of his, uncurls the fingers, draws shapes on the palms with the tip of his index finger, then slowly lines their fingers up together and fits his through hers. She watches him with a smile and then says, “Thanks for the moment of peace after that party.”

“ _That_ was a different kind of chaos, huh?”

“Yeah, it got tiring soon. I’m not sure I’m looking forward to the peace talks if last year is any indication. Toph said you and Aang have some plans about the colonies?”

“Yes. I’ll tell you about them later. But can we not talk about diplomacy tonight?”

“Okay. Look at that house? The small one?” It is a rather small one, at one corner of a courtyard in the Middle Ring. Warm firelight is visible from behind white curtained windows on the ground floor. Zuko wonders who is awake this late. “Just imagine, if we were a normal couple and lived somewhere like that? I’d be an apprentice to a healer or something, you’d work in a teashop,” She grins up at him. “No diplomatic meetings, no coups, no obstinate elders. Just us.”

He draws her closer and presses his lips to her cool forehead. It’s a lovely dream.

***

Katara has to stifle a yawn on the second day of the meetings. Things are going surprisingly well so far. The Southern Water Tribe’s trade deals with the Earth Kingdom and the Fire Nation have been very fruitful and have been successfully renegotiated. Moreover, yesterday one of Nanneh’s classmates who had accompanied the Northern Water Tribe leaders had approached her and Katara thinks if the North is not careful they might soon lose all their female benders altogether. Still, that’s not her lookout. Extending support and encouragement is.

Now they’re all gathered together to discuss the situation about the erstwhile Fire Nation colonies in the Earth Kingdom. While the troops and officials were all withdrawn at the end of the war, the matter of the Fire Nation citizens is a source of continuous tension. No actual conflicts have broken out yet but the entire area is in a state of limbo that no one knows what to do with.

“I have been travelling around the colonies for some time now,” Aang begins, looking very serious and grown-up. “While the people there formally pay allegiance to the Earth Kingdom now, they do think that a more autonomous system of government would be preferable. They've long had their own customs and ways of life. They would like their own leaders in place and projects for the benefit of their own people. King Kuei, Fire Lord Zuko and the ambassadors to the area have discussed this at great length and...” He stops as one of the Ba Sing Se ministers stands up.

“Your Majesty, why have we not been present at these meetings? We cannot just let go of the area. It’s our land! How do we know this is not some ploy by the Fire Nation to insidiously make a move?”

“Lord Reng Fo, Fire Lord Zuko has assured me that the Fire Nation has no machinations towards the former colonies,” Kuei looks harried. “He would have withdrawn all Fire Nation citizens if he could but many have been born and brought up there.”

“And they are not asking for complete independence,” the Earth Kingdom ambassador to the colonies, Meph He, pipes up. She looks nervous about speaking in front of so many people but courageously ploughs on. “They will formally pay allegiance to the Earth Kingdom. They just want more of a say in their own leaders and to be able to choose them themselves. And they ask that the tax system be reconsidered.” With a quick glance at an impassive-looking Zuko and his wall of councillors beside him, she continues. “The Fire Nation didn’t exactly manage the colonies for the maximum benefit of the people there. This includes mixed-nations citizens as well. It’s an area where a lot of economic development needs to be done.”

“And how do we do that?” inquires a lady from Omashu, sitting at Bumi’s side. “If they cannot pay taxes?”

“That’s exactly what we wanted to speak to you about!” Aang almost trips over his words in his eagerness. “At present, other than bending schools, there are only two educational academies in the world. At Ba Sing Se and at Caldera. But there are so many boys and girls now, from everywhere, who don’t really have any vocations. They could go to school! They could learn various crafts.” He pauses, taking a deep breath. “If the Earth Kingdom would forego their taxes from this area for five years, if they would allow the entire system to be set up, there is so much that could be done! The setting up of an academic town and people migrating from other areas would help the entire area become more self-sufficient.”

Kuei says, “The Avatar has been in touch with the Mechanist from the Northern Air Temple. He has a lot of ideas and few resources and only his son as an apprentice. He says if there are people who want to learn from him, if there is a place and infrastructure provided, he would be happy to take on students. Miss Beifong, too, has suggested in a few years she might be ready to open a metalbending academy in the area, for those interested in furthering their knowledge.”

Suki and Ayumi have been whispering amongst themselves, the last few minutes, before Suki turns to the table. “The Kyoshi Warriors would be willing to open a new branch in the new town if this idea is carried forward. We have been speaking amongst ourselves and there is a lot that we can offer to people. It is not fair that anyone not naturally from Kyoshi should miss out on this. Any woman anywhere in the world who cannot bend has a right to defend herself. Kyoshi was the Avatar. She worked for the benefit of all people, not just her own. We will carry her teachings forward. We do not have space to expand on the island itself but some of my sisters would be happy to come teach in this new academy, if people want to learn.”

“We can provide glassblowers, metalworkers, weavers,” Zuko contributes softly. “Some of them are employed at the Caldera Educational Centre but there are many who would be happy to contribute in a more international setting.” Katara notices some disdainful looks at this but most people are listening now, are paying attention. This might actually happen. She feels like she is watching the change of an entire worldview.

Her father says, “The Southern Water Tribe is still rebuilding at the moment and we cannot offer much in the way of material resources but both my son and I would be happy to go over your plans with you. The building of an entire academic town will not be cheap, even if taxes and duties are forgiven for a few years. We can help make it more cost-efficient and examine the plans for you.”

Aang looks like he could begin bouncing with excitement. “The academy won’t be absolutely free, of course. All students will pay but only according to their means. And Fire Lord Zuko and King Kuei are prepared to offer initial monetary help, to get it all going.” She notices that the ministers of both men look a little alarmed by this but the finance ministers make no motion. This has been thoroughly discussed, then. Of course, in both places there are enough of the nobility living in decadent luxury that they could afford to give up some of their obscene wealth. If they’ve promised the amounts, she’s confident they will make it work.

She wants to contribute too. “We can provide healers,” she says, ignoring Dad and Sokka’s surprised looks. Waterbenders are _her_ area of expertise, not theirs. “Not immediately. Our benders are still in training. But you said Toph might open a school in a few years? Well, we can have healers ready too. They won’t be able to teach how to heal by bending, of course, but there is still a lot of knowledge that can be gained from it, maybe in areas that Earth Kingdom or Fire Nation healers aren’t well-versed in. We can help with that.”

Across the table, Chief Arnook meets her gaze. He’s remained quiet so far. “We can too.”

Sitting around that table, she thinks that this is what they fought for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another combined pov chapter. There are a couple more of those later on, as well. I'm sure people reading would be glad to know that I have the rest of the story fully plotted out. It's about two-thirds of the way finished. To everyone who has read, commented, bookmarked, left kudos etc. I would like to say a big thank you! I don't say it every chapter but thank you so much for your encouragement.
> 
> In this chapter, exactly a year has passed since the end of the war and Katara is 16 and Zuko is almost 18. At the end of the war, according to my calculations, they were 15 and almost 17 respectively. I felt like at least a couple of the gaang should have had their birthdays during the course of the show so that's the reason for those ages.


	22. Chapter 22

Zuko is crossing a courtyard in a preoccupied state of mind when he is suddenly assaulted by a hug. “Aang!” And indeed, it’s the Avatar, wrapped around him almost like Momo. Zuko senses a shadow above him and sees Appa hovering in midair, well above the palace. Aang’s glider is digging into his back so he makes an informed guess that the boy leaped from the back of the air bison. He gently detaches himself and looks at him in puzzlement. “I thought you were at the Southern Air Temple.”

The Temple is apparently almost complete, as the men Zuko had sent to help in the clearing and reconstruction process have reported to him. It should be complete before the end of autumn and he knows Aang means to move on to the Western Air Temple after that.

“I was and then I received a message and...where’s Toph? I want her to be here when I tell you too!”

Accordingly, Toph is found and the three of them sit down to tea in a garden although Aang looks impatient at all these formalities.

“Okay, spit it out before you burst, Twinkletoes. I have to go pack before I leave for Gaoling tomorrow.”

This manages to distract him for a moment. “Pack? You wear practically the same thing every day.”

“Well, my mum doesn’t know that so I have to make a pretence. Besides, these aren’t my things. They’re gifts Gramps is sending for them.”

“What?” Zuko is startled.

“It’s tea. It doesn’t matter now. What’s up?”

“I got a letter!” Aang announces dramatically. “From a village in the Earth Kingdom. Quite close to Hei Bai’s forest, really. A woman wrote it asking me to come see her. So I went, of course. And she told me that her son had recently shown indications of airbending!”

Toph’s mouth falls open. Zuko almost drops his cup. They’ve all been hoping hard for Aang, of course. But after everything they’ve been through, to have this discovery just fall into his lap in this manner is not something any of them have been expecting.

Aang looks thrilled at the reaction. “I saw him. He’s five. And he is an airbender. I checked! She said that he’s been doing it for the last six months and she wanted to contact me but her husband didn’t want to. He was still scared of what might happen if it became open knowledge. The husband is Earth Kingdom. But the woman said that both her parents were descended from Air Nomads.”

“Aang, I can hardly believe this,” Zuko murmurs, the momentous discovery really hitting him. “How do you feel?”

He sobers. “Slightly overwhelmed, really. I hoped that I wasn’t the last. And then, in the spring when I went looking I was almost convinced that I’d find something. The disappointment was...hard,” he swallows. “And now, there’s just this information. And this boy who is like me and who it’s my responsibility to teach all about our culture. And finally, there’s a definite possibility of there being more! Now I know for sure that some of the Air Nomads escaped.”

“I’m really glad for you, Twinkletoes.” It’s the softest that Zuko has ever seen Toph.

Aang grins and bounces back to energetic with typical resilience. “Well, I’ve spoken to them and spent some time with the boy. The parents were afraid I’d just take him away but I told them that of course I wouldn’t do that! I know it was different in my times and that some things can’t be the same right now. So, I’ll visit them and teach him when I can, for now. And they said that when the Western Temple is ready, they might be willing to shift there. The Southern one would be too cold for them, too different from what they are used to. And meanwhile, I can go look for the names of the families that the lady said have Air Nomad blood and speak to them!”

“And they’ve been hiding in the Earth Kingdom all this time?”

“She said so. There are a few families like that, descended from Nomads who escaped the genocide. She said that there were even cases where a child might have showed signs of bending but the parents subdued it out of fear. That kind of kills it, you know. If you don’t practice or develop your powers. Especially for us. We live in the skies, we’re meant to be free. Not hide and cower.”

Zuko thinks of having to crush out his powers, of never letting them grow, of hiding. He feels sick. But he manages to smile at Aang, “Well, this kid has you. I know you’ll be a wonderful teacher!”

“You think so?” He looks at them in a moment of uncertainty.

“Sure, Twinkletoes! You’ll kill it.”

Zuko and Aang grimace, “That’s not really a great choice of words, Toph.”

“Oh, pfft. You know what I mean.”

***

With Toph gone and Aang taking off again, the palace becomes quiet. Zuko meets his mother and uncle for breakfast in the garden where she enthusiastically questions him about the progress in the former colonies and tells them about how Azula didn’t scowl at her the previous day and Uncle tries to ply Zuko with some new blend that he has apparently recently created.

His weekly session of marketplace meetings takes him out of the palace. It’s a custom that Zuko enjoys but which makes his family, councillors and Head-of-Security quake in fear, when he goes to the markets and interacts with the people. He sheds his Fire Lord crown and formal robes for the event but the guards around him and his distinctive scar, of course, make him quite recognisable. The first few times the people had been too terrified to approach and shopkeepers had stammered over their words as Zuko had wandered around the stalls. But he thinks the people of Caldera have grown used to the presence now, as an elderly woman comes up to him with a request about her missing son and a young man tells him about his father being unlawfully dismissed from a big factory. Lian tails him quietly, making notes for what jobs she’ll have to set her team to look into.

A child runs into his path without ceremony and Zuko can see a woman, probably her mother, freeze as she sets sticky hands on his knees. She can’t be more than three and he looks down as she gives him a gap-toothed grin and offers a half-eaten mango. The woman has already come forward, begging pardons, looking ready to faint. Zuko attempts to smile reassuringly at her, takes the mango and bites into one side, prompting the child to giggle. He’s not sure what else to do so he gives it back to her, pats her on the head once awkwardly and sends her off. From the corner of his eye, he watches his retinue stifle either laughs or tired sighs at the breech of protocol. He ignores both, nods at the wide-eyed mother and moves on.

There’s a lot on his mind. The family holdings of the men who had attacked the palace have been seized and he has to decide whether to award them to his more loyal, not-of-noble-line councillors or to liquidate them and use that to pay for the foundation of the academy in the former colonies. The last of the reparations to the Earth Kingdom and the Southern Water Tribe goes out next month so that at least will relax the financial crunch a little. And his mother has suggested a new hospital for poverty-stricken expecting mothers which Okurum’s townhouse would be perfect for.

Katara’s letter, when he returns to the palace, comes at the perfect time to take his mind of these things for a few minutes. There’s a little brown package lying alongside it which arouses his curiosity but he slides open the letter first.

_Zuko,_

_I know you know Aang’s news by now! Isn’t it exciting? He could barely keep still when he announced it and I have been so happy for him ever since that I even didn’t mind Master Taqtu’s grumblings while training with Iarih. Well, not much, at least. I know we all hoped for it but to have it come true! Even I cannot even begin to understand what Aang must be feeling right now. It’s wonderful what strength human beings have to survive anything, is it not?_

_How is the new town coming along? Sokka has been away for most of the previous month and he has been tremendously excited recently over some plans your engineers sent. I hope everything is coming along well at the ground level as well? Are your councillors and the Earth Kingdom diplomats getting along? We must build a new world where the kind of things that happened before does not take place, Zuko. We simply must. And this new city (which we need a name for) where everyone can live and work and coexist is a beginning for that._

_I know your birthday went by recently. I wish I could have spent it with you. Plan number three for being a normal couple, I’d take you down to the marketplace and buy you your favourite crushed ice (not cherry) and we would wander around and look at things and be simple and uncomplicated._

_But since I couldn’t be there, here is something I made for you. I don’t think it’s very good but I knew you’d be happy to have it nevertheless. I’m sending it along in a package._

Zuko hurriedly opens the package to find a small object falling into his hand. There is a ribbon made of the same sort of soft material as her necklace, in white. He can see that she has painstakingly embroidered the symbols for both their nations on the surface and at the ends are tassels to which the tiniest of blue beads are tied. He realises it will fit around his wrist perfectly.

_The beads are from the first set I got as a child. Don’t be guilt-stricken about taking them!_ She adds sternly, knowing him as she does. _There are more in the set. But I wanted you to have something that could remind you of me, since we will need to be apart so often and for such long stretches._

_I miss you. I wish that you could be here. When you do come in the summer, I’m going to steal you away for an entire day. No one will know where the Fire Lord has gone. It isn’t the best time to see the lights but we’ll go off far far away from the village on a sled and we’ll spread out our furs and I’ll tell you all the stories that Mom and Dad and Gran-gran used to tell me. I’ve figured out how much you like them no matter how nonchalant you try to be. It’ll be the perfect escape._

_Of course, everyone will probably panic and I’ll have to give you back to the world. But for one glorious day, it’ll be just us._

_I’m so looking forward to seeing you all here._

_All my love,_

_Katara_.

Zuko folds up the letter and tucks it into one corner of his desk along with all the others she has sent him. He slips the bracelet on and manages to tie it one-handed. The beads clink together. The tiny, neat blue and red stitches of the symbols speak to long hours of effort. He looks at it for a long time before an attendant calling him to dinner tears his attention away.

***

Minister Nin is gathering up her papers as she finishes her speech. The news that the new town, which they really should come up with a name for, is advancing according to schedule is a welcome one. By current estimates, the first institutes should be ready to open by spring. There has been quite a bit of murmur spreading about the project and Lian has brought him welcomed reports of young boys from the further islands who are interested in looking into options now that being conscripted into the army is not a concern. The Centre at Caldera is honestly not large enough to accommodate all the young ex-soldiers and another option would take the stress off the teachers there.

The fact that this means greater intermingling between the various nations has been received with some hesitance, of course, but people are beginning to accept it. Even Chief Arnook’s representatives have written of boys who are eager to learn new skills and a few girls who have expressed their wish to learn from the Kyoshi Warriors. Total change in attitudes can hardly be expected at once but Zuko will take what he can get.

He finishes up with his Finance Minister’s weekly report and dismisses the council rather absent-mindedly.

The trip to the Southern Water Tribe is coming up soon. Chief Hakoda has invited his children’s friends for the Summer Solstice Festival at the South Pole. It’s Zuko’s first official visit after the disaster of the first time and he is a lot more tense than he will ever let on to Katara or anyone else. This isn’t just about the Fire Lord visiting the Southern Water Tribe, although that is part of it. This is Katara’s family, her people, and he has already messed up once and he cannot afford to make a second bad impression.

He has been snappy recently and the council members have been keeping their peace. He’s not sure they understand all of what is going on with him but he sees people’s glances drifting often towards his wrist. For a while, he had uneasily wondered if he should take off the bracelet. But no one has said anything disapproving and Uncle and Mother had looked thrilled and _he doesn’t want to ever take it off_. So Zuko does the best he can and ignores the looks.

Seeing Katara will make up for all of it anyhow.


	23. Chapter 23

Toph and Aang turn up together with the announcement that the Southern Air Temple is officially complete. The celebrations are scheduled to start in a week and Katara has been insanely busy the last few weeks getting everything ready and helping the girls finish up their mastery but seeing them lets her relax into the role of Katara again. Not master waterbender and Chief’s daughter. The sight of Toph wearing shoes and her complaints about it adds to the whole atmosphere of cheer.

Suki, who had been away at the new city, arrives a few days later and Sokka almost bowls over all the people in his way to go embrace her. Katara wishes she could do the same with Zuko but it is probably not wise to advertise their relationship to the world yet.

When Zuko does turn up that evening, not looking very Fire Lordy at all as he surveys Hakoda nervously, Katara has to stop herself from tackling him. She digs her nails into her palms, watching her father greet Zuko and watching him pay respects to her grandmother who sizes him up with shrewd eyes and accepts the apology that he awkwardly trips out. Only after Sokka moves to throw his arm around Zuko’s shoulder does Katara step forward, shove her brother out of the way and enfold Zuko. His head rests against hers for barely a second before she makes herself move back. It’s briefer than she would like, much briefer. Drawing away, she finds Suki and all the members of her family looking between them. Dad’s eyebrows are raised so high, they’ll disappear off his forehead soon. She nudges him. “Come on, Dad. You’re supposed to officially invite everyone to the feast.”

The feast is preceded by a display by some of the waterbenders. And Katara has been careful to make sure both the Northern girls and the Southern children are a part of it. It had been an impressive display when she had first journeyed to the North Pole but she’s made some adjustments and it’s truly a magnificent sight to behold. She’s practiced with them for days and it manages to impress even her.

Aang and Zuko are seated on either side of her father and Katara is placed beside Zuko. He leans over in the middle of her serving him tigerseal stew and congratulates her on the display.

“How do you know I had anything to do with it?”

His eyes flash with humour. “I recognise your moves, Katara. Anyone could see your signature all over this.”

She grins and feels warm all over at the thought that he knows something like this about her. But then, he’s always watched her bending closely and tried to incorporate moves into his own. She remembers duels on the beach in Ember Island, where they’d tried to outdo each other and she’d constantly strove to pick up and incorporate firebending moves as well. His fingers brush hers as he takes his bowl from her and his sleeve falls away to reveal a glint of white around his wrist.

“Oh,” she blinks. “You’re wearing it.”

He blinks back. “You made it for me to wear, right?”

“Yeah, yes of course. I just didn’t think you’d wear it here.”

Zuko flushes, “Do you want me to take it off? I haven’t since you sent it.”

Everything in her melts. She’s reminded that she hasn’t been able to properly hold him, to kiss him since he’d arrived. There’s nothing she wants to do more. “No. Don’t take it off.”

Sik soon skips up to their table to grin and introduce herself. Zuko looks flustered to have her full attention on him and Katara wants to laugh. This is abruptly curtailed when her friend, too innocently, asks if he’ll dance with Katara when the music starts up.

“Oh,” He goes crimson. “I don’t think...I don’t know any dances.”

_Liar_. But this is not the place to call that out so Katara shoots Sik a stern glance and Aang soon distracts her when he eagerly proclaims his willingness to dance. As the music starts up, he bounces out to the centre of the room and Katara leads Sik along to spare Zuko some embarrassment.

Later, he gets over it and joins her after all. They laugh together and she guides him through the steps and Katara shoves aside her family’s contemplative looks to the background of her mind.

***

It’s a whirlwind of a week and Katara does not really get as much time with Zuko as she would like, except the one afternoon when she makes good on her promise and steals him away. They head out very early, much before anyone wakes up, and she takes him off in Sokka’s canoe. She points out the edge of the harbour where she had once almost fallen in while out fishing with Dad and the place where she and Sokka were out the day they found Aang. She takes him to the penguin fields and explains the mechanics of penguin-sledding although he looks completely puzzled as to why anyone would do that and think it fun. But then, Zuko would probably not know fun if it hit him over the head with a hammer.

They trudge around, hands clasped and share stories back and forth. Katara manages to find some ice berries for Zuko to eat and although he squints and scrunches up his nose at the tanginess, he declares that he likes them. Even though the lights are not properly visible now, at this time of year, she shows him the small hillock which is the perfect viewing spot. Eventually, they return to the canoe and settle there, gazing out over the vast southern seas. She tells him of Kallik’s twins, their newest and youngest waterbenders, about the rooms that Sokka had added onto the sides of the training hall for the young benders to occupy. Dad and Gran-gran had not been happy to see her move out though it was literally a two-minute walk away but she’s loving her freedom and having a place surrounded by girls her age to stay.

Zuko explains how the Fire Nation economy is stabilising and how prejudices towards other nations and towards Zuko himself is simmering down as the people interact more and more with those from other nations. He tells her about that month’s tea party in Azula’s little country house which she has been recently moved to. Ty Lee had also come by to attend this time and his sister is looking better now. She thinks how Zuko doesn’t even see how remarkable all his actions are and seems in a sort of disbelief that things are working out. She can feel her own beads brushing the inside of her wrist as they hold hands. Gran-gran has noticed him wearing it and shot Katara several meaningful glances. She’s sure it will come up in conversation after the festival is over and the guests have left.

“This is all really beautiful. You know, when I was first banished and I was sailing around the southern seas, seeing all the ice and snow, all the white, I used to miss home so intensely. I never could appreciate how beautiful this is, the glaciers, the waves against the snowbanks, your life here. The way you know there’s always someone there to help.”

She smiles, “Helping each other and serving the community in whatever way we can is how we have survived. It’s probably why I took on the caretaker role with the group, why it took me time to adjust to Toph. Family is everything here. We survive because of each other, because we have help. Refusing to help or refusing help that is being given was not a concept I understood.”

“A lot of people could really benefit from that knowledge. Uncle was always trying to offer help and I was always pushing him away because I thought it made me weak. It took me so long to understand that to accept help with grace was a sign of strength and humility. I didn’t have to have it all figured out. I didn’t always know best. There are many many people to learn from, my family, my friends, my people. And you know that. Your community, your personal connections, it’s _everything_.”

“Wait until the day of the actual solstice. It’s all about tales around the fire and everyone gathered together and having fun. You’ll like it, I think.”

He looks at her. “There isn’t a single thing I haven’t liked so far, Katara. I love your home.”

Joy fills her. “Even the sea prunes?” She teases.

When he manages to say, “I like salty flavours” with a straight face, she kisses him.

Eventually soft, fat white flakes begin to fall on them and Zuko looks around in wonder. “I’ve never seen snow in summer.”

This strikes Katara as very funny seeing as he lives in the Fire Nation but the laughter dies in her throat when he turns soft eyes towards her and brushes off snowflakes from her head. At his hot touch they immediately melt against her scalp. She giggles and pushes him away, mock-grumbling that he’s going to get her sodden wet.

Even with the perpetual sunlight, evening does descend and the air around them gets colder. Zuko draws her into his chest and uses his breath of fire to keep them warm. It’s better than the softest bed piled high with furs or a bonfire on a winter night as his scent of cinnamon and jasmine settles over her. She does not want to leave this place for years, sitting there with her back to his chest. He brushes his lips along her cheek once and she turns her head to kiss him. They’ve mostly had stolen kisses here and there for the last few days, always afraid that they’ll be interrupted by someone. While sneaking around may be romantic in a cliché kind of way, it hasn’t really lent itself to getting lost in each other.

Now, as Zuko’s arms tighten around her and he nibbles gently on her bottom lip and trails his nose along her jaw, Katara wants to throw caution to the rocks and not return for the night even though she knows people will be out searching for them by then. She reciprocates and kisses the nearest spot she can reach which happens to be his neck. Zuko lets out a sharp gasp near her ear and his teeth catch on her earlobe.

“ _Oh_!”

He breaks away, looking torn. “It’s gotten late and we’ve got a long walk back.”

“No,” she whines.

He sighs, burying his face in her neck. His words are a mumble against her skin. “I don’t want to go either.”

She reaches up and twines her fingers through the lengthening strands of hair. They lie below his shoulder now and he hasn’t made any move to cut them yet. She’s not saying anything but she loves it. He looks beautiful. The strands shift through her fingers like silk. “I suppose you’re right. We should go.”

It still takes them a long while to break away from each other and start home.

***

The entire village gathers around the huge fire in a large circle. With a solemn countenance, Hakoda steps forward into the centre, wearing his ceremonial parka that Katara and Gran-gran made. The children, all huddled together at one side, watch in enthralled silence and Katara smiles as she recalls her and Sokka in that position once. He begins to speak, telling the story of their tribe, of the polarbear-dog spirit that had led Amaqjuaq, the first Chief of their village, and his family and followers to this area in the shadow of the old glacier to set up their camp away from the more populous eastern reaches. It’s a bittersweet story now since the other villages have long since been abandoned and the people died out. Still, Katara looks at their growing tribe and has hope that someday, they’ll be able to repopulate.

Aang, Toph, Zuko and Suki listen with as much fascination as the children, as do Nanneh and the others. These stories are new to them as well, the history of their adopted tribe. She thinks of Gran-gran and the courage that had driven her to sail all the way across the world by herself to settle in a completely unknown area. She looks at Hama, who had the previous year quietly listened to the familiar story from the same corner that she is still sitting in. Karri had been beside her then and that empty space makes Katara ache. Karri, Kya, so many other missing faces. The new faces don’t make up for these losses. But she has learnt to accept them. They are wherever they may be and Katara has to live life to the fullest meanwhile and she can only hope she makes them proud every step of the way.

Sokka seems to sense her mood and nudges her gently with his shoulder. Aang smiles at her from the other side of the fire and Zuko turns his honey-gold eyes to her from his place beside the Avatar. And things are truly okay.

Bato, who’d accompanied Zuko from the Fire Nation, gets up and tells the next story about the first waterbenders, who’d watched Tui and realised they could control the ocean around them. Gran-gran shares the story of Asiaq, which is a particular favourite of Zuko’s and Katara lets herself wink at him when no one is looking. He rolls his eyes at her but she can see him bite down on a smile.

It’s the longest day in the South Pole and there has been perpetual light outside for a while now. The fire in the meeting hall isn’t strictly needed, but it adds atmosphere as Sokka argues. Their friends leave tomorrow. It’s been a perfect few days, even with the stolen moments with Zuko. And it saddens her to see them go. She wonders, not for the first time, what it would have been like if they didn’t live in different corners of the world, if Aang wasn’t called on to travel all over the place, if they could settle somewhere and not go months between seeing each other.

And yet, as Sokka and Suki exchange love-lorn looks, as Aang listens wide-eyed to the full story of Kuruk, as she looks at Toph who has made this journey to a place that leaves her vulnerable in a way she really is not comfortable with for the sake of her friends, Katara can only be grateful for the strong ties that bind them together.


	24. Chapter 24

Katara nods in satisfaction as Tanaraq and the twins manage to hold on to their water bubbles for a solid ten minutes before they let go. For their very young ages, they are advancing brilliantly. She dismisses class and joins Iarih and Sik who have been waiting for her before they head to the harbour market. A Fire Nation ship and two Earth Kingdom trading vessels have come in. There is a part of Katara that still instinctively shrinks when she sees the large steel ships with their red and black flags but she is getting more used to them now. And the harbour master had sent a message that apparently there is a packet from Zuko.

Her hush-hush romance is really not very hush-hush anymore. Gran-gran, Dad and Sokka have all spoken to her about it and her friends have giggled over it. Even her people seem to have reconciled themselves to the matter. She thinks seeing her and Zuko together at the festival might have played a part in it. They’d been so happy together and he’d been so polite and eager-to-please that people have begun to forgive him, even the women who’d been there when he made his first fateful journey to her tribe. Not Hama though. Katara supposes it’s too much to expect her former waterbending Master to accept her relationship with the Fire Lord. Katara cannot blame her for that.

Sokka had simply asked, “Do you know what you are doing?” to which she had replied, “Do you know what you and Suki are going to do?” He’d said that was fair enough and not commented anymore. She supposes she should be glad that her brother trusts her this much and probably Zuko as well, since he has not made any denigrating or teasing comments since. But all it means is that they have to tell Aang soon since she assumes Toph already knows and Suki will find out now that Sokka knows. Aang can’t be the only one left out and he hasn’t brought up anything with her since their conversation one and a half years ago. Really, he’s probably over her by now.

She collects the little package from the harbour master and then roams around with the girls looking at the things for a while. With winter closing in soon, the trading vessels from the other nations will probably be few and far between for a while. By the time they are done and they return to the school to their rooms, the short day is over and night has already fallen. The girls are eager to see the contents of the package and Katara lets them into her room.

The wrappings fall away and she grins. Inside are small bottles of cherry, green and ripe mango, lychee nut, grapefruit and pineapple syrup. She knows he always teases her for the way she gorges on fruit when in the Fire Nation and they’ve thought about ways that fruit can be preserved for long stretches of time. This is an elegant workaround that has never occurred to her and while, of course, it isn’t as good as the real thing the gift brings out all sorts of fuzzy feelings. From the wickedly delighted look on Sik’s face, it’s probably evident. Hurriedly, she composes herself and begins to discuss the training for the next few months with them.

There’s been another small shipload of female waterbenders from the North and counting Rika, Nanneh’s youngest sister who has just begun to bend, this brings the number up to seven. She knows this has suddenly become a growing concern for the North Pole and Chief Arnook is trying to change the laws. But bureaucracy always takes a long time. Katara wonders if her friends will return to the Northern Water Tribe once the changes have taken place. Seeing their glowing faces as they help out with the young ones and the vehement way they argue matters in the council and Iarih’s blush at every sight of Nanouk, she somehow doubts it.

***

“I think you and Sokka should go by yourselves to the anniversary in the Fire Nation this year.” Hakoda drops this bomb at dinner one night and they look at their father in absolute shock. “Bato will be there and you two are growing into quite the politicians. Nanouk and Anjij can accompany you. I don’t think we should all be leaving just at the end of winter again.”

“But Dad...”

“You two are very well acquainted with the trade deals and Katara knows much more than me about waterbending matters, of course. If the Northern Tribe brings something up as regards that, I have full confidence you can deal with it,” he smiles at her. “As for the new city...Republic City...”

“Stupid name,” Sokka mutters. Katara rolls her eyes. He’s been saying that ever since Aang wrote them to say the new city now had an official name. She’s not sure how ‘The Sokkademy’ was any better but her brother can be dumb sometimes. And he probably wasn’t serious about that one. She hopes not, at least.

Her father rolls his eyes as well, “Anyway, you are the ones that are more involved with the city so you’ll be able to put across all points better anyway.”

“Are you sure you shouldn’t come as well, Dad?” Katara understands what he is saying and he’s quite right that she and Sokka have been taking on more leadership roles for a while now. People might say they were too young but that didn’t help Aang and Zuko and Suki so she’s not sure it’s that different for them either.

“Yes, I should be here at the turn of the season. I’ve already spent too long away from the Tribe. Don’t worry, we’ll go over everything that needs to be discussed extensively before-hand. There’s still a lot of time left.”

“And the elders are okay with this?”

“Son, you should know that by now you’ve done very admirable work and the elders are very impressed.”

“Oh well, I suppose Katara is the best person to negotiate with Zuko about the glass for the temperature controlled gardens anyway. He’ll probably...”

“Shut up, Sokka,” She grits out as she sees Gran-gran and Dad hide smiles. Gran-Pakku doesn’t look pleased but then, that’s his natural expression so she’s not sure she should pay it any mind. “Zuko doesn’t make those kind of decisions on his own.”

“Fine, fine. We’ll just let a golden opportunity go by then.” Sokka gives her his most obnoxious grin.

***

They study the arena in silence, trying to discover any imperfections. The benches ring around the firepit in perfect concentric circles, slanting slightly up as they go. The third ring, the outermost one, is the highest with the innermost one being lower down. There’s enough space between the firepit and the benches for a small group of people to stand and face their audience in every direction.

“Well, it looks good,” Nanneh says at last, the circular chamber around her sending back the very slightest of echoes.

“And now we don’t have to use the council chamber all the time for unofficial gatherings,” Katara exclaims with pride, looking around the arena. “This is the perfect place for spending winter evenings.”

Sokka nods solemnly, “Yeah, this will work well. And we won’t have to waste wood lighting multiple fires to heat up the entire council hall. This is a much better size for us.”

Anjij grins. She’s a few years older than them but she likes spending time with ‘the young ones’ and supporting them against the more crusty elders. “Even Master Taqtu will stop complaining about newfangled innovations once his knees aren’t creaking with the cold anymore.”

“Well, now that this is done all that’s left is the heated gardens,” Sokka says in satisfaction.

“It’s a pity we can’t use ice for that,” laughs Sik.

“We’ll cut a deal with the Fire Nation in exchange for access to our fishing waters. Don’t worry, Zuko will agree.”

“Won’t that leave our waters vulnerable to over-fishing?” Iarih ventures.

“We’re going to set limits. We’ve worked it all out, what amount the Southern Seas can withstand and how many ships can be allowed.”

“Won’t the Earth Kingdom be offended at being left out?”

“We already do trade with the southern reaches of the Earth Kingdom for a lot of our food. Quarried stone, as well. Not so much with the Fire Nation. This is just bringing the Fire Nation into the fold,” Katara explains.

“All of this sounds so interesting,” Sik sighs. “I wish I could come to the anniversary this year.”

“Well, why don’t you?” asks Sokka. “Dad’s not going and there is space. You can help Katara with the bending stuff if the Northern Water Tribe delegates challenge us. And we’re allowed as many envoys as we want. You should see the size of the Earth Kingdom delegations!”

Sik’s eyes grow large. “I can come?”

“Of course,” Katara grins. “Come along. You’ll love the Caldera markets. The palace is pretty too.”

“You would say that,” Anjij teases. She ignores her in favour of smiling at Sik’s excited face.

***

“Hakoda?” They look around in surprise. Katara has been staying with her family for the last week. Winter has fully set in and the constant darkness makes it difficult to exactly mark when day passes into night. But they have just sat down to a meal when Nurri comes running. “It’s Master Taqtu. He’s become ill.”

Hakoda quickly slips on a heavier parka to follow her out and Katara sets down her food to accompany them. She knows there will be better healers with the old man but something in her is compelled to go by to help.

By the time they reach, however, there’s nothing to be done. Iarih sits beside him and it is clear from the resigned look on her face that he is gone. Hama stands at the bedside, face inscrutable.

Katara doesn’t feel sad for the man exactly. He’d accompanied Gran-Pakku to the Southern Water Tribe and while younger than her old master, he’d been frailer. He’s been crotchety towards her throughout and regarded her helping the other girls with disapproval. Still, she feels bad that they had been laughing at him only a few weeks before and now he lies dead. Hakoda, as Chief, bows his head and says a short prayer to the spirits over his body so that he may be guided join his ancestors in peace. Iarih closes his eyes solemnly.

It’s another reminder that death carries on its duties even after war.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To make up for the longish wait and the mostly filler chapter before this, I'm posting this one as well. The story is almost done. I'd say there are about three more chapters and an epilogue. I hope to finish by the end of the month but let's see. To all of you who have stuck with this, thank you so much for your encouragement!

The inner plaza is still being decorated as Zuko walks across it. He’d be worried about it not being ready for the feast the next night, but if there’s one thing he knows about his Head-of-Staff, she’s scarily efficient. His mother stands to one side, supervising the flowers. Sunlight glints off the streaks of silver in her hair. Her former ladies-in-waiting had attempted to get her to dye it several times but she’s ignored all such suggestions.

Most of the delegations have already reached and been settled in. Aang had brought along three heads of the Air Nomad families with him. They’d looked around the Fire Nation palace warily and Zuko understands what a tremendous step this is for them. An anniversary in one of the other nations would probably have been a more comfortable beginning for them but this location had been decided on last year and it’s important for Air Nomad delegates to be present.

A guard comes hurrying along, “Your majesty, the Southern Water Tribe delegation is here.”

Zuko keeps his face calm as he nods and begins striding towards the front courtyard. Sokka and Katara are indeed tumbling out of their carriages. They grin up at him and Katara flies forward for a hug. Aware of all the eyes and smiles around them, they keep it short and Zuko turns to greet Sokka and all the others. He’d been surprised to learn Chief Hakoda would not be joining them this year but he’s confident that his friends will do a very good job nonetheless.

The others are all led off to their rooms but at a tug on her hand from Zuko, Katara quietly follows him as he leads her up to the family quarters. They look around the corridor and find no one other than a couple of stone-faced guards at either end. Quickly, they slip into his room. Once inside, Katara turns to look up at him and smiles. “You need to stop growing.”

“I’ve stopped, I think. You look different too,” He gently tugs at the end of one curl. “Your hair’s longer.”

“So is yours,” she grins. Zuko sighs, brushing it back self-consciously. “I love it. You look...umm...very handsome.”

One corner of his mouth lifts. “Really? You look beautiful.” He slips his arms around her waist, pulling her closer and she leans forward, resting her chin against his chest and looking up. “Are you ready for this week?”

She raises an eyebrow. “We’ve already done this twice. This is the third time.”

“Hopefully Toph won’t get angry and challenge my education minister to an earthbending battle this time.”

“And Aang won’t fall asleep while Kuei is talking again,” she returns. Then, her smile falters. “My brother and everyone else knows about us, you know.”

“I know,” he huffs. “Sokka wrote to congratulate me on getting ‘my shit together’. Toph knows too. And Suki was grinning at me the entire time we were in Republic City together.”

She looks nervous. “So Aang...”

“We’ll tell him. Just as soon as the talks are over. We shouldn’t drop this on him before that. It’ll be a distraction.”

As she buries her face against his chest and breathes him in, her arms coiling around him, Zuko wonders how he is going to control himself around her for the rest of the week.

***

Of course, the universe likes jokes at Zuko’s expense. Although, he and Katara should probably have been wiser than to kiss in the middle of mother’s garden where anyone could come upon them. But she’d been looking ethereal in the moonlight and she’d been giving him that soft smile that he has never seen her give anyone else and he hadn’t been able to resist.

Her arms are wrapped tight around his shoulders and she’s on tiptoes, kissing him back. His head is spinning from the feeling and scent and the taste of jasmine tea on her lips. Her short fingernails scrape his scalp and his heart feels like it’s going to pound out of his chest. He’s awash in the feel of Katara, the world has narrowed down to the circle of her arms and there isn’t a thought in his head. Her head is tilted at just the right angle and the weight of her is perfect in his arms. Thus, it takes him a minute to recognise that someone had been calling for him and now there’s utter silence.

Katara manages to break away first. She looks over his shoulder and freezes in shock. The look of guilt that crosses her face alerts him to what he will find when he turns around.

Aang has never looked this stricken. His grey eyes are wide and fixed on them as hurt swims in their depths. He takes a step back when Katara calls his name and tries to move towards him.

“How...when...” He chokes. Zuko has never seen Aang lost for words. “Is this new?”

“Aang, I’m so sorry you had to find out like this. We were going to tell you, I promise!”

“Tell me what?”

“We...Zuko and I, we’ve been together for a while now. We didn’t tell anyone, I swear. People begun to find out and I thought I would talk to you after the talks and...”

“People begun to find out? Do our friends know?”

“Yes,” she whispers. Zuko isn’t sure if he should contribute to the conversation or just stay quiet.

“How long is a while? How could I not have known?”

“Since...since we went looking for Ursa.” His face twists in pain and he turns away. “Aang, I’m sorry for hurting you.”

Hearing the anguish in her voice, Zuko steps forward. “Aang, look...”

“I understood when you said you didn’t feel the same way about me. It hurt but I realised that there was nothing I could do.” He stops. He sounds heartbroken as he utters the next words, “But why did it have to be him?”

Katara stands motionless, face helpless. What answer is there to that? What is there to say that won’t make Aang feel worse? Zuko can tell how agonised she is about this whole matter playing out like this. Aang begins to walk away.

“Aang! Don’t...don’t go.”

“I’m not leaving.” He sounds cold. “I know how important these talks are, Katara. But I need to think. I can’t be around you two now.”

Tears pour down her cheeks as he disappears inside the palace. Other than pulling her into his arms, Zuko isn’t sure how to help.

***

The Avatar doesn’t even look up at him as Zuko seats himself beside him. “No offense, but you’re the last person I want to talk to right now.” His voice is tired, defeated and unbearably young.

“We weren’t trying to hurt you.”

“So you’ve said.”

“I swear I didn’t know how she felt, Aang. I wasn’t even going to say anything. I was going to just love her from far away and leave her alone.”

“Zuko, I don’t know why you think it would make me feel better to know Katara made the first move.”

“Fine then. I’m bad at this, you know that better than anyone. So you talk. Tell me exactly how you feel. Take out your anger at me, not her.”

Aang shakes his head. “I’m not angry. I know you can’t help who you love. I’m just...just hurt. I loved her. I met her first and I loved her first.”

Zuko sighs. “It’s not a competition.”

“I know that! I know it was her choice and her right to fall in love with you. I was...was even starting to get over her. It’s been two years and I’ve been busy and I haven’t really spent all that much time with Katara. Maybe it was just a childhood thing. But I saw you yesterday and all I could think was that I wasn’t enough.”

“It’s not about being enough, Aang. You two have such a special relationship. I know you’re her best friend. You two got each other through so much. Sometimes...sometimes, two relationships are just _different_. It doesn’t mean I was good enough and you weren’t.”

“How do you know you and Katara will last and that’s it isn’t just a crush?”

“I don’t. No one can know something like that. We might not make it and it might be for a variety of reasons that isn’t even really about us. But she makes me smile every day, even when she’s halfway across the world. I love to hear about all the great things she is doing, even if we only see each other for a couple of weeks every year. She makes me happier than I’ve ever been and I hope I make her half as happy and that’s enough, for now.”

There's quiet between the two of them for a while. Things have always been alarmingly simple between them, despite everything. Toph might now be the little sister that Zuko's always wanted to have and Katara may be the most important person in his life but it's impossible to forget that Aang was his first friend. The first one to accept him completely despite all his faults because Aang's heart is just _that_ big. Zuko couldn't bear it if something destruyed that.

“Okay. I still need time though.”

“Then take time. But please promise that you’ll be there for her. I don’t care what you think about me. But Katara is one of your best friends and she needs you.”

Aang looks at him for the first time. “You are both my friends. I’m not cutting you off. I just need to adjust to all of this.” He sighs. “And I am glad that you two are happy. I really am. You’ve been through a lot.”

“We all have.”

“Yes, well. I’m sure I’ll be happy too, eventually.” If there's a slight bitterness to those words, Zuko doesn't comment. He knows better than anyone about teenage angst.

“Thank you for understanding.”

“Did Katara ask you to speak to me?”

“You know she wouldn’t do that. I just didn’t want anything to come between your friendship.”

“Thank you for talking to me then.” Zuko nods and walks away. There’s nothing more that he can do for now. But he’s hopeful that Aang won’t nurse a grudge for too long at least.

***

The three of them do a good job of not letting on that anything has happened during the peace talks. Their friends know and are aware of a slight undercurrent of tension when they are all together but apart from that, things go smoothly.

The major topic of discussion is Republic City. Several institutions have been set up and are running already, including the Mechanist’s engineering school, the Kyoshi Warriors’ training centre, a medical school with healers from all three countries and a glassblower’s academy that is doing very well. With the influx of international students and their visiting families, there has been a boom in business in surrounding areas through markets, restaurants and inns and other boarding houses. The news of a potential metalbending academy has caused great excitement but Toph’s only just fifteen. She might be ready next year when she officially reaches adulthood.

The negotiations between the Fire Nation and the Southern Water Tribe go as smoothly as they could all wish for. He knows the glass gardens would be immensely helpful in the South Pole and he is happy to help as much as he can. Thankfully, his ministers seem convinced that it will be lucrative as well.

On the fourth day, Katara and Suki go off to the market with their friends. She pleads for him to come but he is quite caught up with arrangements with the closing banquet and has to regretfully turn her down. Somehow, Ty Lee asks to accompany them. Katara looks puzzled at the offer but shrugs it off and smilingly agrees.

When Zuko sees her make her entrance at the banquet, he can only be in awe of their shopping. She’s dressed in long navy silk robes but the broad sash around her waist is red and embroidered with gold. Her red undertunic peaks out beneath the deep v-neck and the long, bell-like sleeves are an exact match for his Fire Lord robes. Even her hair beads are gold tonight. Zuko feels like he’s been struck down by lightning once again.

Katara ignores the admiring murmurs and smiles straight at him. The nervous edge in her smile would probably not be visible to most but it prompts him to hurry forward and take her hand in his. “Do you like it? I wondered about the colours but the others insisted...”

“You look wonderful,” he breathes. “Don’t worry about the colours. People will think it’s a tribute to the Fire Nation as hosts or something.” Katara raises an eyebrow at him rather sceptically and he smiles. “Come on, this way. That’s where Sokka and the others are. I saw some of that wine you like.”

Zuko has to drift off soon when Minister Okulun waves him over to speak to the Earth Kingdom ambassador to Republic City. And Katara is already deep in conversation with Suki’s second-in-command, Ayumi, anyway. These meetings aren’t exactly the best places to converse. But every time his eyes drift over to her over the course of the night, he can feel the breath catch in his throat. And when she catches him looking, she flashes him a secret smile.

Zuko undresses in silence at the end of the long night. He hasn't lit any candles, the bright moonlight shining through the balcony doors is enough to see by. There’s a rustle from the light drapes there and he whirls around, dropping into a bending stance. But it’s just Katara, in a light sleep tunic. “Can I sleep here with you tonight?”

He raises an eyebrow, impressed at the deft way she’s evaded the sight of the guards patrolling outside and aware of the absolute scandal this could cause. “We’re going to Ember Island for three days.”

“Your mom and uncle will be there!” she protests. Then, after a pause, “Does that mean I should leave?”

“No! Come here.” They settle in together on his large bed and Katara draws close to him. Her hand comes to rest on top of his tunic, exactly where Azula’s scar lies. He’s never held her responsible for that but he knows that day sits on her shoulders like a burden. Zuko wishes he could take it away. He’d do it again if it came down to it. She fits perfectly against him, head on his shoulder, toes brushing his calves. Zuko feels like their very bones had been built to be aligned, the space against his side was her space. Katara draws absent-minded figures on his chest and he has to stifle a jaw-cracking yawn. “I wish I could have spent more time with you tonight.”

“It’s okay. You had to be all Fire Lordy. And I needed to concentrate on all the diplomatic stuff.”

“Plan number five for being an ordinary couple, we’ll never go to a banquet ever again.”

“Absolutely,” she murmurs. “Only festivals and dances.”

“You’ll wear flowers in your hair and teach me all the dances from all the nations that you know.”

“And we’ll get tipsy and I’ll kiss you in front of everyone and it won’t cause a sensation.”

He looks at her. She’s completely outlined in the light of the three-quarters-moon. “I love you.”

The words don’t come easily to him, even now, even knowing she feels the same way. He's not sure he's ever uttered them to anyone other than Katara. Maybe his mother, when he was little. She always says them first. He can tell her he missed her, he can make plans of forever with her, he can confess his deepest secrets to her. But those words are harder. She never demands them of him.

“I know.” She strokes a strand of hair away from his eyes. “I love you too.”


	26. Chapter 26

Toph stumbles into the kitchen sleepily. Zuko is the only one there for the moment, which is pretty surprising considering the house full of guests. “Hey Sparky, where are the others?”

“ _Good morning, Zuko._ Oh hello Toph, good morning to you too,” he says snarkily in response. Toph’s brows furrow as if she is wondering if she should trip him and make him fall on his face. He’d probably be able to avoid it but he still hurriedly speaks up to distract her. “Sokka and Suki went to the beach. Uncle received some message from Master Piandao and the White Lotus about some agitation in the northern isles and he decided it was important enough for him to go off.” His voice is a little fretful. “And mother and Katara wanted to go to the market.”

If Toph is surprised he didn’t accompany them, she doesn’t say anything. They haven’t actually met since that first time, though he does know there has been an exchange of letters, and the two women wanted some bonding time of their own. “Man, I can’t believe Aang took off right after the talks. He didn’t even give us any warning.”

“Oh, that.” Zuko is aware he sounds uncomfortable. Toph tilts her head in his direction. “Aang actually...umm...he found out, that is, he saw Katara and me. The first evening. In the gardens.”

Her reaction causes him some surprise. She lets out a bark of laughter. “Wow, so you guys found the _worst_ way of letting him know?”

“We weren’t trying to get caught, you know!”

“Well, why were you smoochy-facing in the garden then?” A pause and her nose wrinkles. “Wait. You _were_ only kissing, right?”

“Yes, Toph!” Zuko thumps his face down on the table.

“Don’t worry about Aang. He’ll get over it. His ego was hurt, that’s all.”

“I don’t know about that. He seemed very upset.”

“Obviously. Katara was his first crush and practically the first girl he’s ever known. He thought they were going to end up together forever. But he has definitely been getting over her. And now, she’s in love with you. For Aang, that’s probably like she chose you over him.”

“But that’s not how it was!”

“Yeah, he’ll think over it and realise that and also remember that you’re all friends and he’ll come back okay with the whole thing.”

“If you say so. I’m not sure why I’m taking advice from a fifteen-year-old.”

“Okay, granddad. You go on sulking then. I’m going to go to the verandah and sit in the shade and wait for Katara.”

***

“Thank you for coming with me, Katara,” Ursa smiles at her.

“Oh, I was happy to. Thank you for writing me all these months and letting me know how Zuko was.” She shoots a rueful smile at the older woman, “He’s allergic to letting me know how he really is.”

“At the stake of making this awkward, I would like to say I know how important you and my son are to each other. And I’ve wanted to get to know you from the first moment I saw you. Since I know you’re very busy with a lot of things, I’ve been very happy to receive your letters.”

Katara blinks. Ursa was right. This is an awkward conversation to have with Zuko’s mother. The handful of letters they have exchanged have been about everyday things and snippets of information about his well-being. Katara is suddenly vividly reminded that she hasn’t had any experience of dealing with a mother in a long time. “He is very important to me and I want to make him happy,” is all she says.

“You do. Very happy.”

She can’t control the smile that threatens to split her face. It’s still there as Ursa asks her about her favourite foods and they ooh and aah over various trinkets together. The older woman is good company and has many questions about the glass gardens and what they intend to plant there and Katara listens to her advice carefully. When she shyly offers to buy Katara a couple of embroidered ribbons Katara had been admiring, she finds it impossible to refuse.

“Azula never wanted such things, you see.” Ursa’s smile is rather brittle. “My daughter was very single-minded. She wanted to train and fight and improve her bending. She didn’t have much inclination to accompany her non-bender mother to the market or buy girly things. And now...now, she barely trusts me to order tea for her.”

Katara feels a frisson of sympathy shoot through her for Zuko’s mother. “My mother was killed when I was eight. She used to make my clothes and help me with my hair and tell me stories. But of course, she never saw so many important milestones.” Katara looks off towards the sea. “The older I grew, the more I needed her. To give me advice, so I could share things with her, so we could do silly girl things together. And she’s not there.”

“Oh my dear,” Ursa stops in her tracks and envelopes her in her arms. Katara freezes in shock at first, not used to the feeling. And Ursa doesn’t seem all that comfortable either. But slowly, they relax. “I can never take your mother’s place, of course. And I left my children for so long, I’m not even sure what kind of mother I can be.” The wistfulness within her voice is heartbreaking. “But if there is anything you want to talk about and if you feel comfortable enough to approach me, I promise to always listen, Katara.”

“Thank you,” her voice trembles as she clutches Zuko’s mother closer. If a couple of tears squeeze out, the older woman pretends not to see as she smiles at her.

***

They are seated on the beach a little ways away from the house. For once, Zuko has gone without his tunic and Katara wonders that he does not burn in the sun with his pale skin. But then, she supposes firebenders are a breed apart. She wrings out her hair. It’s a disaster from the seawater, the salt and sand and has frizzed up all around her face, there’s no saving it really. But Zuko still looks at her with an endeared gaze which leaves her feeling like jelly. Of course, he doesn’t look like a mess. Quite the opposite with his long wet strands falling rakishly into his eyes and around his shoulders.

“Did you have a good trip to the market?”

“Yes. Your mother is very kind.”

He huffs. “She didn’t say anything about us, did she?”

“She did but it was sweet.” At his look, she clarifies, “She’s just happy that you’re happy, Zuko. And she likes that I make you happy.”

“You do,” his hand raises to pull back a few locks of wet hair tangled against her cheeks and then catches her hand in his. Pulling it to his face, she watches him kiss the back. It’s the sweetest gesture Katara has ever seen. She brushes her fingers over those lips with which she’s intimately familiar now. The bottom one slightly fuller than the top. They drive her wild with kisses and ease her into calmness with reassurances. One corner quirks in amusement as she keeps gazing at him but how can she tear her gaze away? Doesn’t he know she doesn’t ever get her fill of looking at him? His breath trembles against her fingers. “I didn’t know it was possible to be this happy.”

“Even though we barely get to see each other?”

“Katara,” he frowns. “What brought this on?”

She’d sneaked into his room last night as well. Sleeping with him, waking up in the same bed in the morning – she’s not sure how she’ll be able to go back to the South Pole and just not see him for months again. She treasures his letters, their brief meetings are precious moments that she stores in her head and replays with longing but how long can this continue? How can they have a proper relationship in this manner?

“I know you’re Fire Lord,” she begins slowly. “And for now, you are tied to the Fire Nation. You can’t leave. We can’t run off and make a life for ourselves. We aren’t ordinary people. But Zuko, we can’t spend our entire relationship having bi-annual meetings and just living in the present.”

“Katara, we are very young. We still have so much time to make a decision.”

“But what decision will that be? You can’t leave so I’ll have to...”

His mouth tightens and lines form around the brackets. “I won’t ask you to leave your people for me.”

She looks at him. “Well, we’ll have to think of something. We can’t put off the decision indefinitely. Unless...unless this relationship is not going anywhere?”

“How can you say that?” They both freeze at the words but the moment isn’t comical. “Katara, you are the most important person in my life. I never thought you’d return my feelings and I _won’t_ let you go unless you want to leave.”

“Of course I don’t want to leave!”

“Then, we’ll figure it out, okay? We’ll think of something. I don’t want to make you leave your people behind.”

“Zuko, I won’t just turn my back on them for you, you know,” she breaks in gently. “It’s not like I have to choose between them and you. I can still help them, work for them. But I don’t want us to live all our lives apart.”

“We won’t,” he sighs, pulling her to him. They’re both sticky and it’s too warm but she allows it because they both need the contact. “We’ll work something out when the time comes. It’s not easy to have a relationship like this, I know. But Sokka and Suki are doing it too.”

She hums, “I suppose so. We’ll deal with it together, okay? We’ll talk to each other when we think the time is right and decide what to do.”

“Deal,” he presses a kiss to the top of her head.

***

It’s their last day on Ember Island and his mother has retired for the night but the rest of them are gathered together on the beach. It brings back old memories, the first time they’ve all been in a truly casual setting since the summer solstice at the Southern Water Tribe. Zuko wishes Aang were here too. It feels incomplete otherwise and at the saddened look on Katara’s face, he can tell it’s struck her too.

He thinks it’s strange that he had first brought them to this house by telling them that no one had been there since his family was truly happy. And now, he’s here with a rather different family. And they have managed, all together, to turn the house into something happy again. All day long, it rings with Katara’s laughter and Suki’s snorts, Sokka and Toph’s banter adds to the feeling of intimate familiarity. He’d watched his mother’s face brighten at the way they all interacted. Once Uncle left, she’d felt a little uncertain at being left with all the young ones but this trip has done much to revive her since her last trip here with Azula. She hasn’t spoken about it but he knows it had been _difficult_.

Toph is challenging Sokka into doing something stupid like climbing one of the palm trees and Zuko knows he’ll have to intervene soon so Sokka doesn’t actually do it. Honestly, at this age the man should know better! He cannot believe the dichotomy that is Sokka sometimes, the serious man with the revolutionary plans and ideas and the boy who thinks it’s a good idea to do the stupidest things to prove Agni-knows-what! Katara and Suki are no help whatsoever since they just grin at the back-and-forth. Zuko’s not sure what Toph will get out of this since she won’t even be able to see Sokka’s troubles. But then, she just likes baiting him just for the sake of it.

It’s an unorthodox family that he’s found, the stubbornest, most foolhardy pack and a bunch of animals who are the only ones with sense and whom he really misses now. But it’s his. _They’re_ his.

Zuko’s never really had a real family anyway. He wouldn’t exchange this for the world.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm obviously a liar. I'm so sorry for the delay! Unfortunately, real life got in the way. Hope you enjoy this chapter!

Katara stares at her father in surprise. “Me? You want me to represent the Tribe at the Western Air Temple?”

“Yes, Katara. I believe you would be very well-suited to the role of an ambassador of our Tribe.”

“But what about Sokka?”

“Sokka will be joining the Hunt this year. He won’t be here at that time. Aang has invited representatives from all the Nations at the opening of the Western Air Temple. It’s going to be the primary base of the Air Nomad families. And you’re one of the most important diplomatic figures in our Tribe.”

“I know how important this is, Dad. It’s just...this will be the first time I’m attending something like this without Sokka alongside.”

“Anjij will be going along. And Sik enjoyed travelling to the Fire Nation so much, why don’t you ask her if she wants to go with you?”

She smiles, “I’m sure Sik will be thrilled. And I’m honoured to represent the Tribe.”

Hakoda studies her shrewdly, “There’s a but in there.”

She sighs. “It’s just Aang.”

“What happened, sweetheart? I thought Aang was your best friend.”

“He is but I’m not sure I’m his anymore. Aang saw Zuko and me kissing at the Fire Nation during this year’s talks.” She casts a quick glance at her father at this information but Hakoda only looks stoic. “He was _so_ upset Dad. He left as soon as he could and we haven’t spoken since.”

Hakoda is silent for a few moments but then he sits down on a thick rug and beckons her closer. She goes and cuddles into her father’s side like a child. It feels good. It feels safe from all the new troubles that have come with adulthood.

“Katara, correct me if I’m wrong but I’ve seen you and Zuko together. I’ve seen the looks you exchange. This boy...this relationship, it’s not going anywhere, is it? For you two, it’s forever?”

“I hope so,” she whispers. “Sometimes I’m afraid because we spend so much time apart and belong to two different countries. I’m afraid of what people will say.”

“You’ve never been bothered about what people say and Zuko doesn’t seem to be either. You’ve been together for years, haven’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Then you must have known that Aang would eventually find out. And it’s only natural that he would feel hurt when he did. He would need time to get used to it.”

“He hasn’t written back to me though. I wrote him as soon as I came back and there’s been no reply.” She huffs. “I thought he was over me.”

“Even if he is, it’s no small thing to have the girl who rejected you fall for your friend. That’s a blow to the pride.”

“I didn’t think such things mattered to Aang.”

She feels her father’s shoulders shake with silent laughter under her. “It would matter to most people. It certainly would to me. To you as well, if you think about it.”

She thinks about it, about the betrayal it would feel like if Zuko had rejected her and moved on to Suki or one of her other friends. It’s difficult to imagine given that she can clearly picture his eyes as he looks at her, the honey-amber warmth that she’s termed _hers_ in her own mind. “I suppose so.”

“You just need to talk to him, sweetheart. But given this fact, if you are uncomfortable about seeing Aang, I’ll speak to Sokka about representing us this time.”

“No. No, he was so excited about being a part of the Hunt this time. And you’re right, we do need to talk. I’ll be okay. And I’ll have Sik and Anjij with me.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to make you do anything you’re not sure about.”

“Yes.” She straightens her shoulders. Somehow, confronting a friend can be so much harder than facing an enemy. But Katara was the one who’d received the Mark of the Brave when she was only fourteen, wasn’t she? She can do this.

***

The Western Air Temple isn’t the easiest place to get to. The ship lands at the island and Katara’s retinue stares up at the soaring cliffs rising above them in wonder. Aang is standing with Appa and Momo on the beach and there’s a balloon parked alongside to ferry all the people who will not fit on the air bison.

“Ambassador Katara,” Aang greets formally with a bow. His tone is carefully cordial.

In front of all her people, Katara responds in kind. “Avatar Aang.”

He greets the others before directing them to climb aboard so they may reach the Temple. Sik fairly hangs off Appa’s saddle in excitement and Katara has to smile as she watches from her place in the back, Momo in her lap. She sees Aang turn back to look once and his lips twitch in a grin as well.

In the main courtyard of the temple, attendants wait to escort her retinue to their rooms but Aang stops her from following. “Katara,” he sounds strangely shy, boyish. “I’m glad you came. I’m glad to see you.”

“Oh Aang,” she flings her arms around him. Katara is a woman grown now but she doesn’t think she’ll ever get over this childish habit of squeezing people at the drop of a hat. He returns the hug tentatively. “I’m _so_ happy to see you.”

“I know this isn’t the time or place and we’ll talk later but I’m sorry for ignoring you. I’m happy for you and Zuko, I really am. I’m alright now and I’ll do better, I promise.”

“It doesn’t matter,” she stresses firmly. “I’ve missed you.”

“Missed you too.” And there it is, that carefree smile that’s all Aang. “Friends still?”

“Friends always.”

***

The renovations of the Temple have been marvellous. There is no sign that it was ever attacked by Azula and with all the Air Nomad descendents roaming the halls and growing crops in one corner and the sparkling cleanliness of once-dusty halls, Katara almost cannot recognise the place. She had tried her best to keep it all clean, of course. But she had been one person and Toph and the boys hadn’t helped much so it had been all she could do to keep the central hall where they all slept dust-free. The place had kind of rung with an eerie air of large unoccupied spaces despite the levels of noise they managed to create. To see the bustling corridors and gardens now brings a sense of serenity. It chases away the ghosts of the long-departed Nomads.

Katara watches Aang teach his little student, the pride and future of the Air Nomads, every afternoon. It is immeasurably strange seeing Aang in the role of tutor in this very place, on the very ledge where he was the student during those desperate weeks after the failed attack at Caldera. It strikes her how the Avatar is almost the same age as Zuko was then. How very similar and yet how different they are from each other. Because laughing, cheery, joyous Aang could not be any more different from Zuko’s tense and broody personality in those days as he teaches his young student various breathing exercises and fun tricks. This boy who has so many hopes pinned on him as the first Air Nomad of this new generation, but who will hopefully never have the kind of pressure placed on his shoulders as Katara and her friends. He can make friends with whoever he wants, travel the different nations for fun and not in order to save the world, learn at his own pace however fast or slow it may be just like all her little students.

She joins Sik and Anjij for meals and laughs as they practically inhale the wonderful fruit pies and cabbage dumplings that the Air Nomad kitchens produce, remembering when Aang had introduced them to his food in the very same place. They spend hours chatting with the men and women who have had generations of the old traditions and stories passed down to them and it is humbling to get this inside glimpse into a people who should by all accounts be dead but have survived by sheer resilience. Katara begins to understand that Aang’s ability to adapt and survive is something intrinsic in him that is shared with his people.

***

“Unable to sleep?”

She looks up from where she’s seated quite close to the edge of the courtyard. It’s not the safest spot perhaps with just the wispy clouds below her, but it always gives Katara a sense of breathless adventure just to sit at the very edge and feel the air currents buffet her from every side. She’s sat there many nights by herself when tension and worries made sleep impossible. Aang smiles as he joins her.

It’s a full moon night and she reaches forward with her senses quite unconsciously as she has become accustomed to for the last few years. She can feel everyone at the temple, their slow heartbeats indicating that they’re all asleep. Except the boy at her side.

“You know how restless I get on full moon nights.” He nods but doesn’t comment. She glances at the uncharacteristically serious face he has on and sighs. “I suppose it’s time for our talk?”

“Why didn’t you tell me, Katara? Of course it hurt when I first found out you were together but apparently everyone knew before I did.”

“Aang,” she bites her lip. It’s an excuse, she knows. They’d known it was an excuse when they’d first posited it. “We _were_ going to tell you. After the anniversary...”

“Because you thought I would not be able to deal with it.” It’s not a question. “You didn’t think I could handle the truth.”

“We thought it would distract you.”

“I’m not a child, Katara. You don’t always have to protect me and hide the truth from me. I can handle things.”

“I wasn’t...” She stops with a sharp breath. Because he’s right. She always has been overprotective over Aang from the very first, attempting to hide all unpleasantness from him. “You’re right,” she admits. “I have a tendency to do that.”

“Katara...you are my best friend and I know that I would not have won if you had not been by my side. And for every way that you supported and protected me, I’m thankful. But I’m grown up now. I’m the same age Sokka was when I first met you. You can’t protect me from everything.”

“You’re right, Aang. I’m sorry. I know I should have just told you myself and finding out in that manner must have been terrible." She gives him a rather pitiful shrug of the shoulders. She doesn't really enjoy admitting to her mistakes, she knows this is one of her flaws. But it's true that she did not give Aang enough credit. "I’ll work on it.”

“And I’m sorry for being distant and not speaking with you these last few months.”

“I understand that you needed time to absorb it.”

He smiles and holds out his arms to her and she sinks into them. It doesn’t feel strange anymore. It feels like hugging Sokka or any of her other friends would be. He’s taller than her now, having suddenly shot up, and the signature smell of sugar and fresh linens clings to him. It’s comforting in its familiarity, in the knowledge that things with Aang will be alright, in the knowledge that they have both grown with this episode.

“So, will you move to the Fire Nation?” Aang asks once he lets go of her, looking a little uncertain.

“Someday,” she sighs. “Zuko doesn’t want to ask me to leave my people but he can’t leave his right now. I’ll go one day. Dad’s offered me the position of a diplomat, which means a lot of travelling. I’m set to go to the Northern Water Tribe after this.”

“Isn’t that going to make things more difficult between the two of you? Zuko, when he spoke to me, he said that even your rare meetings were enough but...”

“Honestly? It’s not really ideal. I want to see more of him. I want to spend time with him.” She looks up to the sky, letting the energy from Tui wash over her. She can see Ursa’s constellation off to the right, one lone star twinkling brighter than all the rest. She imagines it shining down on the Fire Nation gardens, imagines Tui casting her light into Zuko’s study through the great glass doors, where he is probably still working. If she were there, she’d drag him out, wilfully distract him from his work for the night. “We’ll have to speak about it soon. And I’d like to move to the Fire Nation to be with Zuko. I’ll still travel home a lot, probably.”

Aang doesn’t speak for a long time but then he sighs and murmurs, “I’m sure you’ll figure it all out eventually. You can do anything you set your mind to.”

“Thanks Aang. And thank you so much for hosting us here. You’ve done such an amazing job with this place. Will you be moving on to one of the other temples now?”

“Not yet. There aren’t too many of the Air Nomad families yet and spreading out too far will be a little difficult. For now, we’re going to concentrate on the two that we’ve already renovated. But I’m still looking out for new Air Nomads and there have been a few people from the Earth Kingdom too who have asked if they could come live the Air Nomad way. It’s different from what it used to be in my childhood. But it’s still building up our way of life again.” His eyes shine. “I’d given up hope of that for a while. I can’t tell you what it’s like to see it around me again.”

“I’m so proud of you, Aang,” she whispers.

“I’m proud of you too, Katara,” he grins back at her.


	28. Chapter 28

The news that Bumi has passed away comes as rather a shock to all of them. Katara cannot even begin to understand how Aang must feel about this. Finally, after all these years, his last tie to the world _before_ is gone. Her heart aches for him. She and Sokka exchange a look at the news and know that they must hurry for the end rites. Not just for Bumi, who for all his insane capers, was a faithful friend when they needed him, but also for Aang, who would now need all his friends around him.

Two weeks later, when they reach Omashu, there’s a certain hushed atmosphere around the entire city. It’s strange to witness because even at the height of the Fire Nation invasion, the city had not felt this way. They are greeted at the gates by one of Bumi’s old courtiers whom they had met at one of the peacekeeping conferences and there is an escort to accompany them to the palace. For all that Katara has begun to get used to the ceremonial ways of the other nations, it’s still strange to have all this attention on _her_!

Much to her astonishment, she learns that not only are Aang, Toph and Iroh here but Zuko has accompanied his uncle as well. It’s unusual for both of them to be away from the capital and she cannot help feeling a little cheered at the thought of seeing him. It makes her chide herself for being selfish but her heart still beats a little faster when she descends the carriage at the palace steps and finds her friends standing outside. Still, she goes to Aang first, embracing him tightly.

“How are you?”

“I’m alright. I’ll be fine. Bumi’s lived a long life and he died peacefully. His time had come. I’ll be okay.”

She studies him carefully. “You’re sure?”

“Yes,” there’s a tender smile on his face, a little sad, but still there. “Thank you for coming.”

“Of course.”

“Go on, he’s been waiting for you.”

She shoots him a look but turns to the young Fire Lord. Zuko doesn’t say a word, simply opening his arms for her. Sokka and Toph pretend to scoff at them but Katara can feel the nervous anxiety that had been building within her because of the many, many months without him flowing out as his warmth, his scent and Zuko himself enfold her. He murmurs something which she doesn’t quite make out, being busy listening to the steady beat of his heart under her ear. She’ll never get tired of that sound, that sound which had almost been snatched away by Azula once and the nightmare hours that had followed where it had stuttered and tripped.

“How are you here?”

“Uncle needed me,” he says with a small frown. “And Aang did too. The council can handle themselves for a few weeks and Mother’s in charge.”

Katara smiles at the thought of Ursa, who has attempted to melt into the background of royal life ever since her return, being in charge of Zuko’s at times rather belligerent council and courtiers. But it’s true that Ursa has strength in plenty despite her frail appearance and she can handle herself.

Bumi's actual funeral has, of course, already taken place, having happened as soon as Aang arrived, shortly after the news reached him. He leads them to the small mound of Earth under which the King had been buried. Katara thinks of Bumi’s bones turning to dust in the ground and thinks there couldn’t be a more fitting fate for an earthbender. There’s a small memorial from the same sort of sandstone that Omashu is built of and housed within are little pots of items that will be needed for Bumi’s journey to the next life, as per the customs of his people. They bow their heads in respect and remember the crazed old man who was nevertheless so full of life and energy. Katara finds it rather ironic that people are wishing him peace and tranquillity, considering the fact that these may have been alien words to Bumi in his lifetime. Perhaps it’s all the more reason that he will need it now, she thinks with a smile. Or it may well drive him nuts.

***

It takes Zuko and Katara three days before they are able to sneak away to the Cave of Two Lovers, being the international ambassadors that they are. The preparations for the coronation of Bumi’s chosen successor, a thirty-something earthbender named Tal who had been part of Bumi’s council, is in full swing. There are numerous parties and meetings and of course, Aang has needed much of their attention. But it all fades into the background for a short while as the two of them stand before the two tombs.

She remembers being here as a fourteen-year-old, when she had thought the story of the two was the most romantic thing she had ever heard. She remembers Zuko, on a boat, years ago, saying, _It’s a sad story_. It is sad, she thinks, how slow humans are to change, how much destruction they can wreak on each other. Standing here, with the piles of earth pressing down on top of and all around them, the cool darkness of the cave where no sunlight ever shines, no warmth reaches, no stars wink down, Katara feels an urge to leave this history behind, to leave the dead to themselves. Oma and Shu’s legacy lies in the city above, in the earthbenders she has met - in Toph's determination and Haru's courage and Bumi's strength, not in this cavern.

And this is not her place.

Zuko’s callused fingertips brush hers. He has stood beside her in silence for long minutes, gazing down at the memorial stones sombrely, deep in thought. He turns his eyes towards her as she takes his hand, the honey-gold of them the warmest thing in the cave. It isn’t his place either. He grips her fingers tightly, smiles that shy but radiant smile she loves, and pulls her out into the light.

***

The palace at Omashu unsurprisingly has the most magnificent view in the city, perched as it is on the highest point of the tallest hill. At night, with the lights of the city twinkling bright enough to drown out the stars above, there’s something almost magical in the sight. Katara has been to so many places now, seen so many things, each different from the other. It still thrills her to find that there is some aspect of beauty everywhere.

“I thought I would find you here,” she hears a well-loved voice intone behind her.

“You know me so well,” she grins back at him. But at the warm look in his eyes, her smile softens into something more tender. She sinks into him as he hesitantly wraps his arms around her, his chest molding to her back. Zuko is of a height to rest his chin on top of her head.

“I wanted to talk to you about something,” his voice is a low murmur against her ear.

“Hmmm?”

“You know Bato wishes to retire as ambassador.” It isn’t a question, but the words jolt through her, the meaning behind them shooting through her like an electric current. She turns in the circle of his arms. The uncertainty in his expression breaks her heart. The knowledge that it is himself he doubts, not her.

“My father told me, yes.”

“Katara,” he draws a long breath. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Zuko.”

“I know. And we’ve been managing fine for years. But you’re not really okay with fine anymore, are you?” She doesn’t even bother to shake her head because he knows the answer. Zuko looks her directly in the eye, “I would like to offer you the position of ambassador, as Bato’s successor.”

“Really?” She'd been expecting it but the words still sets her heart hammering triple-time.

“Your father thinks you will be a great diplomat and I couldn’t agree more. I’m so proud of you, Katara, of all that you have done. I don’t want to take away anything from you and it’s completely your decision. But this way, we...we could be together while you work on improving the world. I would like you to know that the position is yours if you should want it.”

“So I can live in Caldera?”

He breaks into a smile, “You’d kind of have to. You’ll still probably have to travel a lot but you’ll have a house in Caldera.”

“It’s a big house,” she whispers. “I’ve seen Bato’s house.”

“It would be _yours_ if you agreed,” he whispers back, like they are exchanging secrets.

“It does have a flaw. No direct access to the Fire Lord’s rooms. I wouldn’t be able to sneak into your bedroom.”

“I would be able to sneak into yours,” he murmurs, dipping his head to press his cheek against hers. She registers dimly that it’s his left cheek. After years of being closed off from everyone, it still surprises her and warms her heart when he allows himself to be this vulnerable. “It’ll keep me in practice for midnight missions.”

“You know, you’re not supposed to do those anymore. Your security would lose their minds.” He is dropping soft open-mouthed kisses on her cheekbones, her jaw, his slightly-chapped lips brushing her ear and moving down to her neck. It’s unfair really, she can’t concentrate when he distracts her like this. But he knows her answer now. As if there was any other she would give.

“What my security doesn’t know won’t hurt them.”

She draws back, looks at him in the moonlight, all blacks and whites, like a charcoal painting. He is the most beautiful thing she has ever seen.

“Yes, Zuko. A hundred times, yes. I would be proud to take Bato’s place as the ambassador in the Fire Nation.”

His entire face seems to light up with joy. His arms tighten around her, sweeping her closer till there is no telling where she ends and he begins. A gleam in his eyes hints at one of his more bold and impulsive moments. “You know this is the prelude to a bigger question, right?”

Katara’s heart leaps. “Yes, and my answer will be yes to that as well. But let’s wait for that.”

And there, on the terrace of the palace of Omashu, she draws Zuko’s face down to hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a shorter chapter and one I'm not altogether happy with. I am very sorry for the delays but it's been kind of hard to keep writing this story. My initial steam has, alas, run out. There is one more chapter to go, an epilogue of sorts to wrap it all up. Thank you so very much to all who have read, commented, bookmarked, left kudos on and generally supported me through this story.


End file.
